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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate it when cafe workers and shop assistants say....

142 replies

burberryqueen · 23/07/2013 10:57

"are you all right there?" when they mean 'can I help you?'
it makes me feel like shouting 'DON'T I LOOK ALRIGHT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING YOU FUCKWIT? ARE YOU SUGGESTING I LOOK WEIRD OR SOMETHING?'
but of course i don't ......(or else they could have a point!
i often say 'fine thanks and are you all right there too?' which makes them a bit Hmm
another one that grates a bit is for example they put a coffee in front of you and you say 'thank you' and they say NO WORRIES!!!
GRRRRRRRR!!!

OP posts:
SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 23/07/2013 12:50

Id not be worrying about what the do say TBH! Its what they're thinking which would make your hair curl!

Norfolknway · 23/07/2013 12:54

YABU and a total misery.

Unfortunately, so am I. I work in a shop at the moment and I'm 6. 1/2 month pregnant. I am tired, ratty and if you came in my shop there would be a Mexican stand-off of miserableness.

I'm normally a delight

Wbdn28 · 23/07/2013 13:14

Yes, "how are you?" is an over-familiar question to someone you've never met. I'd never ask a person I didn't know how they were. But it's a nice question if you know the person, of course.

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 13:22

Which century do you live in,Wbdn28?

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 13:24

So if someone looked like they they needed some help
, You wouldn't ask them if they were ok?

KittyLane1 · 23/07/2013 13:27

boxoftricks yes I DO work in Clarks. We have god awful guidelines about customer service, its very American. We are not supposed to ask how do those shoes feel, we are supposed to ask how you feel in those shoes.

We have to keep to a logbook about out sales and how many customers we have served and why they did or didn't get a sale. We are plauged by mystery shoppers and area managers popping in.

We MUST offer the customer a second pair of shoes and a handbag, even if the customer doesn't want it.

We even have company HAND SIGNALS to alert colleagues of a potential sale! I can assure you that it wasnt shop workers who thought that one up.

fluckered · 23/07/2013 13:27

I would rather a casual "are ye alright there" than a rigid forced" May I help you". I feel more at ease. but then again that opinion is formed from giving this more thought than I ever dreamed I would. Christ on a bike, retail staff are either too rude and now have the cheek to ask someone they don't personally know "how are you?". ugh!

and saying "fine thanks and are you alright there too?" is just rude!!

peggotty · 23/07/2013 13:29

Jesus. What a snippy thread! I love it Grin

fluckered · 23/07/2013 13:29

I do feel sorry for staff of Claire's Accessories ... they must be drilled to approach every customer with a basket and explain in great detail about the 3 for 2 offers or the sale on ONE DIRECTION hair bands or something. I recently popped in for cheap silver studs. I just stood there and listened as I felt bad for her ... she was only young and I could see her cheeks starting to burn up as a supervisor at the till watched over her explaining this to me.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 23/07/2013 13:35

I quite like 'Are you all right there?' It gives you the option to be nice and say 'Yes, thanks' when you mean 'BUGGER OFF AND LET ME BROWSE'.

'Can I help you?' just forces you to say 'No' or 'No, I'm OK thanks'.

I like 'No worries' and I say it sometimes too even though I'm not Antipodean.

I also like the other Australianism 'Hi/Hey, how ya going?'

marciaoverstrand · 23/07/2013 13:47

God kitty I worked for Clarks a good few years ago and it was bad enough then!

Trying to sell bloody shoe polish, inner soles etc, which people could get cheaper in Wilkinsons or somewhere!

Hated pressured selling, people having a go at you for asking, not realizing you would get into trouble if you didn't.

LoverOfTheLight · 23/07/2013 13:56

I'd rather shops assistants ask. What really annoys me is not being able to find a member of staff to help. DW Sports I'm looking at you. Trying to buy my dc new trainers, there was no one around for 10 minutes, I had to go to the checkout to get someone only to be told he couldn't help. Another 10 mins later finally a less than enthusiastic assistant appears, finds the trainers in the stockroom. I got home to find one trainer had no lace!

Sorry went a bit off topic there. What I'm saying is it's not hard to say "I'm fine thank you, just looking for now" Job done.

GW297 · 23/07/2013 13:56

I hate it in cafe queues too. It seems to be happening more and more. At our gym it's always 'y'alright' instead of 'how may I help you?' and at the cinema when there's a massive queue you get, 'Is anyone waiting?!!!'

Wbdn28 · 23/07/2013 13:56

So if someone looked like they they needed some help
, You wouldn't ask them if they were ok?

That's not what I said at all! "Can I help you?" or "Would you like any help at all?" are absolutely fine Smile

"How are you?" is too nosy when there are other alternatives (and yes that still applies in this century!!)

StuntGirl · 23/07/2013 14:02

They're not asking for a play by play of your day and your mood love. Just say "Fine thanks" or ask them a question if you do need help. Simples.

boxoftricks · 23/07/2013 14:08

Kitty ooooh god that was a good guess then!! I literally circled the size 6 sale shoe rail, they MUST have seen each other ask me, and I just got so irritated I walked out. I run a pub. I KNOW about customer service. I write bloody training shorts on it. However, after being asked three times, if I want help, I'll ask for it! I really wanted to ask for the manager and say why I left! I know it's not the assistants fault, but it was so irritating!
Tell me about the hand signals....

StuntGirl · 23/07/2013 14:15

I too am intrigued by the hand signals. I almost want to go into a Clarks now just to see if I can spot staff using them!

ginhag · 23/07/2013 14:24

'Are you alright there?' = 'I don't want to hassle you if you don't want to be hassled, I am not about to do high-pressure sales and am happy to leave you alone if you are, indeed 'alright there'. But I am being FRIENDLY and not ignoring you as you may possibly want help but I'm scared of customers jumping down my throat for hassling them when I genuinely just want to know if they are happy just having a mooch about.'

usualsuspect · 23/07/2013 14:27

Thank you, ginhag.

Exactly that

ginhag · 23/07/2013 14:27

See what I like is when people in shops/cafes/pubs/the world actually say what comes naturally to them in a friendly fashion, rather than following a script.

ginhag · 23/07/2013 14:27

's alright usual.

ginhag · 23/07/2013 14:30

Now. Lets talk about CUSTOMERS talking to shop assistants and see if they ever say anything as terrible as 'are you alright there...'

Hmm I was called an anorexic skinny bitch once, to my face, and I had to smile or lose my job. hmmm I wonder if that is nearly as offensive...

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 23/07/2013 14:36

I stand on my stall and say "good morning" to anyone who shows an interest. I think that's nice and polite. 97% of people will reply with "no thanks" or "just looking". I personally think that THAT is pig fucking ignorant! How's that?

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 23/07/2013 14:36

I stand on my stall and say "good morning" to anyone who shows an interest. I think that's nice and polite. 97% of people will reply with "no thanks" or "just looking". I personally think that THAT is pig fucking ignorant! How's that?

SleepyFish · 23/07/2013 14:36

Well I use all the terms you mentioned OP. It's just what comes naturally to me. Perhaps you should just stay home and make your own coffee/sandwiches.
Oh and if you're on your mobile be warned, I will not serve you.
And maybe swap your espresso for camomile tea.