AIBU to say no to a sleepover?

[CeliaFate]

I can't stand them. But they seem to be the thing to do every birthday. Dd wants 4 friends to stay over for her birthday. They're going for a meal then the cinema. I think that's enough and would like parents to pick up from cinema.

All of dd's friends have them, would IBU to say no? I feel like a mean mother, but really can't stand the mess, fuss, noise, lack of sleep, disruption.
She's 13.

I had a downstairs only rule. all the lads would bring sleeping bags, we would put the sofa bed mattress on the floor and hurl in a few cushions and pillows. pile a load of food sweets and drinks in their direction shut the door and leave them to it. did have to give them a reminder we were trying to sleep once or twice, especially when they were practcing breakdance moves on the kitchen floor at 3am but on the whole they were fine. they are less in demand now they are older but of course we now face the girlfriend scenario and the out all night at a party getting drunk stuff. ahh every age has its challenges but they still fondly remember the great parties they had as younger kids, and know their friends are always welcome.

Surely at 13 they will pretty much entertain themselves. For brekkie could you get croissants, pain au chocolat etc... which is easier than messing about with bacon butties etc...

I think they are important. Mine are older teenagers and sometimes I think we are running a B&B. It can be a pain but I prefer them to be comfortable coming here because I know where they are.Not everyones cup of tea I realise but I have a really good relationship with my son and his friends and that is so important when they are teenagers. We've even got to the point where lads stay when my son is away!

I'm keeping an eye out for a tent so my dd can have hers in the garden. We have four kids and a fairly small house so if dd wants a sleepover she would have to commandeer the lounge and we would have to go upstairs for the evening. And there is no way anyone is sleeping on our sofas. It is hard when you don't have much space, if dd had room in her bedroom I'd be far happier with it. But then dh is a very light sleeper and would be fuming if there was noise all night!

God, you want to encourage sleepovers all you can. At least if they are keeping you awake at 2am, you know where they are at 2am. Be careful what you wish for. It is way, way less trouble to become the hosting family of choice than it is to go hunting round the pubs and nightclubs for them. You also get a bloody good look at who their friends are and what they are like.

Lower your standards until they hit the floor, let them eat on the furniture and stay up all night. But the rules are: you have to get some sleep, so they STFU from midnight, no alcohol until they are 15 and even then absolutely no spirits, ever, and they clear up next day because others need to use that space. Be the hostess with the mostest and they will want to please you.

DS1 still has sleepovers at 21 with his mates from age 11 and it has been a very positive thing, all his mates are fond of me, as I was a big part of their childhood and mopped up much of their early vomit.

I hate either of mine having a sleepover! Just can't stand the mess and noise! The kids have no respect for your home!

I found both Ds's sets of friends had more respect for our home than ds's ever did!

Well YANBU to not want them all jumping on your bed!! Just lay down some ground rules.