Friend on the brink of an affair

[Caryfakes]

That's it really. My friend has been in touch with an old school friend, they have met up for coffee twice and now plan on meeting in an hotel on Sunday evening. She's been confiding in me and although I haven't condoned her behaviour I haven't condemned it either although I think she's being very selfish. She has 4 dc, her dp is lovely, she admits this but says she's bored. She's asked if she can use me as an alibi for Sunday evening which I'm not happy about. Just writing that down has made me realise that I'm not BU actually! I feel really cross with her for jeopardizing her family for a bit of attention. I don't want to cut her out of my life as our ds are friends but its made me look at her in a different light. Has anyone else been put in this position?

[SirChenjin]

Are you sure it's only been 2 coffees if they are talking of marriage and relocating?

[Scruffey]

Stay well out of it, don't let her speak to you about the subject ever again. She has no idea how destructive affairs can be and she also does not appreciate what she is putting in jeopardy. What starts out as a bit of an ego boost wreaks many people's lives, hers included.

[specialsubject]

run away.

if she is bored, there are other ways to spend time rather than shagging outside marriage.

[Beastofburden]

YANBU. Stay neutral and refuse to lie about anything.

I have known cases where this happened and the mother and father got back together again. The mother did lose friends over it, as people saw her in a different light, and because there were clashes over not providing alibis, things said at school gates that got back to her, etc.

Try to keep a good enough relationship going that your DC stay friends and maybe you provide a bit of a refuge for the child with an angry home life, but thats it.

[Whothefuckfarted]

It's all very well saying 'oh well my 45 year marriage is the product of an affair'

Like that makes it okay?

Bollocks to that, if you're not happy with someone, leave them. I can't stand the thought of someone staying with me until something better comes along.. playing house and waiting to make sure it's all good to go with the new person before eventually deciding to end it.

Disgusting.

[Whothefuckfarted]

Oh and YANBU, don't be her alibi. I'd question a friendship with someone with such shitty morals.

[TheCrackFox]

Keep well out of it.

One of my friends asked me to provide her with an alibi and I refused. She completely in love but he didn't. 5 yrs later she is still with her DH. I think less of her and desperately sorry for her DH who still doesn't know about the affair and that he is basically her safety net.

[themaltesefalcon]

Her poor family.

Well done you.