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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel that a lot of us should really count our blessings.

31 replies

mootime · 11/07/2013 20:14

Sat watching the Great British Budget Menu and feeling like a real spoilt brat for feeling a bit sorry for myself lately.
That's it really.

OP posts:
mootime · 11/07/2013 20:20

And I'm aware that I can only talk for myself and don't mean to be condescending in any way.

OP posts:
morethanpotatoprints · 11/07/2013 20:20

I didn't see it, was it about eating on a tight budget?

I think it does us good to count our blessings.
Great thread, OP. Very thought provoking

FayKnights · 11/07/2013 20:21

Just thinking the same Mootime.

OooohShiny · 11/07/2013 20:22

yep, me too.

There's cutting back and watching what you spend and then there's what these folks are putting up with Sad

mootime · 11/07/2013 20:23

It's on BBC1 now. Chefs going into family homes who are struggling to afford to eat well.

OP posts:
McNewPants2013 · 11/07/2013 20:24

I am sat here watching it.

I too feel guilty of my self pity when I see people having to use food banks.

ClementineKelandra · 11/07/2013 20:25

Struggling go afford to eat well?! Some of us are struggling to eat at all :(

mootime · 11/07/2013 20:26

Meant to put "or at all".

OP posts:
Portofino · 11/07/2013 20:39

Definitely. I grew up with bugger all, know what it is like not to eat, and try to help my friends who are in more difficult circumstances when I can.

SunshineBossaNova · 11/07/2013 20:52

YANBU. I cried when James Martin gave that elderly man his egg.

When my mum was a single parent she used to skip meals so we'd eat. My DB has used a food bank when his benefits were fucked up for the umpteenth time - he lost a stone in a month.

BadgersRetreat · 11/07/2013 20:55

MN often makes me count my blessings, when i see how much some people are struggling. Makes me very grateful for what i have, such as it is.

Sparklingbrook · 11/07/2013 20:58

I agree mootime. The whole programme has been very enlightening. Sad

Leithlurker · 11/07/2013 21:05

What your essentially saying is that your thanking your lucky stars it is not YOU. Thats exactly what this and previous governments have wanted you to think, as it keep you terrified of change and quietly working away. Try thinking that if it was you, others would be sitting on Mn and other internet forums feeling sorry for you, not helping you any, or asking why anyone has to be in food poverty in a civilised country, just feeling sorry for you and glad it's not them.

Time to stop counting blessings and start getting angry, who knows it could be you soon enough, illness, disability, redundancy, all come unexpectedly and with no time for people to plan.

hearthwitch · 11/07/2013 21:08

a Dwp spokesman today said that because more foodbanks were opening up more people would of course be using them. and that is the twisted logic of the government. I work in the social sector and I see this kind of struggle everyday. its heartbreaking. I gave two bags of shopping to the foodbank last weekend and I'll do it again

SueDoku · 11/07/2013 21:12

Couldn't agree more Leith. You never know what's round the corner, and it only takes one bit of bad luck for you to be the person queuing at the food bank - while millionaires laugh in Parliament as they change the rules so that you can't get benefit for days - or more - after you sign on...Angry

SueDoku · 11/07/2013 21:16

www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jul/04/lord-freud-food-banks
Read this to see the true spirit of the Tories...!

mootime · 11/07/2013 21:20

You are right. I was grateful that this is not me, at the moment. But I am aware how quickly things can turn around.

It's shocking that there is such inequality and it does make me get angry. I certainly wasn't meaning that I am sat here feeling sorry for people.

I do stand by my comment that we should sometimes count our blessings.

I grew up without much and have been very lucky to be in the situation that we are now financially, but in other ways we have been to hell and back so I do know that life can change in the blink of an eye. But sometimes, when things are ok, we should be grateful, rather than always feeling like things could be better.

I also had no idea about how to do a food bank shop. That will change tomorrow, I know it's not going to change the world, but it might help someone.

OP posts:
Leithlurker · 11/07/2013 21:30

What your essentially saying is that your thanking your lucky stars it is not YOU. Thats exactly what this and previous governments have wanted you to think, as it keep you terrified of change and quietly working away. Try thinking that if it was you, others would be sitting on Mn and other internet forums feeling sorry for you, not helping you any, or asking why anyone has to be in food poverty in a civilised country, just feeling sorry for you and glad it's not them.

Time to stop counting blessings and start getting angry, who knows it could be you soon enough, illness, disability, redundancy, all come unexpectedly and with no time for people to plan.

Leithlurker · 11/07/2013 21:31

Sorry for same post twice

Leithlurker · 11/07/2013 21:32

This is what I meant to say.

The change in Disability Living allowance to PIP, a totaly this government idea nothing to do with either parties manifesto or the need to save money, is actually going to make this situation much worse in two ways.

  1. Instead of 3 levels of care needs only two will exist in PIP. The threshold to get the lower rate, will in fact be substantially more difficult to achieve than as is the case for DLA just now. So a typical example would be someone, a woman lets say with sever arthritis in fingers, wrists, elbows, neck and shoulders. Many women lend up like that as the spend a lot of their life lifting kids, heavy shopping, cleaning, doing other heavy work.

So this woman who under the old test would get some DLA because she would in all likelihood fail the cooking test as she would rightly say that lifting hot pans, chopping, grating, even stirring could all be unsafe as she could hurt herself. Now though under pip she will receive nothing as the cooking test is gone and although having all her needs, she will still be able to function enough as far as the dwp are concerned. She will just have to take her chances like the many other disabled people.

I said she would lose out twice, the 2nd is that the very point of the DLA a benefit that Mrs Thatcher brought in by the way, is to cover extra costs. So this woman, and many other disabled people could afford decent food, might even be afford treats, like fruit, or a pudding. But not now, less money to spend on food, less money to pay for heat, less money to help them pay for additional medicines or therapies. Malnutrition may well be the norm for many people. Get angry people if you don't and illness and disability visit you and you look round in vain for help, you will only have yourself to blame. No one will make a stand for you if your not prepared to make a stand for others.

Leithlurker · 11/07/2013 21:34

Mootime I am sorry if it felt like I am attacking you, I respect what you say about a time and place to count blessings. I am just pointing out that counting blessings often tips over in complacency. I am sure that does not apply to you.

SunshineBossaNova · 11/07/2013 21:58

Leith I am fucking angry. It's shit that people have so little to feed themselves with. It's a disgrace that people are going hungry in this country which is still so sodding rich.

I am also furious about the DLA changing to PIP. It occurred to me watching the programme that it's okay to demonstrate cheap homemade meals for people who can prepare them, but some people can't do so. Some people can't lift a pan, chop veg etc. etc. Still others can't afford to pay the electric or gas so they can cook.

So being grateful for what I have (because it hasn't always been easy) doesn't stop me from feeling anger against our MPs and their uncaring attitude to poor people.

Leithlurker · 11/07/2013 22:05

Use the anger sinshine, things change when people are angry. Maybe make others as angry as you so that change happens sooner and is much more deep rotted than just tinkering with benefits.

You know what I did today, I lay in the road outside the Jobcentre in Leith to stop the traffic, why because on the whim of some middle manager a policy of enforcing a 30% sanction rate on to the staff, meaning staff had to apply 30% of their case load on to sanctions meaning loss of benefit and housing benefit, was introduced by this manager for no reason apart from the staff are under staffed so this would cut down on the worl load. I shit you not about any of that

SunshineBossaNova · 11/07/2013 22:08

Shit Leith that's fucking awful. Shock

Souredstones · 11/07/2013 22:12

I don't count myself lucky.

I've been where those people in that programme have been and it is bloody miserable. But I worked my fucking arse off to get out of the poverty trap and where I am today, nothing 'blessed' about it.

Not the popular opinion I know.