not to shout at or smack my children?

[FunnysInLaJardin]

My DC are 7 and 3 and i never feel the need to do the above. I see other parents shouting at their school age children and cannot understand why you would do that. They understand what you mean without any shouting. I have shouted and smacked in the past though, but as the DC get older I just do't get it

[YouTheCat]

I haven't read back.

Of course YABU . They should be beaten with huge sticks and shouted at until you are hoarse on a daily basis or until they are 21.

Do you regret your thread title?

[BreadNameBread]

Shouting isn't nessecerily bad though. Sometimes mean or nasty quiet threats are worse. My MIL used to 'parent' by being dissapointed in my DH when he was a child. He was terrified that she would be dissapointed.
My DCs are all very close in age and responded well to the occasional shout. I think mind games are worse.

[pigletmania]

Yabvu and judgy, hocking up those pants are we!

[Nanny0gg]

It's so easy when you have calm, biddable children, isn't it?

Shame they're not all like that.

[Waffling]

OP, how do you feel about red paint on garden fences?

[Roma2013]

As someone who has shouted in the past, OP, what do you now do instead to get your children to listen? Was there a transitional period where you shouted less and less or did you just decide one day not to shout anymore? What happens when they repeatedly ignore your requests? Don t you get angry having to say things over and over again. What do you think might happen when they reach puberty and start answering back, stomping off, slamming doors.. ie. the more challenging behaviours? Am seriously interested in your responses to these questions. I think different parenting styles are interesting

[thispunderfullife]

Any one who shouts smacks or has at ask 100 times for kids to do anything at any age would get a lot out of positive parenting course. I've had experience of triple p parenting programmed and it really helped.

[Dixiefish]

I don't understand why people say 'I don't understand' when they actually mean 'I don't approve'. No need to be coy!

[GobblersKnob]

Yeah, lets all stick to beating babies, that'll learn 'em not to fuck about when they're older eh?

Well done op.

[MaMattoo]

I am little bit lost with this one..
You, want a compliment for your change of behaviour, an award for putting this in AIBU, or the license to now judge anyone who does the whole shout and smack business?
Or all of the above?

Did you want me to say 'well done, yanbu at all, good that you changed your ways, look at all those terrible parents who yell, how horrid'..

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

Your post just makes me think there's a bit of a golden period of childhood between about 3 - or more like 4 for me, and 13. Enjpy it while you can !
Mine are now 14 and 11 ... teenagerdom beckons !

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Yabu for posting a stealth boast about your perfect parenting.

[FreudiansSlipper]

i used to be smug that i never shouted at ds

now i do because i think at times he needs to understand that he has annoyed me and i get angry. and i have lost patience with being so patient and what good did it really do

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

My kids know when they have angered or displeased me as yes I sometimes shout....better than living with the sulking of my mother with often little idea what I had done to cause her poor mood.
Well done OP you have clearly found the perfect way to parent YOUR children.

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

It probably did a lot of good Freudian, giving him a nice calm childhood.
Now he's older he can probably cope better with knowing you are seriously cross with him about something.

I just shouted at my two this morning in the car - hopefully they got some of the message that they should behave better in the car, not argue with one another when I'm giving them a lift somewhere, but some of it was probably just my own driving and other stress, so that's not so good to just pass it on to them

[FunnysInLaJardin]

well not sure what to make of the responses, just to say I have spent the day with my DC as am a WOHM and I still did't shout. I got cross but made myself not shout.

I think the turning point came about 1.5 years ago when I found myself shouting at them to get ready etc every morning before school and thought 'I don't need this' So I stopped shouting. I have also found that here are so many ways to communicate with my older son and because i can talk to him cannot imagine ever needing to smack him, tbh it would feel like a huge breach of trust.

Even when mine argue in the car as they do I just says STOP and they do. I must have very biddable and compliant children

[FunnysInLaJardin]

btw I don't feel smug at all, just happy that at the moment I don't have to shout. Who knows come the teens!

[FunnysInLaJardin]

and no Dixie not I disapprove, I really really don't understand why you would shout at an older child and not just talk to them

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Well OP I'm not sure whether it was your title or your initial post but it came across as smug.

I think that given your latest post in which you've said that you made a conscious decision to change your behaviour then you may not deserve the sarcasm I responded with. I do think you would have been better off posting this in chat under a different title though.

[FunnysInLaJardin]

nevermind Alis I am AIBU hardy

[Alisvolatpropiis]

No harm done then

[Toadinthehole]

"I don't smack my children" = "I haven't smacked my children this month."

[WorraLiberty]

and no Dixie not I disapprove, I really really don't understand why you would shout at an older child and not just talk to them

Ahhh spoken like a true parent of non teenage children

Please save this thread so you can laugh and cringe at it in equal measures, in a few years time.

Thanks

[monkeynuts123]

and your point is what exactly?

[WaitMonkey]

What a wonderful mother you sound ? At what age did you stop hitting your babies ?