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AIBU?

To be hurt by dh's attitude?

31 replies

Ashoething · 22/07/2013 16:37

Dh skived off work early.he has done nowt except have a v long nap and now watching a crap film he has seen before.I suggest a bit of afternoon nookie seeing as kids are out.He tells me-sorry tmi-that he has already masturbated and whats for dinner! I am incredibly angry and upset.We havent dtd in 2.months and I feel he treats me like his mother.Am I bu to be upset?

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Ashoething · 22/07/2013 19:34

Yes we are married and have dcs.But I now if I did split with him he would be an arse about it. He works and I am a sahm with no access to money. Yes I know this is ridiculous but it has gone on for so long now I don't know how to change it. I just bury my head in the sand.

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MissStrawberry · 22/07/2013 19:34

You might not make the same mistake your parents did but you are making a hell of one now.

No wonder he won't move out, he knows you don't mean it and won't make him.

Your life is too long - hopefully - to waste it on a relationship that doesn't work for you anymore.

Tough decisions time - separate and make a new life for yourself or sta as you are and stop moaning about it.

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Fairenuff · 22/07/2013 19:37

I'm curious - did you make his dinner?

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Ashoething · 22/07/2013 19:42

Yes I made the dinner I know I sound like a doormat but Im really not-my friends always talk of me being super confident and feisty! HA! Its just that I feel worn down by years of this-years of being made to feel grateful for him being the breadwinner. Years of believing I was lazy because I chose to stay at home.

I do feel so sad when I think of the years stretching ahead like this but seem to lack the will to actually change it. Pathetic.

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MissStrawberry · 22/07/2013 19:46

You probably are super confident and feisty with people who allow you to be.

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Fairenuff · 22/07/2013 19:55

Yes I made the dinner

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. You have much to learn my friend

Right. Make a change, starting right now. Stop allowing him to treat you like this. You know, sex isn't all about orgasm. Just because he's had a wank doesn't mean he can't give you some attention.

I think if you work on the other areas in your relationship, you might be able to rebuild the intimacy, if you want to.

Decide where your boundaries lie. What do you want out of this relationship. Leave sex out of it for now and have a talk with him about your expectations.

Tell him that things are going to change. Spell it out. And if he doesn't put in the effort, you can call it a day.