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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate it when cafe workers and shop assistants say....

142 replies

burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 10:57

"are you all right there?" when they mean 'can I help you?'
it makes me feel like shouting 'DON'T I LOOK ALRIGHT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING YOU FUCKWIT? ARE YOU SUGGESTING I LOOK WEIRD OR SOMETHING?'
but of course i don't ......(or else they could have a point!
i often say 'fine thanks and are you all right there too?' which makes them a bit Hmm
another one that grates a bit is for example they put a coffee in front of you and you say 'thank you' and they say NO WORRIES!!!
GRRRRRRRR!!!

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 11:48
Original poster
burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 11:48

no need to break talk guidelines with personal insults stuntgirl, now is there?

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 11:51

No need to start fucking stupid threads.

Original poster
burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 11:53

well in that case half the threads on this forum should be deleted, oh sorry i mean fucking deleted.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 11:53

And if you came in my cafe with that attitude, Damn right I would be a 'fuckwit' and spit in your coffee.

Crinkle77 · 23/07/2013 11:53

Does it really matter? For me it's the level of customer service that is important and they are genuine when they say it.

Feminine · 23/07/2013 11:54

op did you not think about why assistants say these things?

Sometimes its important to do that...research a little.

have you ever worked in retail/customer service?

Original poster
burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 11:55

i have never been rude to a cafe worker ever, where does it say that? in fact i am unfailingly polite.
i did spit in someones drink tho when i worked behind a bar but that is another story.

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 23/07/2013 11:57

YANBU, it's really poor communication, as they are not saying what they mean. It is confusing, especially to non-Brits.

If meant as a pleasantry, fine. The correct response is 'well thanks', or 'yes, you?'. If said in place of 'what can I get you?' it is obfuscatory and actually prompts the opposite response to the one intended.

A Canadian relative expressed frustration after a cafeteria server had addressed him with 'you all right?'. He responded 'yes thanks', thinking it was an opening pleasantry. She then moved on to the next customer...

Getoutofmygumboot · 23/07/2013 12:02

Blimey us lot cant get anything right can we? Would you prefer it if we ignored you? Sometimes that's what i feel like doing especially when you rude bastards are talking on your phone while I'm trying to help you....

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 12:03

I often move on to the next customer if people look like they haven't finished making their minds up.

An ''you alright there' acknowledges that I have seen them and I am not ignoring them.

Most reasonable customers just say 'yes thanks' or enquire about something they are not sure of.

Wbdn28 · 23/07/2013 12:03

I agree with SaucyJack. I don't like being approached by sales assistants as I prefer to just choose my shopping in peace. However it's probably not their decision, as it's most likely the manager/head office that have decided they have to approach you. A bit like when banks decree that all their staff have to offer you new accounts etc. every time you're at a desk.

StuntGirl · 23/07/2013 12:04

i have never been rude to a cafe worker ever, where does it say that? in fact i am unfailingly polite.

You're not unfailingly polite to shop assistants though are you? Why not model some good behaviour to your charges? I'm sure you'd expect the same courtesy while you're doing your job.

Original poster
burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 12:04

well obviously that is what i do, usualsuspect, being a reasonable person in real life.

OP posts:
Flobbadobs · 23/07/2013 12:05

I used to work with a woman from NZ who said 'no worries' all the time, it's catching! 12 years on and I still say it to everyone.. Grin
It's pretty soul destroying to work in customer services in any situation, 'yes please' sounds short and shirty, 'may I help you' offends someone, 'you ok there' offends someone else and having to ask if they need stamps/random chocolate bars at the till gets you a good slagging off or verbal abuse.
The temptation to say 'wtf do you want' must be pretty tempting at times...
And fwiw the phrase 'can I get' from a customer annoys me when I hear it while stood in line.

Original poster
burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 12:05

yes i am v polite stuntgirl in fact.

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 23/07/2013 12:06

Usual, in my relative's case, he was starving, queuing and ready to order. He was baffled that the server ignored him after her opening pleasantry.

He was just being polite by responding to her asking after his health before moving on to take his order, or so he thought!

Flobbadobs · 23/07/2013 12:07

I once started a mini riot while working behind a busy Friday night bar...
Came on shift at the time when we were 3 deep all the way round, without really thinking about it I shouted 'who's next please'...
Oops Grin

boxoftricks · 23/07/2013 12:09

Kitty do you work for Clarks?? I went into one of their shops the other day and was asked SEVEN times in about 3 minutes by different sales assistants. I only circled one shoe stand...

MalcolmTuckersMum · 23/07/2013 12:09

i gave you a chance to vent some of your excess bile malcolm, for that you should be grateful cos you seem to have a lot of it

Yes. Thanks for your witty and insightful analysis of my current condition. I have checked carefully and nowhere can I find where I have started a thread moaning and whinging about being politely addressed in a shop. Perhaps all that excess bile is making me a touch blind. Or perhaps you have made a mistake and it is not I that is suffering from a bilious attack.

I do hope YOU have a nice day and that nobody impinges on your sensitive soul by being, you know, civil to you.

lottiegarbanzo · 23/07/2013 12:10

It's just a classic case of Brits using colloquial terms unthinkingly, failing to recognise this makes them incomprehensible to people who don't share exactly their cultural background. This is why Brits are often worse than speakers of English as a second language at communicating clearly, in English, to an international audience.

ginhag · 23/07/2013 12:10

Gosh you sound friendly OP

StuntGirl · 23/07/2013 12:13

Sorry but you're not.

i often say 'fine thanks and are you all right there too?' which makes them a bit Hmm

When you respond this way you are being facetious, because you know exactly what the staff members are asking, and are giving a 'difficult' answer out of spite. The actual v.polite answer if you don't require any help would be a simple "Yes thank you".

Original poster
burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 12:16

but if i am standing at a bar and reply 'yes thank you' then??? they walk off !
actually i have only said that once or twice as i know it does sound a bit arsey.

OP posts:
Original poster
burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 12:16

and there is no need to apologise to me sweetie xx

OP posts: