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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

OH and his holiday with his brother

62 replies

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 12/07/2013 19:40

OH has just announced that he is going away with his twat of a brother in August for a week.

Last time he went away with his brother he ended up being arrested on the first night, 'falling'' in the sea at night & cheating on me. It all happened because of his brother.

Am I being unreasonable to put my foot down and tell him not to go? They are going back to the same place

OP posts:
Whothefuckfarted · 13/07/2013 08:57

Why are you still with him.

LIZS · 13/07/2013 09:04

He sounds a real catch Hmm If you say no will he go anyway ? And if so use the time off to rethink your relationship and get checked for STD's

TartinaTiara · 13/07/2013 09:59

Do yourself a favour, OP. YABU to prevent him from going; pack his bags, give him a fiver for spending money and tell him not to let the door hit his arse. YWBVVVVVVVU to let him come back.

quoteunquote · 13/07/2013 10:17

It comes down to this,

He is making his choices, you now have to make yours, find something you can live with.

If he had any misgiving about his previous behaviour he would never put himself in that position again.

most normal people would never have anything to do with someone who had spiked them with drugs whoever they are,

Anyone who claims that they were forced to cheat, is a liar.

Anyone who believes someone was forced to cheat is either very stupid, or fooling themselves because dealing with truth is unpalatable.

He not acting like someone who adores his wife.

Why do you tolerated being treated like this ?

Skintorama · 13/07/2013 10:22

Oh this is a really sad thread.

Life doesn't have to be like this.

Mia4 · 13/07/2013 10:47

OP he lied to you, if he really was drugged he'd be furious at his brother, furious for the poor woman and furious for you-he would have nothing to do with his brother again. I get you want to believe his brother made him do these things but the truth is sadder that your OH would blame his brother and you would accept it.

He is going away again because he knows that you believed him and so can come back and hang his head in fake shame telling all about how he was 'spiked' again and forced to commit acts. The truth is though if he genuinely had been the first time, he'd be furious, they'd be no trust and he wouldn't want near his bro.

Also the fact he told you rather then discus it in advance shows how little he truly gives a damn and how confident he is in his own lies.

Please leave him OP, find someone who'll be honest and who won't try to manipulate you. At the very least go to RELATE, print out this thread and talk to them about the whole thing.

whattodoo · 13/07/2013 12:13

Tell him that if he goes, you won't be around when he gets back.

Actually, leave him anyway. He is treating you with zero respect.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 13/07/2013 12:19

Why are you still with this bloke?

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 15/07/2013 12:16

Oh OP, you can do so much better than this loser

HaveIGotPoosForYou · 15/07/2013 12:29

He is a complete liar, I am afraid.

I know it's probably not what you want to hear and it's obviously not what you exactly asked from the OP but it's the truth.

If he did drug your partner then:
--Your partner wouldn't want anything to do with him again even if he is his brother especially since he could've ruined his relationship with the woman he 'loves'.
--It doesn't account for why the woman would've slept with him. After all, she'd not be too keen sleeping with a guy who is completely out of it.
--Normally when you are spiked the drugs that are used prevent you from getting aroused properly/cause erectile problems so it's very unlikely they would've been able to have sex.
--If it did happen he'd vow never to go on holiday with his brother again.

So, I am pretty sure he's talking like a twat and he has fooled you into believe him, because you care for him so much.

I am sorry, OP.

gotthemoononastick · 15/07/2013 13:07

Snapped my string of pearls whilst clutching them and laughing so much at Fragglewumps marvellous turn of phrase!!

AmberLeaf · 15/07/2013 13:16

You've been had OP, sorry but this holiday will go the same way as the last, he will cheat on you.

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