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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what the fuck has happened to my face

31 replies

MrTumblesBeerBelly · 12/07/2013 21:20

I look so haggard!!

Had baby a year ago, gone up a dress size from 10 to 12, but other than that nothing has really changed. I'm 34, don't have many noticeable lines or anything but I just don't look like me anymore. My skin looks dull, my eyes look weirdly piggy, and I am getting a bit jowly. The light has gone from my eyes in photos :(

What the fuck is this? And what's the best cure? I have tried a lot of face creams and I'm too scared of surgery. I do get a fairly decent amount of sleep too and my diet isn't terrible.

I'm sorry if I should be posting in style or something, I just can't get over how crap I look!

OP posts:
Nagoo · 12/07/2013 21:25

water and exercise.

ThePowerof3 · 12/07/2013 21:27

What Nagoo said plus facial oil instead of cream

DeepRedBetty · 12/07/2013 21:36

When I was 20-something, about half of us had babies and the other half went career-minded. And the half who did babies put on about five years, face, figure and attitude wise.

We all then caught up with each other when most of the rest of us did our babies in our thirties. In fact, the ones who'd done the early babies frankly looked better. Jammy cows.

There is no realistic way short of surgery that you will ever, ever look exactly like you did before. It's shit but as Nagoo says lots of water and exercise will help, a bit. But most of it is Anno Domini.

Yes, I freaked when I first realised. And so did (most) of the rest of us. But (mostly) I look at what me and DP have made and go 'wow'!

Sorry, I realise I'm sounding a bit sanctimonious and bossy but honestly that's what I think.

MrTumblesBeerBelly · 12/07/2013 21:43

I think I drink enough water and I do some exercise - well, a class once a week and at least an hour walking a day. I know more would be better if I could find the time.

So is it game over then? Do you think dropping the last 7lbs of baby weight would fix my jowly basset hound face? I'm very short (5ft) so I think weight is more noticeable on me than most

OP posts:
EeyoreIsh · 12/07/2013 21:50

Lots of fruit and veg. I was amazed by the difference it made.

That and night cream.

DeepRedBetty · 12/07/2013 21:53

Sad I do sometimes look at photos taken before I started being Mummy and think 'what the fuck happened?' And I know what you mean about the jowly bit under my jaw. Actually surgery probably could fix it, but, you know what... I can think of better things to spend a couple of thousand on.

Sorry being a bit Tough Love here aren't I?

hesterton · 12/07/2013 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DumSpiroSpero · 12/07/2013 21:55

Clarins Facial Treatment Oil is amazing stuff.

£30 a bottle but out posts a good while. I've never used it without someone commenting on my skin, even if it looked rubbish an hour earlier.

Maybe a supplement like Perfectil might be worth a try as well.

baskingseals · 12/07/2013 21:56

A full time nanny is the only cure

DumSpiroSpero · 12/07/2013 21:57

Hesterton is right - well worth getting your thyroid checked. It's not uncommon for thyroid function to take a dive after pregnancy.

Fakebook · 12/07/2013 22:01

Beauty comes from within. Don't waste money on fancy creams.

Take co enzyme Q, vitamin D and vitamin D supplements. Break open one vitamin E capsule, mix with your normal moisturiser and use on face and eyes every night.

Eat your fruits and vegetables and cut down on the caffeine drinks.

RandallPinkFloyd · 12/07/2013 22:05

Give it another year. Honestly, I felt the same until my DS was 18mo. He's 2 next month and I feel great now.

Sounds daft I know but it sort of peaked at 18 months and it's got steadily better since then. Don't get me wrong I've never exactly been a looker but I actually quite like what I see in the mirror these days.

If dropping those 7lb will make you feel better then do it, but only do it for you and because you want to. You'll get you back soon. The first year is the biggest transition period you'll ever have, don't be too hard on yourself, you're doing great.

Smile
MrTumblesBeerBelly · 12/07/2013 22:10

Thanks for advice and thyroid tip, will check it out now. My hair is same as ever, bit dry maybe but that's because of highlights (desperate attempt to brighten face!)

I'm half Asian so pr

OP posts:
ChocolateBiscuitCake · 12/07/2013 22:10

Cut out the booze too.

I used to have a medicinal bottle glass every night to celebrate surviving the day when the kids went to bed and noticed that I just look old: bags, jowls, chins, dull skin...

I now drink three times more water, eat less crap cos I'm not hungover and my skin has improved dramatically.

Also, get your hair done. Always makes me feel so much better :)

MrTumblesBeerBelly · 12/07/2013 22:11

..one to looking sallow and, I don't know, intense or something (my eyes are nearly black, dark skin, prone to shadows etc)

OP posts:
thismousebites · 12/07/2013 22:16

Join the club.
And TBH losing weight as you get older will only make you look more haggard.....think Peter Cushing.
I remember looking in the mirror at 34 feeling quite smug about my wrinkle free face. One year later, after DS1 I looked in the same mirror and though "Oh, the irony".

Drhamsterstortoise · 12/07/2013 22:32

Yeah it shocked me too!have underactive thyroid though which makes hair and skin dry.I'm doing everything I can now after second dd.Drinking water,using facial oil,bravura glycolic peel,factor 50,cutting out processed food and upping the healthy stuff,kerastase hair oil and exercise.Body looks good but face looks tired.I've big bags and dull skin.5 years ago I had lovely skin and no bags.Gets me down but I've two lovely children

MrTumblesBeerBelly · 12/07/2013 23:08

Ugh it's just a big pile of shite!!

OP posts:
Edendance · 12/07/2013 23:28

Also recommend Clarins face oil, I alternate that one night with rose hip oil the next (it's very cheap and very good!) and love them both!

Mimishimi · 12/07/2013 23:36

I noticed big changes in my face after having children too, even after I lost most of my baby weight. Many women can be rather heavy after kids but have ept lovely, slim faces as they were before so you don't notice it as much. Not me. My cheeks got puffier, my eyes got smaller, my jawline got softer. It does get me down at times but serious cardio activity (running, spinning etc) helps a lot as do yoga exercises for the face.

MrTumblesBeerBelly · 12/07/2013 23:38

Clarins on shopping list!
I've just looked at a pic of me 5 mins post labour - I look more bright eyed and rested then than i do now

Shock WTAF

OP posts:
MrTumblesBeerBelly · 12/07/2013 23:39

Tell me about this face yoga please!

OP posts:
Mimishimi · 12/07/2013 23:54

One is where you stick your lower jaw out beyond your front teeth as far as you can (like a bulldog Grin) then slowly tilt your head back so that you are facing the ceiling and hold for 20 seconds or so. Repeat a few times several times a day.

Another one is making a little tube with your tongue, breathing in through it and then holding the breath whilst puffing out your cheeks to the max, hold as long as you can, and then let breath slowly out through the nose.

Then the tradional ooooo.....ahhhhhh.....eeeeee faces with exaggerated expression.

These are good for firming up the jawline, cheek definition but only cardio where my heart rate goes up significantly reduces te puffiness that makes my eyes look smaller.

MrTumblesBeerBelly · 13/07/2013 07:29

Ooh will try, thank you!

OP posts:
TroublesomeEx · 13/07/2013 07:54

I'm glad Mimi explained face yoga. I was reading this thinking that's what you need to do.

I do it.

I don't know if will work, but the women in my family have a tendancy to go a bit 'jowly' and I'm determined to try and keep it at bay for as long as possible!!

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