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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Showing elderly woman on commode on reality show - awful

63 replies

Trigglesx · 18/07/2013 21:21

The "We pay your benefits" programme is on, showing a woman that works as a carer. She's lifting this elderly woman (stroke victim) off a commode, identifying her by her first name, woman is fully on camera, so identifiable. Then carer is saying "oh wait, you're still weeing, name, let's sit you back down." and then "let's wipe you up." All on camera.

Where's the dignity for this poor elderly woman?

OP posts:

hiddenhome · 18/07/2013 21:59

Liam is making my blood pressure go up Entitled little shit.

tiredmummy33 · 18/07/2013 22:00

this programme is giving me the rage. the people on benefits acting smug cos they feel they prioritise their children more.

hiddenhome · 18/07/2013 22:01

If either of my two sons are ever out of work and kicking their heels, I'll be taking them to the care home with me to do voluntary caring work. I'll pay them if necessary, but there is no way they would end up like this Liam.

Degree in watching telly media studies? Don't make me laugh. Stupid little boy.

usuallyright · 18/07/2013 22:02

what an awful programme.
I don't like the way they're manipulating the 'scroungers'
Yes, Liam should do ANY job, but they don't need to keep repeating this on camera every 2 minutes. And going from not working at all, to sticking Liam on 14 hour shifts? They've set him up to fail. On purpose probably cos it makes good telly.

hiddenhome · 18/07/2013 22:04

I work with people in their early 60s who do 14 hour shifts.

sewingandcakes · 18/07/2013 22:04

I'm very proud to be a carer and feel privileged to look after people so intimately. I'm frequently disappointed that this work is considered demeaning and of low value.

hiddenhome · 18/07/2013 22:04

If he was mine, I'd wring his neck.

hiddenhome · 18/07/2013 22:05

Caring is a good job and should be valued more. I hate it when people look down on carers

scratchandsniff · 18/07/2013 22:06

I thought it was uncalled for. Felt sad for her. Do we need to see carer going 'come on then Mary let's pull your knickers up'. I'd be very upset if that had been a member of my family on tv.

Helpyourself · 18/07/2013 22:06

sewing- this programme has many faults, but it wasn't looking down on your job. The point was that was how ridiculous it was that a 29yo media studies graduate thought it was below him.
for doing your job.

Original poster

Trigglesx · 18/07/2013 22:10

sewing I wasn't putting down your job at all. I've been a carer - it's hard work and so very important as well. I am angry at the way the filming was handled.

OP posts:

Original poster

Trigglesx · 18/07/2013 22:10

scratchandsniff exactly. No regard for her dignity at all.

OP posts:

Cutiecat · 18/07/2013 22:26

I agree that this was not necessary to show in the context of the programme. When getting the lady ready they asked her if she would like the curtains closed, she replied that she didn't mind. The carer pointed out that her neighbour was mowing their lawn over the road and so they closed the curtains for her. NEVERMIND the camera crew!!!!

Darkesteyes · 18/07/2013 22:26

I was upset at the way the lady was treated too.
Liams behaviour though was a reflection on Liam not the benefits system.
And its funny how we never found out whether the employees who work for Debbie who owns the cleaning company, have to claim tax credits or not. Im assuming not because if they do that would make Debbie a hypocrite.

sewingandcakes · 18/07/2013 22:28

Trigglesx and helpyourself Sorry, I wasn't directing that comment at anyone on here; I just realised how strongly I feel about care work and wanted to broadcast it...

angeltattoo · 18/07/2013 22:36

Actually, sorry, having thought about it some more, obviously of all the people in the room, the Lady's husband and son weren't the problem.

kerstina · 18/07/2013 23:04

Have not read whole thread but am totally disgusted with the BBC. Where is the respect and dignity for that lady. I urge to all to complain I will be.

Sparrowlegs248 · 18/07/2013 23:07

Liam is an arse. BUT the lady in question has had a stroke, that doesn't make her stupid. I don't see why she couldn't give informed consent?! What we saw is her life, we didn't see any more than necessary (she was covered etc) and i think it was useful to show the difference between liams idiotic opinion and the reality of the care work.

HorizontalRunningOnly · 18/07/2013 23:14

I was just going to say the same as notalotta - the lady is elderly and had had a stroke that's doesn't mean she can't agree to filming and that she is somehow mental incapable of such understanding. The morally outraged on her behalf is quite patronising really notice no one minded the younger lady with ms having her catheter changed and full wash done.

cozietoesie · 18/07/2013 23:16

Nevertheless, it would be good if someone confirmed that that was the case - and that the filmmakers explained fully to her what would be filmed and what the editorial stance would be.

Original poster

Trigglesx · 18/07/2013 23:21

Horizontal Because the younger lady seemed much more alert and aware than the first woman. It's not a matter of being patronising. Personally, the combination of the video footage and the comments made by the carer to the patient IMO were not appropriate or necessary to be shown.

Having been a carer, I would not have agreed to filming one of my patients in that manner.

And let's not trot out the "morally outraged on her behalf" nonsense. That truly is patronising.

OP posts:

OhMerGerd · 18/07/2013 23:45

Maybe it's the hot weather but my tolerance level for all this pearl clutching and faux outrage is low.

You can bet your bottom dollar the whole process was kosher. And it's a tad patronising to suggest she had not consented... Tbh I was more astounded at how immaculate her hair and make up were.

What about the not so elderly lady with MS who's Cather was changed? How do you feel about that? we saw her kneees and some uriner. I have early start so clocking off ....

Original poster

Trigglesx · 19/07/2013 00:25

Maybe it's the hot weather but my tolerance level for all this pearl clutching and faux outrage is low.

Pearl clutching? Faux outrage? Wow. Again, the patronising accusing others of being patronising. If your tolerance is that low due to the heat, perhaps you should toddle off and have a cool drink or something. (that, by the way, was patronising, just so you recognise it in future)

People do have a right to be unhappy with things shown in a programme. They have a right to discuss it. And even to complain about it.

If you'd actually read the thread thoroughly, the point was that the first woman seemed not very alert. The woman with MS seemed very alert and aware of what was going on. I never said she hadn't consented either. I did wonder, however, how well informed that consent was.

I can't help that your focus was on her hair and makeup. Good to know you got a lot out of the programme.

OP posts:

BlackholesAndRevelations · 19/07/2013 07:09

Did anyone actually watch it until the end? Liam apparently is working as a carer now.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 19/07/2013 07:12

And I think it was just her elderly husband who was in there as opposed to husband and son... If both were there there wouldn't have been any need for carers to be called out for commode, would there?

Agree it is very demeaning but no reason to think she didn't give her consent...

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