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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH and his holiday with his brother

62 replies

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 12/07/2013 19:40

OH has just announced that he is going away with his twat of a brother in August for a week.

Last time he went away with his brother he ended up being arrested on the first night, 'falling'' in the sea at night & cheating on me. It all happened because of his brother.

Am I being unreasonable to put my foot down and tell him not to go? They are going back to the same place

OP posts:
Ashoething · 12/07/2013 20:00

Really?

pictish · 12/07/2013 20:02

It all happened because of his brother.

No. It all happened because your OH is a drunken, cheating, violent arsehole. Wake up.

WinningBread · 12/07/2013 20:03

Hilarious! I have never heard such twaddle.

You can't think much of yourself if you'd rather stay with him than scratch the surface to find the truth of what happened and get rid.

Honestly? You believe he was forced to cheat on you? Really?

Like ENorma said - have some self respect.

You are worth more than that.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 12/07/2013 20:06

He is a waste of space for several reasons: the holiday on his own (why do so many people's partners on MN seem to just swan off like this?), the thoroughly nasty brother who seems to think women are some kind of toy to be used in playing pranks, and his own complete lack of integrity in cheating on you and then telling such ridiculous lies about it, as if he has no control over his own dick. Life will improve dramatically when you tell him to go on his bleeding holiday and not to bother ever coming back.

BrokenBanana · 12/07/2013 20:11

Come on now, don't be horrible to the OP.

I do think though that your DP sounds horrible, even just from those few sentences. I'm sure you can do a lot better than that.

Squitten · 12/07/2013 20:13

I would suggest that, even if you believe that total crock of horse manure he told you, a man who would willingly put himself at risk of that happening again obviously didn't dislike it all that much.

I think you've been had there OP

pictish · 12/07/2013 20:14

I don't think anyone actually wants to be horrible...but the OP being that gullible kinda makes me want to give her a good shake. Sorry.

DeepRedBetty · 12/07/2013 20:25

Malibu I do think you're going to have to have a big long think about OH and whether it's really going to work out longterm. Sorry.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 12/07/2013 20:33

I don't mean to be horrible, honestly. I do think that if the OP is in any doubt about him being a rotten partner, the replies here might at least make her feel she is not BU.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 12/07/2013 20:34

Realistically, you can't 'put your foot down and tell him not to go'.

You can leave him though, which is what I would do, as he (and his brother) sound like a pair of utter buffoons.

Why are you with this man?

I am also surprised that you have so willingly swallowed what is quite clearly a load of old codswallop.

What kind of man locks a woman in a room with a drugged man? That sounds horrifically scary to me, but maybe I just move in different circles. Hmm

Ezio · 12/07/2013 20:41

Did he pass out and land inside of her, seriously that is the dumbest excuse ever.

And almost a little rapey if the brother drugged her aswell and locked them in a room.

ImNotBloody14 · 12/07/2013 20:43

I find it so sad that you think so little of yourself you are willing to pretend you believe this rubbish OP.

you know no-one can be forced to cheat. he could be locked in a room with 100 naked women and if he didn't want to put his penis in any of them he wouldn't.

your partner chose to cheat on you. you know this.

unless you think he was raped?

ManAliveThisThingsFantastic · 12/07/2013 20:48

Oh you poor thing Flowers

Let's be honest, if your DB has drugged you and locked you up. Why on earth would you go away with him again?!

EllaFitzgerald · 12/07/2013 20:49

I think he's given you a load of old flannel about why he was 'tricked' into cheating on you. However, even if there was a drug that took away his free will whilst leaving him with the ability to maintain an erection, why on earth would your OH want to risk the same thing happening again this year?

You can't tell someone what they can or can't do. He's your partner, not your possession. You can, however, decide what you're prepared to accept within your relationship and walk away if it's not right for you.

I think he knows he's safe to go away and do whatever he wants because his brother will take the blame and you'll believe that.

WhatWouldBeyonceDo · 12/07/2013 20:51

Kick him into touch.

You have been well and truly played, I can't quite even believe that you believed him Confused

You can do better, he's laughing at you, so is his drink spiking brother Hmm

gordyslovesheep · 12/07/2013 20:51

Oh OP :( he cheated on you - his drink wasn't that spiked as to turn him and the girl into sexbots was it? He was drunk and had sex with someone and blamed his brother...

he feels so bad about it he's going away on another boys only trip with him ...

Cravey · 12/07/2013 21:07

I think op your dh has been telling you fibs. Even if his drink was spiked and he was locked in a room nothing could make him have sex unless he wanted to. Stop blaming his brother and lay the blame at his feet where it should be.

Letitsnow9 · 12/07/2013 21:11

Did the girl decide that she would like to be looked in a room with a drunk man????

Sparklysilversequins · 12/07/2013 21:12

Ok even if it's true , why on earth would he go away with him again? Or has he got him in a perpetual drugged up state that removes his free will and makes him agree to the unacceptable?

diddl · 12/07/2013 21:25

How did you even find out?

But they both sound like twats.

DonDrapersAltrEgoBigglesDraper · 12/07/2013 21:27

Sorry OP - I guess this thread isn't going at all the way you thought it would.

I bet your OH and his buffoon brother couldn't believe it when you bought their story. It's so far-fetched, but was probably the best they could come up with in the short time frame, that they thought it was worth a try, never really thinking you'd go for it.

The rest of us aren't so willingly ready to have the wool pulled over, as we're not in the slightest bit enamoured with your OH, so it's far easier for us to recognise blantant cheating-related lies when we see them.

The thing is, actually, deep, deep down, you don't really believe it yourself either, do you? You just sort of have to believe it, because the alternative is breaking up with him, which you're obviously not ready to do yet.

AnyFucker · 12/07/2013 21:28

Oh dear

Broodymomma · 12/07/2013 21:35

Why are some men such utter stupid selfish pigs? I was getting all upset over a holiday without us type of thing on my own thread but reading this has just made me see that some men are just vile pigs who do what they want when they want stuff anyone else as they will always talk their way round it after they have had their fun. You deserve better op and so do I!!!!

AnyFucker · 12/07/2013 23:11

Oi, BM, don't let yours off the hook because this one is a slightly worse bastard than yours ....

ariane5 · 12/07/2013 23:19

YANBU

But really, save yourself all the worry and just get rid then it doesn't matter what he does.

I speak from experience.

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