To feel a bit hurt when friends who are not fat moan about their weight in front of me?

[VulvaVoom]

Over the past week, I've had 2 close friends moaning about how they need to lose weight. One is about 5ft 8ins tall and weighs around 8.5 stone, the other similar height around 10.5 stone.

They both look fine and if you saw them, you would think what a lovely slim (enviable) figure the first one has and the second one looks shapely but not 'fat' at all and looked pretty good in her chinos and tight T shirt the other day.

Clearly they can see what I look like (about 2.5 stone over weight at 5ft 2ins, not good) so I feel ever so slightly insulted when they moan and say they look horrible. Of course my (expected) response to this is 'You don't need to lose anything' and 'You look great' through gritted teeth And then if I say something along the lines of needing to lose weight myself they do the patronising 'Oh but you look lovely!'

Sorry I'm feeling terrible about it today and guess IABU really. Have started 5:2, so onwards and upwards

I have a friend who hates her weight but to me she looks beautiful but i know she is insecure so id never talk about weight in front of her.if she talks to me about her diet i praise her and take an interest but in the way that "and YOU will feel better in yourself" because at the end of the day i can tell her shes gorgeous(because she is)until im blue in the face but she isnt happy with herself so until she is it doesnt make a difference

I can relate. I am overweight and on more than one occasion have been in the company of (what I consider) slim people who have gone on and on about their weight, what they eat, diets, diet supplements etc etc.
I will not be drawn into the conversation as my weight issues are no one elses business and I find the subject incredibly boring.
I guess they interpret my silence as it being a sensitive subject, perhaps they are right, but I do come away thinking it insensitive of them to have such conversations in front of someone overweight.
I have concluded, though, that as they are discussing their weight issues they are not thinking beyond themselves and have no clue to anyone elses perception of the topic - ie, they are being self centered.

I have a friend who does this. She's tiny, literally straight up and down, but does have a tendency to refer to her "big fat arse". I picked her up on it once in a joky way and said that if she thought her arse was big she must think mine was ginormous. She looked a bit mortified as she hadn't meant to offend (not that she had).

I agree with many. I am 5 2, 10 stone 7 (have lost 11 pounds, but want to lose at least 11 more) and I moan about my weight, because I am currently dieting, and have self esteem issues. I have a good friend who is a lot larger than I, and we moan together, and I think it is because we have the same feelings, and are going through the same struggles despite our relative difference in sizes and so we understand each other. Personally, I think she looks great... she is luscious. I am not inherently criticising her when I moan about me, and I am possibly 4-5 stone lighter.

I am not explaining well, but I very much doubt your friends are thinking about your weight when they moan about theirs.

I think YABU. Just because someone in the world maybe heavier than me doesn't mean I don't think I need to lose weight. Its not different than saying just because someone somewhere is going through a mammoth problem, your smaller problem does not matter!

I am extremely critical of myself, my DH calls it phantom fat as I see every little imperfection and the more weight I lose or the more toned I am in one area to me it makes other areas look worse IMO.

I know I am probably slimmer/more toned than most of my friends but I genuinely think they look perfectly fine to me, I just am not happy with myself. I probably talk about/worry about my weight more than any of them and work hard exercising etc to look better but they know I have issues so are quite to me about it, I really hope they do not feel I am criticising them in any way.

Just to clarify, I am not A or B!

I get what you mean but I'm with MrsMelons

My friends, I'm sure, understand that I have some 'issues' (am currently about 1 stone overweight but have been skinny in the past & still felt 'fat').

I probably should be careful in company of people that I know less well, had someone comment "its ok for skinny minnies" when I mentioned something about healthy eating in the past.

I'm sure your friends aren't judging you, and are not meaning to make you feel worse.