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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my husband is an arse

59 replies

mrsslc · 21/07/2013 12:13

Today is my birthday. No card, no happy birthday, no lie in. NOTHING. He however has stayed in bed while I got up with the kids and did everything as usual. AIBU to ignore him all day? The kids said happy birthday as soon as they got up. Least some people in my house care Hmm

OP posts:
SisterMatic · 21/07/2013 13:37

Wishing you a lovely day on your birthday, hopefully he will have a surprise planned for you tonight!

If not, we will throw a party on here! Wine

Inertia · 21/07/2013 13:42

Happy birthday :)

Yes he is an arse.

Make sure you do nothing for his birthday beyond sending the children in for a very early morning rendition of "Happy Birthday" until he gets up. Then let them make him breakfast- even better if they are small and therefore not allowed to handle hot things- cold coffee and bread with marmalade on should do it ...

weebarra · 21/07/2013 13:46

Yes, he is an arse. Even if you don't make a big deal about birthdays, the least you can expect is a "happy birthday" and a lie in.

ReginaPhilangie · 21/07/2013 13:49

YANBU, what an absolute arse. Shock

Happy Birthday Flowers I hope you enjoy your lunch with your parents.

squoosh · 21/07/2013 14:38

Happy Birthday!

He does sounds like an arse, can't stand people sleeping the day away. Is he depressed maybe?

Original poster
mrsslc · 21/07/2013 14:41

Thank you everyone just finished a lovely lunch and the kids are running round a big field having great fun.
No alcohol involved in yesterday's or today's lie ins. He never gets up with the kids, says he will get up with his grand kids!
Have exchanged the odd word to be civil, everyone else is definitely oblivious to my internal rage lol

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 21/07/2013 14:41

My friends brother always forgets her birthday. Nothing strange in that you may think. Except they are twins Grin

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 21/07/2013 14:42

He sounds like a prize knob. LTB.

Happy birthday!

squoosh · 21/07/2013 14:43

Never gets up with the kids? Definitely a knob.

lunar1 · 21/07/2013 14:45

Happy birthday.

Ledkr · 21/07/2013 14:45

Oh yes if course. He's ill or depressed.
How many times have I read that on here as an excuse for idiotic selfish behaviour from a bloke?
Bollox

storytopper · 21/07/2013 14:46

Happy birthday! Hope you enjoy the day with DCs and wider family anyway.

Justforlaughs · 21/07/2013 14:46

Never gets up with the kids, you really need to address that one! Maybe a bucket of cold water would do the trick! Wink

Original poster
mrsslc · 21/07/2013 15:22

Lol ledkr you read my mind.
He's just lazy and selfish there's no other words for it!
I often think of the bucket of water!
I'm a SAHM and he earns the money so that's his excuse for, well, everything. Although I mind my nephew 5 days a week and do volunteering weekly too. Grr im talking myself into getter madder with him nowConfused

OP posts:
TalkativeJim · 21/07/2013 15:23

Why don't you point out to him that after spending years demonstrating to his own kids that he can't be fucking bothered, they're quite likely to tell him where to go when he wants to play supergrandad to theirs?

Why don't you and the kids have a lovely day out on his birthday? Without him, of course.

pointythings · 21/07/2013 16:42

Happy birthday to you, and start planning revenge on the arse who is your 'D'H.

It isn't on.

My DH managed to forget my 30th, but he was deployed to a stressful place in the world at the time, and he was very, very, very, very apologetic and really made up for it. And never did it again. Which is why I am still married to him 15 years later. Yours on the other hand is just a lazy selfish knob.

DuchessFanny · 21/07/2013 16:48

Is he like this every year ? I'm a SAHM but treated on my birthday ( tbf everyone gets a bit of a fuss on their birthday in this house ) so ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY from us Flowers & Wine

Justforlaughs · 21/07/2013 16:53

I could cope with a DH that forgot/ didn't make a big deal about birthdays I have one myself but not with the consistent laziness and selfishness that appears to be the case with your DH. Frankly a bucket of water would be the least of his problems!

LadyMilfordHaven · 21/07/2013 16:56

i am always surprise what women put up with on mn. where is the cherishing or love here ? you are his skivvy at worst - flat mate at best.

I would be considering my marriage if I had such an UNKIND h

noddyholder · 21/07/2013 16:59

I agree. You need to ask yourselves how it got like this?

LadyMilfordHaven · 21/07/2013 17:00

How have you let him lie around? How are your kids going to behave when they are married?

How does he show you he loves you

YOu are some kind of slave to him

LittlePeaPod · 21/07/2013 17:03

Happy birthday.. I don't blame you for getting upset. Flowers Wine

sleepyhead1234 · 21/07/2013 17:11

Happy birthday. Know exactly how u feel. It was my birthday Friday and DH knew, i also got nothing at all not even a happy birthday. After being told by our 6 yr old DD it was my birthday Dh shrugged and said ah well thought it was tomorrow!!

Dh continued he mean streak all morning and was vile when i reminded him my best friends were taking me for celebration drinks that evening. DH has now fallen out with my family and really upset me still feel very hurt and he says what have i done!! GRRRRR

noddyholder · 21/07/2013 17:25

What do you do when its his birthday? Don't you think about each other in advance?

jeanmiguelfangio · 21/07/2013 17:27

Happy birthday -I'm not mentioning him, it's your day! Thanks

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