To think Blackpool is a bit shit

[Cutitup]

Just came back from Blackpool and it was utter shit. Why haven't the council there made improvements and made it a decent place to visit?

There is hardly anywhere halfway reasonable to eat, it looks completely broken and unloved. There is just so much potential for development and it could be the "Orlando" of England. Instead, it's just shite.

I've come away thinking I don't need to take my children to Africa to appreciate what they've got: just take them to Blackpool.

On a good note, the beach is very nice. Shame about the drunks weeing all over the stairs to the beach and leaving beer cans everywhere. I saw broken Britain in Blackpool and I shall never go back again.

Chipped

Ah, Blackpool.

I went there in 1999, to meet up with some of my oldest friends. I was living a couple of hours away, so DH told me to go and see them, leaving him with our DCs, it was the first time I'd left our youngest and was slightly apprehensive about being away, so I only went for the one night.

Got there and they were already on the beer. We ended up going out really early in the evening, all dressed to the nines, which was quite nice, as I'd not really been out much in the past few years (too busy having babies).

Anyway, first pub we went to, I was chatted up. Lad was desperate to kiss me, I told him I was at least twice his age and to find a girl instead of a Mum.

Next pub, almost exactly the same.

We then went to Funny Girls. Should have just stayed there, cos we had an absolutely brilliant time, but the others wanted to go on. We ended up in lots more places unfortunately.

Anyway, every single pub we went to, I had lads trying it on. Every single one of them was at least ten years younger than me. At the time, I was 35, and while certainly not ugly, I was definitely not astoundingly gorgeous, I imagine I looked mumsy.

Each lad would not listen when I told them I was just out with my pals, and was happily married. They all seemed to think I was just out on the pull and wanted nothing more than to take them to my bed.

Part of me was flattered, part of me just couldn't understand it. Why would they go for a married Mum of four who was (in some cases) old enough to be their Mother?

The rest of the girls had the same problem. We couldn't speak to each other for lads butting in, trying it on.

The night ended with my DSis snogging a lad of 17, when she was twice his age. Not her best night. I had to drag her back to our room.

After a sleepless night, I got on a train with another pal and cried all the way home about how much I missed my family.

Never been back since. Not really wanted to, as you can imagine.

The only time my knickers were twisted were when I was groped at the hotdog stand under the Big One at the Pleasure Beach.

Good hotdogs though, I'll give you that.

You COUGAR. Rawwwr!

I know, but they really did seem just desperate to get their legs over.

For those that say 999 What's Your Emergency is not representative of Blackpool, I beg to differ! I know quite a few of the emergency service people featured on there and, believe me, it was perfectly representative of the shit they have to deal with on a regular basis

However, we go to Blackpool and surrounding areas quite regularly - Coral Island passes the time if you just keep giving the DC 2p coins Cleveleys front is lovely now they have done it up, there is a great park in Lytham...you just need to pick your areas

My recollections after coming out from under bed following Steeplechase flashbacks:

Staying at Birches Modern Holiday Flatlets in 1980 if modern meant 1880.

Mental donkey ride. Donkey took off as if tail alight, cornered the pier on an ear and a hoof and after scattering a 5 aside skidded to a halt and dropped me on the sand. DFs favourite story. Did I mention it was 1980?

1998 with friends. B&B offered "bed lights" as a USP.

Arrived Saturday 2pm. Entire clientele of Linnekars in togas wearing a green earring. Investigation in toilet discovered green earring meant you'd stocked upon jonnys. Decided sunglasses indoors was strategy best to avoid face being smashed in.

7pm arrived in bar. Person 3 feet away turned and vommed on carpet. Ignored by all.

Had riotous time.

Midnight went to a club so hot, no heat other than the sun could match it. We were pouring pints of water on our own heads. As night contd black shit dripped from ceiling, obviously years of fag shit glued on nightly dislodged by inferno like heat.

2pm kebab amongst couples just shagging on pavement. It was April.

Nice breakfast. Left.

Name changed for this...was born in Blackpool and grew up in St.Annes. Couldn't wait to escape! I'm back for a few days at the moment, visiting family. I tend to just stay away from Blackpool as I find it quite grim.
I can't help but get a little defensive when people say I'm from Blackpool and correct them quickly, pointing out that Lytham St. Anne's is not the same in any way!

Used to go to the Palace and Just Jis but can't remember our other haunts! Maybe I'm blocking it out! Did anyone here go to the school beginning with A?

It was brill as a small child as we had the Pleasure Beach, school trips to the zoo, and also the Sandcastle, the beach, even the arcades to go to.
And Batesons toy shop!

Had to spend quite a lot of time in Cleveleys too and had forgotten all about the then funny little Tesco. There was also a butchers opposite which had sawdust in the floor. You don't get that now.

Lytham is lovely - the Taps pub, the tea shops, there's a fab newish one almost next to the old Ship and Royal (not sure if it is still called that?) Stringers in Lytham is a charming small department store and definitely worth a visit, as is the independent book shop further along Clifton Street.

Really impressed by Tiggis ( and frankly, I'm something of a spoilt southerner after 20 odd years there so quite fussy). I will be there tomorrow night in fact! Used to go there as a child but never saw Les or Ian Botham. We did meet Russell Grant and Derek Batey (other locals) though haha. Not quite the kudos of Les.

There's also an amazing little fish and chip shop restaurant behind the prom, in the parade of shops near the Grand Hotel in St Anne's. sorry I don't know the road name. It's like eating in someone's charming little living room and they make the most fab ice creams in very unusual flavours.

Will be off to the beach tomorrow - it was gorgeous here today and so much better than when we visit on grim winter days when it is almost always blowing a flipping gale!

Any locals got any insights on new places we could try? I'm a bit out of touch.

Sorry for the long post by the way!

TSS really hope that we meant to be 2am not pm for the shagging on the pavement. Surely even Blackpool doesn't manage that at 2pm

Ceebee but isn't the point they're making that even if 999 emergency is real, it's just one small part of the town and there are nicer parts?

Oh it does. In the parks anyway!

aly although if Marmalade's there they make an exception

Finger crossed Beertricks

Poulton's fine....he can go out there :)

I keep telling DH we should move, but he points out we cannot actually move to the 1950's and everywhere has it's bad parts

I'm not surprised

My parents have just moved to Bispham and whilst that's fine, they keep getting the tram into Blackpool. They could easily wander into the Tower Lounge or Uncle Brian's by mistake

Catgirl I know what you mean about your ds growing up wanting to
go out in Blackpool. I'm the same, he's five now but I also have the fear.

I'm glad it's not just me tan

We will have to tell them marvelous things about Poulton. Although then they might rebel and go to Blackpool anyway :(

"Arrived Saturday 2pm. Entire clientele of Linnekars in togas wearing a green earring. Investigation in toilet discovered green earring meant you'd stocked upon jonnys. Decided sunglasses indoors was strategy best to avoid face being smashed in."

What the flip?!

You see you're baffled by that part Marm yet not by the ignored 7pm vom, ceiling gunge or 2am open air sex fest.

But yes, you got free luminous green earrings with the condoms. Pop in the earrings and people know you're packing. Hard not to stare, hence sunglasses

You cannot beat a Linekarsfor pure class. I visited the one in Tenerife. On our arrival a group of British women were engaged in a full blown fist-fight. Also 7pm.

Is there something about 7pm that triggers twattishness I ponder?

Oh I have been to nightclubs with celiling gunge. Oh yes. 2am open air sex fest par for the course in this area of Great Britain. Similar with 7pm vom.

But a green earring? I am having trouble visualising it. Where were the earrings worn? What style were they? A stud or dropper?

My wife comes from a poorer Eastern European country where poverty is real and standard of living is much lower. She's used to things being a bit more run down and not tip top condition.

Even she thinks Blackpool is an utter shithole and refuses to go back there.

You know, I just thought of a night out I had that was way more terrifying than a night out in Blackpool. Banbury.

Went out there with a friend (god knows why). We are both from Blackpool and not easily shocked but Banbury was terrifying and dull all at the same time.

Right the earring. It was a fluro green circle on a dropper earring. Most people only wore one in one ear IYSWIM. It was weird seeing it at first, you wondered if everyone performed synchronised accessorising. Then you realised they came with the jonnies. Like a ready to shag symbol. 'twas weird, but I suppose it did eliminate doubt and the need for conversation.