Re outfit for wedding..

[Pagwatch]

I am not sure.

I have been asked by a relative to help my mother chose an outfit for their wedding.
My mother is coming to visit and I am happy to help.
But it is becoming apparent that I am expected to pay for it all - again I am happy to help - except I am getting drip fed info about what is expected. The wedding is in a 5 star hotel and there are big hints about the outfit being 'appropriate' which have probably irritated me a bit because I know how to dress for a wedding thanks, but now I have started receiving advice on a 'colour scheme' as apparently my mum has to coordinate.

My mum is in her 70s. She had surgery this year and cannot wear constricting clothes and is very self conscious about her weight. Frankly I think it will be pretty hard work to get her something she feels happy about without being told that 'soft silver or a similar muted tone' is what she needs.

So aibu to just take her out and let her chose whatever she feels good in.
Or should I try and persuade her into something the bride will approve of.
Or should I speak to the bride and tell her that I am just going to let mum get whatever she wants and she will just have to accept that she should put up with that.

As it goes, having written that I think I am just going to let mum chose what she wants, pay for it all and tell my relative that if she doesn't like it she can buy mum something else herself.
Aibu?

Gawd, buying a wedding outfit is stressful enough, without having to worry about certain colours and then having to worry about comfort due to factors such as surgery :-( Tell the wedding couple where to shove their dress and get something your mother feels comfy and happy in.

Having said that, if the colour scheme isn't too horrendous/restrictive I'd probably keep an eye out for it. I wouldn't want her to feel awkward. Are you going to the wedding too?

feather print
quite marilyn
dotty
dress and jacket
floral
leopard with sleeves
glitzy
lace
more lace
lilac
Anything there?

Is this person seriously pushy or did your mother once attend a wedding wearing this?

I could get her a Vivienne Westwood corset dress and a fucking massive fascinator.

Do it, do it!

This is very marmite, but East has lovely generous sizes and lots of the clothes are very floaty and loose. I've not been in this year (I go for my mum, which is why I thought of it!) but sometimes they have dresses that would be smart enough for a wedding and would also be comfortable. It might give her that 'boost' if she finds she's wearing a smaller size than usual, too?

(Sorry, I realize I wrote that and it comes across as if I assume your mother is huge. I was focussing on the 'no constricting clothes' bit mainly.)

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Gina-Bacconi-Silver-Detail-Dress-and-Long-Jacket-SE50231-/360604823406

There's this but it is bloody expensive.

www.johnlewis.com/jacques-vert-chiffon-pleat-dress-grey-zinc/p389129

Won't break the bank and doesn't look constricting in the abdominal area.

www.jacques-vert.co.uk/en/abstract-floral-print-dress-264182

or this.

www.jacques-vert.co.uk/en/pebble-chiffon-satin-skirt-277119

or this. With

www.jacques-vert.co.uk/en/pebble-occasion-jacket-270140?msg=

and a nice top.

It's neither silver nor muted though there's lots of stuf on here like that but dressy and loose fitting without being tent like.
www.saharalondon.com/dresses/amy-waffle-linen-asymmetric-dress-tulip.aspx

Hahaha justfornowitwilldo.

Don't worry LRD , I know what you mean and you are completely right.

FauxFox - fab! I will screen capture all of those and show her. I had forgotten about linea. I think their stuff has ben quite good for her in the past.

You lot are fabx
I have to go out but I will look at all of those and they will be brilliant for getting mum to think about what magic dress she wants

Thanks

Oh, whew!

Good luck with it.

Yanbu

Good luck Pag. Some good suggestions here.

My visit ever foray into internet forums were for my wedding in 2007. It was generally a bit mad but there was 1"bonkers woman who insisted her guests worn beige shades for the photos. How I laughed when she posted the photos which were taken in a field so the guests blended in, the bride as wearing cream so was fairly undistguishable and there was a socking great ugly pylon in the background. Colour schemes for guests are ridiculous. Wish someone had come to my wedding dressed as batman.

My sister's SIL had her wedding about 1000 miles away from where everyone lived, so they were spending a lot of money traveling to attend, and stay in the hotel. Then she suddenly announced no kids at the ceremony, expecting little ones to be left in hotel rooms minded by complete strangers if at all (she did want them at the dinner afterwards). Then she announced a colour scheme for guests. She's lucky anyone turned up, really. Mind you, she's the one who objected to her DH paying college fees for his kids, which forever turned her into a nasty loon in my eyes.