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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Toby Young has his own self to blame for his kids not having the childhood he had.

55 replies

MrButtercat · 21/07/2013 08:46

In ref to Daily Fail Toby Young essay on the childhood his kids won't have.

In a nutshell Toby you give them too much screen time and spend too much money on them.Many kids of broke, sensible parents will have the childhood you describe.

My dc are the kids of an software coder if they can get by with an hour of screen time a day and amuse themselves for the rest of the day without needing £££££ sent on them any kid can.

My kids(twin boys 9,9 and dd 8) have been to Legoland once as we simply don't have the money for petrol to drive there let alone the entrance fee- they survive.We took sandwiches as the food you describe is waaaay out of our budget(and foul I'm sure).

They don't stamp their feet for expensive days out or loll about doing nothing during the holidays.Yes we're lucky to live in Devon(in a busy market town with the same traffic risks as everybody else) however my kids amuse themselves on a budget of zero because they have to.They love cubs and their summer will be an extension of that.Fire making in the drive using magnifying glasses,hours of hop scotch,tennis matches over a chalk line,reading,water pistol fights,bike riding up and down their road,local park,pop up tent pretend camping,playing with the mountains of boards games and craft stuff we have etc,etc.

Days out will be the beach with sandwiches,free bike rides,woods,streams and moor rambles.

Yes w're lucky however I reserve my sympathy for the parents of kids stuck in apartment blocks on a zero budget or those that have to work on a low budget not the parents of spoilt middle class kids who have the money and time to take their kids to Kenya.

Buy a lock for your screen gadgets,get library cards (your kids will read more when bored)and stainless steel water bottles so you never need buy expensive plastic bottles of drink again.

You are the organ grinder of your dc's childhood and having an awful lot more cash and facilities than the maj of parents are perfectly well placed to give your kids the childhood they desire.

OP posts:
Justforlaughs · 21/07/2013 10:50

I do tend to spend a lot during the school holidays but that is MY choice and I have no intention of complaining about it. My own children will also spend hours in the garden, at the park, on cycle rides and until a week ago would have added - out with friends. Now I'm not so sure after finding out that the 15 yo, going to play football etc with a rucksack on his back for his spare clothes (for when he falls in the stream), his deodrant and some food has instead been smoking cannabis with the same friends who have told their own parents the same thing. Sad I also thought he was very sensible, and while I don't mean to imply that YOUR teenagers aren't the sensible people you thought they were, keep and open mind about it.

eddiemairswife · 21/07/2013 11:01

Toby Young has 4 Primary aged children and I assume a garden; he can put their electronic devices away and let them play outside and use their imagination. All good preparation for when they go to the super-duper secondary school that Daddy has founded especially for them!

gordyslovesheep · 21/07/2013 11:15

Oh I did read it - I actually ventured over to the fail to do so - and I agree OP

You don't need to send your kids to Kenya for a term of schooling to get them enjoying mud pies and nature ffs - just turn off the telly and kick em out doors Grin

I don't do theme parks - too expensive - I do look for free stuff going on locally

We go camping a lot and they get lots of adventure building dens with mates etc

I am a lazy parent - letting them have water fights outside with buckets - yes they have done that several times this month Toby, means they are not around my feet moaning!

My oldest two play out with mates unsupervised - they make dens and have secret clubs

we do a lot of walking in local parks etc because it's free

Lidl do 6 Mivvies for 99p - so that's the ice cream sorted

Parents have a choice - it doesn't have to be costly and it doesn't always have to be screen based

Helenagrace · 21/07/2013 11:27

His children are "products of the digital age" erm more like products of indulgent parenting.

It's the shrugging of shoulders and the "well it's society what can you do?" tone that's particularly annoying.

Who's the parent here?

noblegiraffe · 21/07/2013 11:30

If he's complaining about the cost of Legoland, he could have cut out two vouchers from the Rice Krispies and packed a picnic, no?

Truth is, he is perfectly able to afford £500 to go to Legoland but whinging about the cost suits his self-pitying article and the DM readership more.

SavoyCabbage · 21/07/2013 11:32

I haven't read it either but my 9 year old dd had a sleepover on Friday night and when I got up they had built a massive den with chairs and blankets.

Later in the day she ripped her jeans climbing a tree.

50shadesofvomit · 21/07/2013 11:36

What an idiot.

I don't know any primary school children (or secondary school children) who don't enjoy water fights in the heat. I bet that if his boys came round here for a match with my 3, they'd end up shrieking with delight. The same thing would happen if his kids came round to slide on wet tarpaulin as a water slide. He's in Lindon ffs. I took my 3 to the Primcess Diana fountain last week and there were like a 100 children having a blast.

This summer my daughter and her friends have endlessly practiced cartwheels and handstands. They all know how to make daisy chains and are free to dip into the lollies and ice creams in the freezer. 99p for 4 cornettos etc.
TY needs to start thinking like everyone else. Find out what free /cheap events are available locally, invite school friends round and visit somewhere like Hawkins Bazaar with classic toys that have proven to enthrall generations of children rather than equate good parenting with spending £500 at Legoland.

TheCrackFox · 21/07/2013 11:51

He really does talk out if his arse.

My DCs (in Scotland so we have already had 3 weeks off school) have had water fights, slept in a tent in the garden, been out all day with their friends, park, library, made their own ice follies and slush puppies, picnics in the garden.

We always take water out with us.

I have never been to Lego land (too far away and too expensive).

He could give his children the childhood he wants them to have but it would mean getting off his backside.

Lazyjaney · 21/07/2013 11:54

I hadn?t realised how much they were missing out until I took them to Kenya at the beginning of the year

Quite, he should have been taking them to Disneyland. Everybody knows that.

Says it all, really. Man is a fool.

50shadesofvomit · 21/07/2013 11:55

Just looking at his pic from the 70s... It's not v hard to recreate that in 2013?

yamsareyammy · 21/07/2013 11:58

Good thread.
Toby needs to read it!

Helenagrace · 21/07/2013 12:00

Someone should tweet him a link to it. He's got people tweeting him agreeing with his article.

JCDenton · 21/07/2013 12:01

I don't have a lot of sympathy for his article, I don't think I've ever seen as many kids making noise and having fun as in the last two weeks, and that's just in free parks and by Lake Windermere for the cost of a picnic.

But no, Toby, it's not your fault, it's those nasty video games and DVDs. There was an abundance of home entertainment in the mid-90s when I was young and even a not-very-outdoorsy kid like me I still had great summers doing all sorts.

HollyBerryBush · 21/07/2013 12:04

Surely at 17/18 they earn their own money & do their own thing?

Err they are at school/college. Well to be fair the 17yo is in The Gambia on a school trip and he will spend most of the summer down the cricket nets when he gets back.

yamsareyammy · 21/07/2013 12:05

He has choices. He has forgotten to use them.

yamsareyammy · 21/07/2013 12:06

Weirdly, the 70's can be recreated to a degree.
Much harder to be in the 70's and try to do 2013!

yamsareyammy · 21/07/2013 12:07

oops. Feel a tv programme by Toby Young and his family coming on.

Hamwidgeandcheps · 21/07/2013 12:11

Yanbu. All the screens have an off switch. I have nagged dd1 out of the house today so I'm sure he could with his dc. We have has a magical summer so far at the beach and park and anywhere outdoors really.
I restrict screen time and I'm proud of it Grin

Hamwidgeandcheps · 21/07/2013 12:13

And that's put me right off legoland I've priced Disney for 3 nights at less! I would hate to spend that much and feel the pressure to enjoy it. Fuck that my dc wouldn't know the difference between that and a local place. He's a fool.

Original poster
MrButtercat · 21/07/2013 12:18

Yes here too.All 3 had their hour of screen time today.Normal moans at 5 min warning time but they know not to argue/strop or they don't have it the next day.

Dtwin 2 has been reading most of the morning.
Dtwin 1 and dd are cleaning out the hamster and gerbils having spent ages making a theme park style run for them.

This afternoon we'll be clearing out shite from their bedrooms in prep for the holidays,making dad a bday cake,making a teacher present alongside running in and outside with friends.

We did the beach yesterday.

It isn't hard if you have the resources which he obviously has.

OP posts:
flippinada · 21/07/2013 12:22

Well, my DS had lots of screen time during the holidays, although not to the exclusion of other stuff.

Also, what's wrong with lolling around doing nothing from time to time. Isn't that what holidays are for?

tobiasfunke · 21/07/2013 12:23

I was 7 in 1976 and played out most days with my best friend from 2 houses down. However if we'd been allowed we would have spent the whole summer inside with the curtins drawn watching old b & w films on the TV (as that was all that was on). We weren't allowed so we were turfed outside instead. So why doesn't Mr Young just do that.
Mind you we spent a vast quantity of time in my friends garage playing her Racey record and 'doing' discos. I'm not sure those are the sort of middle class idyllic memories he wants childhood to be made of. No tracking leopards there.

Original poster
MrButtercat · 21/07/2013 12:30

Yes wasn't that the summer Elvis died.I rem one summer watching Elvis films pretty much on a loop.

OP posts:
MurderOfGoths · 21/07/2013 12:35

If he's not going to encourage his kids to use his garden, then can I borrow it? I know DS would love to run around a garden rather than be stuck in a flat! I'm sure he wouldn't even notice while he's off in Kenya..

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 21/07/2013 12:48

He had choices, he just didn't take the right ones and act as the parent!

Personally, I'd happily kill to let my children have either side. The money to go to Legoland, and stuff like that, and the screens and the PS3 or whatever, and also to be able to go camping, go to the beach and stuff like that.

And I don't see WHY children have to be active and out there. I like lolling round, I don't see why my kids can't.