I've just had a blazing row with DH. Apologies for the long post.
DH went upstairs to change DS nappy earlier on and shortly after, I heard him running to the bathroom (to get warm water for DS tail bowl) and talking to DS from the bathroom. I knew he could only be running because he?d left DS alone on the changing mat. The bathroom is about 5 metres away and is out of view of the changing mat. The only thing that stopped me going up was the fact that I then heard him running back to DS, so I thought I'd wait til he came downstairs. We have one of those dressers with the changing mat on top which is a couple of inches or so above the changing area, so DC don?t roll off. Our DS is 11 weeks old. He cannot roll over yet but can move from side to side and we?ll soon need to start changing him on the floor as he wriggles a lot and kicks the sides of the dresser.
Anyway when DH came downstairs I calmly asked him not to leave DS alone o the mat again. I didn?t want to make a big deal out of it as DH is usually sensible but I also felt I needed to let him know that I was not OK with it. DS is tiny but kicks out a lot, grasps at the air when he?s startled which then results in uncoordinated and jerky movements. Although the risk of him rolling over the top of the dresser is small, I am hugely uncomfortable with him being unsupervised on it. I said as much and DH was immediately defensive, said I jumped on his ?mistake?, said he felt there was no risk and that leaving DS was easier than picking him up as he was playing and listening to his music box. I told him that DS would still be happy once he?d picked him up, taken him and and brought him back so that was a poor reason!! I said that I didn?t ever want it to happen again, yada yada. He then said he felt it was a reasonable risk, I was going overboard and we went back and forth, huge argument ensued and we?re now not talking.
He?s made it out like I?m the bad guy and that I should have let it go and not said anything because I know he would never intentionally risk anything happening to DS, this is the first time he?s done it and is a responsible parent. From my POV, whilst I agree with all that, it only takes one occasion for an accident to happen. The fact that DH was so defensive says to me that he acknowledges he was in the wrong to some degree. Aside from mentioning it because it freaked the hell out of me, I wanted to make sure DH would never do it again, rather than keeping quiet now, assuming it was a one off and then never forgiving myself in the future if he did it again and something awful happened and I?d never raised it. His reaction shocked me. I thought he?d pretty much say sorry, won?t do it again, I realise it was risky and wasn?t really thinking etc but his reaction has me questioning myself and whether I am worrying unnecessarily. DH has never left DS unattended anywhere before to the best of my knowledge and I know he is a logical and responsible person. Despite the low risk of DH falling, I would always err on the side of caution ? there is absolutely nothing to lose from being careful is there?? I think I understand it from DH point of view despite disagreeing with him but AIBU for raising it as opposed to shutting up and assuming it was a one off/he?d never do it again?