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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Showing elderly woman on commode on reality show - awful

63 replies

Trigglesx · 18/07/2013 21:21

The "We pay your benefits" programme is on, showing a woman that works as a carer. She's lifting this elderly woman (stroke victim) off a commode, identifying her by her first name, woman is fully on camera, so identifiable. Then carer is saying "oh wait, you're still weeing, name, let's sit you back down." and then "let's wipe you up." All on camera.

Where's the dignity for this poor elderly woman?

OP posts:

Original poster

Trigglesx · 18/07/2013 21:22

I guess my AIBU is AIBU to think they could have been a bit less intrusive to this elderly woman? Surely there are better ways of showing the carer's position.

OP posts:

Latara · 18/07/2013 21:23

Oh no, that sounds awful, can't believe that elderly woman gave informed consent to be shown like that?

kinkyfuckery · 18/07/2013 21:23

I'm assuming if she's been shown, she's agreed to it?

wewantyouasanewrecruit · 18/07/2013 21:26

Oh God. A new low in television. I'm not watching it but what you have just described sounds absolutely dreadful for the poor soul. It makes you wonder what people would be shocked by if this is okay.

How can you go about complaining on the EW's behalf? I'm sure someone will come along and say how.

Fairylea · 18/07/2013 21:28

I can see what you mean but if she has agreed to it maybe it would encourage someone else to do a care job having seen what the carers actually have to do?

Original poster

Trigglesx · 18/07/2013 21:28

Possibly, although she didn't seem horribly aware IMO. Perhaps her husband who was also present gave consent. But I was just cringing, as it seemed so humiliating. Showed her sitting on commode, being lifted and leaned, camera zoomed in towards the back of the commode as she was being wiped (although no actual skin shots, thank god). And then the programme's identified "scrounger" grimacing and smirking in a bemused "no way would I do this job" sort of way.

OP posts:

Original poster

Trigglesx · 18/07/2013 21:29

It was only showing the carer's job as one of the "working people" was a carer. She went to several patients during the day. Surely there were other care duties they could have filmed. No dignity at all. Just disgusted.

OP posts:

AWarmFuzzyFuture · 18/07/2013 21:31

and

OhMerGerd · 18/07/2013 21:31

Well they didn't show her bits. We saw some of her drawers under the skirt but nothing obscene. If they'd shown her bottom or the contents of her commode then yes I'd have been wtf too.
I've done that job so it just seemed normal to me. She lives that life .. Probably normal to her too.

wewantyouasanewrecruit · 18/07/2013 21:33

Elderly people are in my opinion every bit as vulnerable as children. They are dependent on those around them to treat them with kindness and respect. This is not respectful treatment.

What a shame this thread hasn't garnered more attention so that the Beeb have to take note of how unhappy we are about exploiting the elderly in this way.

It is just so sad.

Latara · 18/07/2013 21:34

It is normal for a carer's job... but there's nothing dignified about showing a woman on the toilet on television. As a carer you are supposed to have a duty of care towards your clients, I think part of that duty is to protect their dignity. well I know I try to anyway.

Cluffyflump · 18/07/2013 21:35

Dh and I were just saying how undignified the program is.
I'm not convinced the lady gave her informed concent. I'll bet they have a signed consent form though!

Original poster

Trigglesx · 18/07/2013 21:35

OhMerGerd True, they didn't show her bits. But I think when she was visiting patients for 10 hours that day, surely they could have come up with other footage that perhaps didn't step on the dignity of the patients. I would be mortified if someone filmed that of me, I know my elderly mother would also be mortified. (honestly, most elderly people I know would be)

OP posts:

SinisterSal · 18/07/2013 21:38

How awful that could be any of us, how awful to have your dignity taken like that.
Though it's not the best part of a carer's job, so I suppose that's the point they are making.

Plus everyone is all squemish about it - me too, and fair enough - so it's a cynical viewer grab

Choccyjules · 18/07/2013 21:39

Was quite shocked on the woman's behalf too, but assumed she had given consent. I do hope they checked she could really give it. (liam is annoying me as much as last week - he's the grimmacing lazy lump).

Moxiegirl · 18/07/2013 21:44

I was pretty shocked by that too. Can't see she had capacity to consent to being filmed.

StealthPolarBear · 18/07/2013 21:46

Not seen it but thst sounds very exploitative

HeySoulSister · 18/07/2013 21:49

Is it a 'reality' show?

sewingandcakes · 18/07/2013 21:51

Sounds awful for the poor lady, there are other ways they could have shown the work a carer does without invading her privacy.

Original poster

Trigglesx · 18/07/2013 21:52

I figured technically that's what it is, or maybe a documentary type show.

OP posts:

JADS · 18/07/2013 21:54

Yanbu

That is shocking. Bad enough having some extra person there who isn't interested but a camera crew as well.

Despite working with children, we are now obliged to go on a protecting vunerable adults course as well. I bet the camera crew haven't had to do anything like this yet are going into this woman's home. This woman is vunerable and has been used, I cannot imagine anyone consenting to that. Horrible.

cozietoesie · 18/07/2013 21:55

Here you go.

\link{http://ask.ofcom.org.uk/help/television/howTvcomp\making a complaint}

Helpyourself · 18/07/2013 21:56

I saw it. I'm not sure that she could have consented, they mentioned she'd had a stroke.
I don't know how wrong it was tbh. The point was that the carer works long hours at a 'demeaning' job, and missed out on time with her family- boy did they labour that point.

angeltattoo · 18/07/2013 21:56

I couldn't believe her husband and son were in the room while she used the commode not sure that was necessary.

The lady presumably gave consent and it was showing an aspect of a carers job, it wasn't that shocking IMO.

Liam should realise that a 29 year old with a media studies degree are two a penny and should stop thinking he's special, when in fact he is just a lazy, entitled arsehole.

angeltattoo · 18/07/2013 21:59

BTW, I understand that the husband helps her with the commode normally, I just didn't think that it was necessary to have 2 x carers, husband, son and film crew were all necessary.

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