Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think MNers need to temper their advice a little?

47 replies

bookforgoddaughter · 21/07/2013 17:58

I love a good LTB thread and I think we all know the advice is a often a little premature. However, last night a justifiably pissed off OP was being encouraged to call the police about her noisy neighbours. I sympathise with her but is this not a little extreme? Glad she did not act on advice. Flame away!

OP posts:
MrsPresley · 21/07/2013 18:08

Well I didn't see the thread but I suppose it all depends what the noise was, how loud and how long it was going on for, oh and had she spoken to the neighbours.

A few years ago my downstairs neighbour was watching Star Wars then Jurassic Park, with surround sound. It was hell for me. It sounded like the bloody dinosaurs were sitting next to me. I went to his door, banged for ages, kicked his door and still got no answer Angry

Eventually I phoned the police, although I think it's EH now and had to shout down the phone, even the woman at the other end was shocked by how loud it was.

The police actually had to phone him, because he couldn't even hear them knocking and banging.

Could you link to the thread so I can have a read please? Grin because I can't say if you are being U or not

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 21/07/2013 18:14

advice is exactly that.
nobody is under any obligation to follow it and youd have to be fairly stupid to do something for no other reason than someone on the internet told you to.
personal responsibility.
thats key here.
i can tell you to throw off all your clothes and run down the high street but you choose whether to do it or whether to say what? are you off your rocker? im not doing that.
all that is offered here is opinions. not orders.

BrandiBroke · 21/07/2013 18:16

I don't know which thread you're talking about but I do think sometimes the advice on here is a little 'strong.' Under a n/c I complained about something my husband had done and was told over and over again what a twat he was, how horrible he was etc and that I should LTB. My husband is a lovely guy and all the MNers were seeing was a tiny snippet of our lives at a time I was annoyed with him. I can't even remember what he'd done now but he hadn't hit me or cheated on me or anything. I'm really glad I didn't throw my marriage away on some strangers' advice.

However, having said it can be very useful to get advice from outsiders to a situation.

BrandiBroke · 21/07/2013 18:17

having said that*

Original poster
bookforgoddaughter · 21/07/2013 18:22

Can someone tell me how to link?

OP posts:
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 21/07/2013 18:25

scroll down. theres instructions. its all the http [[ stuff.

MrsPresley · 21/07/2013 18:28

Ok, if it was the hot tub thread, then I think the advice to call the police was ok.

The OP on that thread was threatened because she complained, and as far as I can see no one advised her call the police until she was threatened (I only had a quick read though).

Only the OP would be able to say if it was worth calling the police for that because she was the one that was there. Personally if I went to a neighbour's door and someone threatened to "kick my head in", I might be tempted to phone the police but I would be able to judge whether the person really meant it and I was in danger or was it just talk because drink was involved, if you know what I mean.

Original poster
bookforgoddaughter · 21/07/2013 18:36

It was the hot tub thread. Thanks, MrsPresley. Phone won't let me link. It is called 'ask the neighbours to keep the noise down.'.

Hecsy, I agree it is just an opinion but I was surprised how much 'phone the police' advice there was. Surely always a last resort with neighbours? Consequences could be years of ill feeling.

Sorry I cannot link. appreciate it makes my post a tad frustrating.

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 21/07/2013 18:41

Can you not make yer point on t'thread in question? TAAF frowned on innit.

Original poster
bookforgoddaughter · 21/07/2013 18:48

I did make the point. A few others did too. I have only made a more general point as I think it goes wider than that one thread.

OP posts:
EduCated · 21/07/2013 18:56

Um, having just looked at the thread, the police are only mentioned after a friend of said neighbour threatened to kick the OP's head in Confused

Hardly over the top advice, really.

Lj8893 · 21/07/2013 18:57

I read that thread. I think if I had been threatened when just making a polite request I would have seriously thought about phoning the non emergency police line.

EduCated · 21/07/2013 19:01

OP did you actually read that thread properly?! I'm seriously baffled. And us some up'thread said, it's only advice, people can choose to take it as they wish.

Original poster
bookforgoddaughter · 21/07/2013 19:17

I am obviously in the minority here! The friend of neighbour who made the threat was clearly in the wrong but I would still not.think.of phoning police. Do.people really phone the police in these circumstances? I will go back to lurking....

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 21/07/2013 19:19

Phone the police seems to be a standard reply on MN.

Lj8893 · 21/07/2013 19:20

Depend on the situation but if I felt threatened, then yes of course I would phone the police, I wouldn't even expect them to do anything but at least it would be on file just in case the threat followed through.

usualsuspect · 21/07/2013 19:21

Fwiw I agree with you ,OP.

I'm often amazed at all the police phoning advice on MN.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 21/07/2013 19:21

why on earth go back to lurking? your opinion is as valid as anyone elses. there's no party line to follow on MN regardless what the bitter ones will tell you Grin

a range of opinions is always needed for balance.

scottishmummy · 21/07/2013 19:23

Didn't see thread,but well mn advice can range from spot on to hysterical histrionics

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 21/07/2013 19:23

and yes. if someone had threatened to kick my head in and i truly believed they meant to do it i would certainly call the police.
i wouldnt be calling them on my neighbour but on the individual who was threatening to hurt me.

CheungFun · 21/07/2013 19:25

Hmm.. I didn't read the thread, but I have had noisy neighbours in the past and I was getting to the stage where I was ready to complain officially about them, so not sure people were overreacting to tell op to phone the police!

EduCated · 21/07/2013 19:31

Without being there I don't know if I would phone the police or not, I don't know how threatening the situation was and how much the fiend was having to be held back.

But I don't think it was OTT for posters to point that out as an option.

Justforlaughs · 21/07/2013 19:49

I didn't read that particular thread, but in general I agree with you OP. Lots of occasions when OPs are told to LTB or phone the police or even just end a long standing friendship over an incident that next year you won't even remember. Some advice is carefully considered, some is given from a very personal point of view and some is pretty obviously just a wind up, but it's down to the OP whether they act on that advice or not.

Original poster
bookforgoddaughter · 21/07/2013 19:50

Hecsy, I retract. I will not lurk.

OP posts:
ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 21/07/2013 19:55

glad to hear it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread