NC because Im a wuss.
DP and I together for many years, we have two children one is 8 one is 2 both have SN. The youngest health wise, the eldest has physical problems and is on the autistic spectrum but in main stream school.
The youngest wakes many many times a night to which I tend, and the eldest most nights to which DP sees to.
Life is generally a massive ball ache. Life sucks. Its really hard. The kids needs are very fucking hard. They are wonderful, get on great most of the time they are amusing, adorable and all the rest. But their needs, on top of the, generally being normal kids can be hard work.
The eldest tends to tantrum. These outbursts can last up to two hours. He argues, wont see different, cant be talked round, reasoned with or even comforted during these times nor building up to it.
So, 7.30am Saturday morning I ask my son to do something he doesnt want to do (i.e put trousers on not shorts as he's prone to cutting his arms and legs to shreds because he cant keep up right (symptomatic) and we're going out) he kicks off for a while, lovely screaming and shouting and I admit I shouted, not for long but I did.
Middady comes I offer to bake a cake, he helps. A bit later he comes in and asks if he can have cake. I say no, its not ready we're (his brother and I) and going in the garden. He miss hears me, and thinks I said 'lets have cake in the garden'. What follows is 2 long, fucking hours of him screaming, slamming, shouting, pulling, stamping, scaring his brother. 2 HOURS I try to calm it, try to calm his brother, try to sort it try to make him happy, (this isnt an NT tantrm) think of solutions) check his bother.
Finally distraction works.
Bed time (his dads been at work and gone away for the night) he kicks off again, he isnt tired, he doesnt want to sleep, he pulls his shelves downs etc etc etc, all the while Im trying to settle a tantruming tired 2 year old.
Then their Dad comes hime trip called short THANK GOD!!
And I half jokingly, yet half not! Say that Im worried next door will call SS (she's a child psychologist) and he tells me, "well, you need to stop shouting so much then." I look at him 
and he says "well you do shout."
This, I will not deny. But a week before I gave the youngest to him in the morn, the youngest was whinging, 10 minutes in I heard DP bellow "What do you WANT?!" And the youngest cry. So I came down.
Tonight, I see to the youngest, he sees to the eldest the eldest tantrums a lovely 2 hour tantrum.
I deal with the baby, he deals with the eldest he's patient for the first half hour then raises his voice, just once. A bit down the line, he shouts. Then he ignores him.
Then I send him a text saying imagine that at 7.30 continous throughout the day withe a toddler in tow, then doing bed time alone then having your partner come home and listen to you retell in. In stead of offering support, saying I need to keep a lid on it.
He said thats MY words, of I feel SS might be called then I MUST have gone too far.
I said I did no worse than him, I have limits and need SUPPORT not criticism.
Do I need SS?