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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be scared after registering as organ donor.

124 replies

RoxyFox211 · 18/07/2013 19:55

Always wanted to do it but had a wierd hesitation ( just in case we some how feel or are aware of organ removal after death). I'm very interested in religion, although not affiliated myself, would love to read as many religious texts as possible. In starting this post im just interested really in other peoples choices for or against being on the organ donation register, both religiously, philosphically & otherwise.

OP posts:
RunRabbit · 19/07/2013 13:59

I'm not. It was just a question. No need to be an arse about it.

curlew · 19/07/2013 14:04

Read your posts back then decide who's being an arse.

RunRabbit · 19/07/2013 14:05

Yep. Still you.

GoodTouchBadTouch · 19/07/2013 14:07

Of course I wouldn't let my child die because I hadn't signed the register. Who would?

I do think the rules should say that donors get higher priority. It would encourage people to sign up and maybe Id change my mind

curlew · 19/07/2013 14:08

Well, I reckon the person capable of posting this "I have zero interest in registering as an organ donor - now or ever." is not a person who I would trust to judge arse like posting. Or thinking.

curlew · 19/07/2013 14:10

"Of course I wouldn't let my child die because I hadn't signed the register. Who would?"

But you'd let another child die?

GoodTouchBadTouch · 19/07/2013 14:11

Part of the reason I think people are reluctant to sign the register is because of people like you curlew.

The sanctimony and attempt at guilt tripping is really off-putting.

GoodTouchBadTouch · 19/07/2013 14:12

What other child??

No way can you convince me Im a child killer because I don't donate

curlew · 19/07/2013 14:15

Sometimes the truth hurts. And if the truth makes you feel guilty that's your problem not mine.

curlew · 19/07/2013 14:23

And a person who would say "well, I was going to agree to donate my organs, but some stranger on the Internet has annoyed me so now I won't" is really rather pathetic, don't you think?

RunRabbit · 19/07/2013 14:28

Funny how a persons entire nature is negatively judged just because you refuse to donate organs.

For all anyone knows a person could have spent their entire lives helping others, but because you've said you wouldn't donate you're selfish and don't deserve to be a recipient.

I don't feel guilty at all about not being a donor, just like I don't feel guilty about not becoming a Doctor and all the potential lives that would have been saved if I had.

CloudsAndTrees · 19/07/2013 14:28

That would be pathetic Curlew, but I think you're missing the point that people have a right to do what they want with their own bodies, and someone trying to tell then they are wrong for wanting to do that is understandably going to irritate.

curlew · 19/07/2013 14:33

People have a perfect right to do what they like with their own bodies. However, if they choose not to donate organs, they have no right to take advantage of others who are prepared to make the awful decision to donate. If you would rather your or your children's organs were burnt rather than being used to give somebody else life then you have no right to accept somebody else's.

GoodTouchBadTouch · 19/07/2013 14:34

Sorry, Im still not convinced Im guilty of anything other than vague selfishness.

The more shite you come up with, the less I can take your POV seriously.

GoodTouchBadTouch · 19/07/2013 14:39

"you have no right to accept somebody else's"

WRONG

Until the law is changed (and I agree it should be) then anyone can accept an organ. Whether they are on the register or not.

You may not like it, but that's how it is.

chickensaladagain · 19/07/2013 14:40

My brother refuses to be an organ donor as he has some strange notion that if you end up in a&e with a donor card then they don't try as hard to save you

He does however give blood frequently as he has a rare blood group so can donate more often than is standard

My take on it is once I'm dead, I've no need for my insides so someone else might as well have them -less food for the worms!

curlew · 19/07/2013 14:41

Obviously you have a legal right.....

If you feel that all you are guilty of vague selfishness then why not go on the register then? It doesn't sound as if you feel very strongly about it.

CloudsAndTrees · 19/07/2013 14:42

Actually, the system we have of organs being allocated according to medical need says we do have the right to accept even if we're not willing to donate.

You might have a point morally if you were only talking about a person accepting an organ for themselves if they aren't willing to donate, but you just sound extreme when you talk about people accepting organs on behalf of their children.

curlew · 19/07/2013 14:45

I don't mind sounding extreme while children are dying every day for want of donor organs, and people say they are only guilty of "vague selfishness" for not being on the register....."

GoodTouchBadTouch · 19/07/2013 14:45

Ive given my reasons above. I want my husband to be able to decide at the time. I don't like the thought that a donor card would override next of kin. That's what they are talking about.

It must be awful for relatives to have that choice taken from them.

GoodTouchBadTouch · 19/07/2013 14:47

But saying we are to blame for children dying makes your whole argument a joke curlew.. you must be able to understand that nobody with half a brain would be swayed by that ridiculous attempt at emotional blackmail...

angelos02 · 19/07/2013 14:47

"It must be awful for relatives to have that choice taken from them"

Eh? It's not the relative's choice. It is the individual whose organs are being discussed. It is worse that a relative can over-ride the wishes of the person that has died.

curlew · 19/07/2013 14:50

If you want to treat my argument as a joke, then feel free. If it eases your sense of "vague selfishness".

And it should be the individual's choice- how much worse that their relations can over ride their express wishes.

GoodTouchBadTouch · 19/07/2013 14:53

I disagree. If I died I want my husband to be able to choose what he is most comfortable with. Because I love him

If it was a no-brainer every relative would say "sure, take what you want"

I think the thought of donation could make someone feel even worse at a terrible time in their life.

You might put your decision to donate over your loved ones feelings, which is fine, sign the register. But that's the reason why I cant

BigBoobiedBertha · 19/07/2013 14:54

From my point of view, I think if there is a God and heaven and all that, then He/She is going to be pretty pleased that you are helping others so that is no bar to donating. Plus it wouldn't be your earthly body that goes any where anyway so it doesn't matter what happens to your dead body, it is your soul that is matters and that is released when you die to do whatever you think happens in heaven. The few Christians who I have spoken to about it have different views on what heaven is but everybody agrees your dead body, in whatever state it is in, is of no more use to you.

I think Leverette covers the concerns about the physical feelings about the retrieval. Sounds like the actual moment of death is handled in such a way that it is very peaceful and humane.

For the record I am on the register. I don't actually care what DH thinks about it - it isn't his decision to make and if he is squeamish about me donating then it is a good thing I am on the register because it will be taken out of his hands - my views are clear. In reality I can't see how he will ever object - he only has one kidney. He has faced the possibility of theoretically having to have a transplant one day if his remaining kidney packs up or is damaged. He won't object.

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