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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To of changed mind and said ds could not go for a sleepover.

40 replies

amiwickedwitch · 13/07/2013 15:20

Had my ds doing the guilt trip all day thought I would ask you wise mumsnetters for your thoughts.

DS 6 was invited round his friends house for a sleep over, he has been a few times before and enjoyed himself, so I said to his friends mum, yes no problem. Saw on facebook this morning that she friends mum had put looking forward to doing to see xxx tonight for a BBQ will be a good night. But puzzled as thought ds was staying, I did not post anything but popped to shop first things where I bumped into her, she asked if it was ok to pick ds about 4. I said I thought you had forgotten as you mentioned on f/b you were going out. She replied oh its ok its only a 10 min walk up the road and your ds can come no problems.

My concerns were ds was going to be in house with about 10 people he doesn't know (and I dont know them either) and his mum is always putting drunked photo's on f/b and I know she and her dp like a drink. I just did not want my ds to be round someone elses house that I don't know with a bunch of strangers drinking. DH agrees with me, but ds thinks I am a wicked witch!

I know the mum but not brilliantly, and knew if I let him go I would spend the night worrying.

WWYD

OP posts:
Cravingdairy · 13/07/2013 15:22

I would do the same as you.

WorraLiberty · 13/07/2013 15:24

It's a tough one really

If you're happy for your DS to stay with people you don't know brilliantly, and know they like a good drink...I'm not sure going to the BBQ will make much difference?

By the way, many people put photos of themselves drunk/doing silly things on FB. It doesn't mean they're like that all the time.

BackforGood · 13/07/2013 15:34

Well I think YABU - either you trust this other parent to look after your child or you don't. It seems that you do if you are letting him go to the house for a sleepover.
I would trust anyone who I was prepared to let my dc sleepover with, to be able to make a sound enough judgement about if her friend / neighbour's BBQ would be a nice place for a 6 yr old to be.

gallifrey · 13/07/2013 15:34

my dd went for a sleepover at her friends house and I was a bit put out that the parents went out and left the grandfather there babysitting!

HeySoulSister · 13/07/2013 15:34

6 is too young for a sleepover IMO anyway.... And these days they are too regular and have lost the fun factor.

HeySoulSister · 13/07/2013 15:35

Some may know my dd story of a sleepover

She was filmed whilst in the hosts shower.... You hand responsibility over, you lose control.

whattooooodo · 13/07/2013 15:38

Can you ask her ds to sleep over at yours instead?

Original poster
amiwickedwitch · 13/07/2013 15:40

Thanks for replies a mixed bag.

personally I think there is a big difference between a sleepover 6 door's up the road and another 10 mins up the road in a house where I don't know or people I dont know. I bumped into her coming back from the shop and she pointed to her bottles of wine and said she all prepared for the night. She said she wanted ds to come as her ds would be the only child. This also made put me out as she never mentioned this when asking ds to sleep.

OP posts:
Original poster
amiwickedwitch · 13/07/2013 15:41

Thanks whattoooodo that is a great idea (duh how come I did not think of it)

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 13/07/2013 15:41

HeySoulSister Omg?? How did that come about? Shock

Original poster
amiwickedwitch · 13/07/2013 15:43

That is awful Heysoulsister :(

OP posts:
Original poster
amiwickedwitch · 13/07/2013 15:48

yes mum snapped my hand off :) no longer a wicked witch but now a superstar all credit goes to whattoooodo Thanks

OP posts:
HeySoulSister · 13/07/2013 15:58

Friends sisters boyfriend planted a mobile phone ( hidden behind shampoo bottles) parents were obviously oblivious to it but he got jail from it.

Police don't think he posted it on Internet, but can't be 100% sure. You just don't know who other people entering the house are or their intentions. Obviously this was a rare thing, but made me re think sleepovers.

MortifiedAdams · 13/07/2013 16:02

Sounds like she is taking your ds so the kids can entertain each other while the grown ups get pissed.

Why not have both boys to sleep at yours?

WorraLiberty · 13/07/2013 16:03

Blimey Soul I'm sorry to hear that. The filthy fucking pervert Angry

Glad it's sorted OP

Original poster
amiwickedwitch · 13/07/2013 17:25

OMG soul that is awful.

She dropped him off 10 mins after the text boys playing well.

Yep mortifiedadams that is the impression I got from her too. Hope she doesn't get too drunk as we have plans tomorrow and I need her to collect her ds at 10.

OP posts:
babyhmummy01 · 13/07/2013 17:29

Am on the fence

Could you calm the situation by having the friend to sleep over at urs instead

Mumsyblouse · 13/07/2013 17:35

HeySoulSister sorry to hear about your story, I must admit that I have always had my reservations about sleepovers for primary children anyway and don't allow mine to go on them, but I know I'm in the minority on MN as it is pretty common nowadays (not really in my childhood, the odd time my parents were away).

Original poster
amiwickedwitch · 14/07/2013 13:16

Absolutely livid. I asked for him to be picked up at 10 as we had plans, I have been round her house, no answer, called her phone no answer. He is still here and my plans are ruined for the day. Needed to go to my sisters 50 miles away for my nieces birthday. The poor ds has said to me that when his mum and dad have a drink they stay in bed most of the day and I have a telly day !. I am going round every 10 mins and knocking the door. Don't know what else to do.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 14/07/2013 13:20
Angry
SugarPasteGreyhound · 14/07/2013 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 14/07/2013 13:22

oh dear op so sorry to hear that, clearly she is a piss taker, lesson learnt.

SavoyCabbage · 14/07/2013 13:26

Oh no! I don't know what I would do. You can't not go.

RandomMess · 14/07/2013 13:38

I'd be tempted to call the police on the non emergency number and ask them what to do?

babyhmummy01 · 14/07/2013 14:16

I agree, phone police