To be a bit disappointed in my brother?

[twosmallbuttons]

He has not sent a card (or present, although am less bothered by that) for DD's 3rd birthday yesterday.

No text. No call.

But he 'liked' the photos of her party on fb in between posting links to random crappy news sites so clearly knows

I know my DC aren't the highlight of everyone else's world, but AIBU to think this is a bit rubbish of immediate family?

Would you say anything to him, if you were me? Or just silently add it to the spreadsheet of annoyances?

I don't know OP - really only you can know what is usual in your family - but we've never done cards for each others children or even presents actually on the day but rather when we see the children. I think cards are a senseless waste of money ESPECIALLY on a child who can't even read the card!

My niece's birthday was at the beginning of June. For many reasons i didn't get round to giving her a gift until yesterday. She was 5. My DB NEVER gives my DD's a gift at birthday or christmas. I cba arguing about this. Life is too short.

Well yes I know DD wont know the difference, but I will. As a family we are usually quite good at remembering occasions. Perhaps it just isn't as important to him as it is to the others

He's the godfather to my DS too. I wonder if he'll forget his birthday next year?

Depends if I ever sees her tbh, if he hardly sees you or her then yabu

I still get a bday card from one of my uncles now! As a child most of their wives sent me one but I can't imagine me or my parents being overly fussed either way since we hardly saw them

My brother is rubbish at remembering birthdays, he never remembers to bring a card round nevermind gifts. But when he sees his nephew he's brilliant with him, that's the part that's important. He doesn't ever make a thing out of his own birthday, I genuinely think he just doesn't see birthdays (anyone's birthday) as important. I agree, life's too short.

One of my DB's has never sent a card to any of my three now teenagers. It just doesn't occur to some people.

Isn't it the thought that counts? Even just a text would've been ok.

My generally quite nice DH has no idea when my niece and nephew's birthdays are; I don't think he actually knows when his own nephew's is (I only remember because it's the same day as my great-aunt). To be honest, when you don't have children of your own, junior family birthdays don't ping your radar quite as much as when you do, unless you see the children in question often or colossal reminder hints are dropped in good time.

Drop hints. Remind him how special birthdays are to young children - he might have forgotten.

I'm pretty hit and miss with stuff like that in the family too...and so are my siblings.

It's never bothered me, them or the kids.

As for the Godfather thing, I expect that'll depend on whether he's a proper religious GF and does infact help to guide your DS in Christianity etc...or whether it was the other kind of Christening where no-one really cares about religion.

If it's the former, I expect he'll definitely remember.

We also have a family calendar with all the extended family members' birthdays on (tradition started by an aunt). So no excuse!

YANBU. Tell him. It doesn't have to be a big deal, just text/say 'aw, bro, was a bit sad you forgot DD's birthday (if something's in the post forget I mentioned it!).'

Some men just always need reminding of the obvious as its not important to them.

My father forgot my daughters birthdays again this year- it was their 16th & 18th respectively, not a sausage.

In the past when Ive reminded him the week before he's all
" What next week ?"

Yes dad the same date every year, that's why its called a birthday!!

I have given up this year & he is now sulking because I didn't send him a fathers day card.

Men are a bit crap at this. me and dd1 have birthdays on consecutive days- each year one of us will get a card. he has never bought for or acknowledged in any way dd2 or dd3's birthdays.

It's not a "men are crap" issue fuck I hate that meme its just that a lot pf people don't think other peoples small childrens birthdays are very important. I'm a woman and I never remember kids birthdays, they don't really register.

What AnnabelleLee said. My DB gets very upset that his DW's birthday isn't remembered, yet he never remembers or marks my or my other DSis's husband's birthdays. He's okay at the kids though, but sometimes it's a lot late. He doesn't have DCs, would love them, DSIL has never wanted them and he chose her rather than DCs at a very early age. Suspect for him it's an emotionally difficult situation and easier to disengage. Maybe something like this?

Nyaaah, I wouldn't be bothered tbh. I'd expect him to slip me a tenner to buy something for the birthday boy though.

Oops,girl, sorry.

Oh yes, being in posession of a penis removes the section of the brain that stores memories, but only for shit like birthdays and anniversaries. Trufax.

My family (except for my Mum) are like this. I don't think it matters really.

I now don't bother doing too much in return either. If we are together then we buy meals or a bottle of booze for each other if there is a birthday but otherwise we don't do too much.

My brother still hasn't acknowledged my birthday which was 3 weeks ago. Prior to my birthday we were informed my present would be a part for our toilet, which has still not materialised.

Sometimes brothers need a bit of a nag, otherwise there is nothing to do but get over it.

Sounds like my brother TBH. He would not have a clue when any of my kids birthdays were. (And would probably struggle to correctly give all their ages). He came for a weekend away for my 40th birthday - along with about 30 of the family - and he was the only person who did not buy me a card. Apparently it did not occur to him that the normal thing to do if celebrating a landmark birthday with a weekend away (which I paid for) would be to remember to buy the person a card!

It doesn't bother me, particularly, TBH. Or the kids. They just accept that their uncle doesn't really think about that kind of thing. (Even though I always send him presents/cards for his birthday). Christmas always appears to take him vaguely by surprise, too, for some reason. Perhaps its a tricky date to remember!

Meh.
Don't think my DB's would have a flying clue when my kids birthdays are. I barely remember my DNephews and DNieces birthdays, but I always make an effort if I DO remember IYSWIM. Some people men just aren't good at remembering birthdays (or thinking about other people at all unless nagged by a woman). I would class every male person in my life into that category, actually. Can't think of one who is good at birthdays.

Man + Brother = snowballs chance in hell of remembering a birthday (or even what day of the week it is!)

Oops I should have read Stunts post above -with the anatomical details.. Even better

In the minority here but OP YANBU.

Maybe it's just that all families are different, but it is odd to me that such close relatives would not make a point of acknowledging their family member's birthdays, particularly the children's.

I used to delight in putting up my cards in a row on the windowsill, as do my children. All part of the special day, yet if MN is to be believed then many kids should be grateful for a solitary card from their parents. Weird.