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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bit miffed with DS Nursery

45 replies

xmarksaspot · 18/07/2013 22:12

My DS leaves an independent nursery at the end of the month to go to school nursery.

Its a tiny nursery (18 places 2-5yo) has been fantastic and my oldest son went for 3 years the month he went to school my DS2 started. I have therefore paid the nursery every month since October 2007. I work 3 days a week, a rough estimate of what we have spent is between 35k and 40k.

Next week they are taking the children who are leaving out for the day - not in one of DS2 normal nursery days. They have told me I can either change the day he goes next week (cant change working week any way its school hols so have DS1 that day) or pay for an extra day (more than £50)

I have had to say DS2 cant go I feel like they are being mean and am going to email the owner to let her know I wont be recommending the nursery to anyone in the future

I thought she might just let him go on the trip??? Am IBU????

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 18/07/2013 22:16

Sorry I think you are a bit. You're effectively asking for a free day.
I know when ds left they had a party and invited all the children but I think if it wasnt their normal day, parents were expected to stay otherwise it would wreck ratios

xmarksaspot · 18/07/2013 22:17

Even after 6 years as a customer ??

OP posts:
thispunderfullife · 18/07/2013 22:19

Even then...

LilacPeony · 18/07/2013 22:19

I think what they are recommending is normal and fair. Ours did the same for a leaving party and i didn't think anything of it (although it was a lot cheaper as it was a morning only preschool.) If you've thought it was fantastic since 2007 it's a bit unfair to email and say you won't recommend it to anyone over this i think.

sukysue · 18/07/2013 22:20

Don't focus on the negative just think he has been going to ,in your words, a fantastic nursery. Shame to spoil your mindset over this one day. I would pay extra for him to go if it were me.

PoppyWearer · 18/07/2013 22:20

YANBU, I would also expect a bit of flexibility after such loyalty.

But sadly experienced similar at the nursery we used for DC1 (and continue to use). They organised a petting zoo to visit the day after DC1 left to start big school (school started the following week). Had never organised anything like it before (or since). No extra charge to parents. We have been customers there for five years. Five.

Was DC1 allowed to attend? No.

pizzaqueen · 18/07/2013 22:20

because they offered you to change your day that week I think yabu.

presumably it will cost them a lot in paying extra staff if they offer a free days childcare to everyone who doesn't usually sytend nursery on thsy day. you cant expect them to make a seperate arrangement for you just because your dc went there for three years.

StealthPolarBear · 18/07/2013 22:20

Well it would be a very nice gesture but ... if youd been to a restaurant once a week for 6y youd still expect to pay for your meals

badguider · 18/07/2013 22:20

after six years of 'fantastic' care you would really not recommend it to anybody based on this one day?
i think you're a bit mad... sorry.

Jinty64 · 18/07/2013 22:21

I'm afraid I think YABU. It would have been a nice gesture but they are a business. I have always had to change a day or pay if something has been happening on a different day. Worth a mention though - you never know.

Couldn't you or your dh take another day off that week and swap?

LilacPeony · 18/07/2013 22:22

But they are being flexible as they have offered for you to swap days. It isn't their fault that you can't do this and they have offered for you to pay for the extra day but you don't want to.

fuckwittery · 18/07/2013 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Icelollycraving · 18/07/2013 22:25

Yabu,they are offering you a swap so I think that's enough really. Please don't throw a strop with them,embarrassing all round!

alarkthatcouldpray · 18/07/2013 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BabyStone · 18/07/2013 22:28

Yup its all about ratios, if one child can go on a non nursery day for free then other parents will expect their child to be able to go too, wouldn't be fair for others

skittycat · 18/07/2013 22:29

Sorry but YABU.

If i'm honest, I think the idea of complaining about this just to get something free is disgusting, especially since they have provided 6 years worth of "fantastic" care for your DS's.

CloudsAndTrees · 18/07/2013 22:29

I think yabu.

Nurseries aren't a particularly profitable business, I think it's fair that you would be expected to pay for an additional day of childcare. They were flexible enough when they offered to swap your day.

You are putting an emotional attachment onto this trip because its something that would be special for your child, but a small business won't see it like that. They have absolutely no good reason to give you a free day, especially when the day you want will involve additional cost and work for them.

maja00 · 18/07/2013 22:29

Could you offer to go along and help out?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 18/07/2013 22:30

I agree that YABU. This happened to me and I never even considered asking for a free day. I just paid for DD to attend on that day.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 18/07/2013 22:31

And after ALL this time and a happy DS, you're going to mar the memory by complaining and saying you won't recommend them to anyone? Sorry but that's terrible and also a bit sad...it's tacky too.

xmarksaspot · 18/07/2013 22:34

thanks for the comments

Can't help have DS1 and he wouldn't be allowed
Can't pay extra DHAKA lost his job this month

I thought as a small business she might see the bigger picture (its a small village with a new nursery )

Clearly I am BUT

Angry
OP posts:
xmarksaspot · 18/07/2013 22:34

thanks for the comments

Can't help have DS1 and he wouldn't be allowed
Can't pay extra DHAKA lost his job this month

I thought as a small business she might see the bigger picture (its a small village with a new nursery )

Clearly I am BUT

Angry
OP posts:
HuwEdwards · 18/07/2013 22:34

Either stand by your opinion that it's unfair and don't let DS go (he won't bear a grudge) or pay up.

It's a business. I've done my shopping in Sainsbury's every week for 20-odd years, I don't expect them to ever give me a free shop.

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 18/07/2013 22:35

Maybe an extra child on the trip affects their staffing costs?

Maryann1975 · 18/07/2013 22:37

The nursery we used for ds did allow us to have an extra free day for this reason. And it was a whole free day and he only normally did the free 15 hours, so they were hardly making money of us. It was a nursery attached to a school, so maybe that makes a difference.

Clouds and trees, I disagree that nurseries aren't particularly profitable. The two in our town seem to be doing extremely well for the owners. The wealth may not be passed down to staff, but the owners are very much rolling in cash.

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