to be disappointed that she let my DD burn...

[momb]

my Dd is 8 and has never had sunburn, until this Sunday.
We were at a music festival over the weekend and were all hatted, creamed and wearing shirts.
When we got home DD went to call for her friend next door and was invited in. 2 hours later she is home crying because her back is bright red and really hot. They had been playing in the paddling pool and had stripped down to their knickers. I have no issue with them playing in the water, but if they were over here I'd put shirts on them and/or smother them in cream.
I'm very disappointed and actually quite cross with my neighbour. Am I being unreasonable?

Are you really asking what the difference is between a paddling pool and an actual pool??

If I have other children here playing in the sun I would ask if they had suncream on, if they didn't I would check with the parents if it was ok to put some on or tell them to keep their top on.

I am pretty obsessed with sun cream though.

It is your responsibility to send your child with some cream when they are playing in the sun, it's obvious that in this heat paddling pools might come out etc. So she isn't at fault, but personally I would always ask the child.

Is that like asking the difference between ,like, a lamp and the sun?

Thetoys

She knew her child had cream onher arms and face. She didn't know the child would be taking her top off and would therefore need it on her back.

Yes I am in a supervision kind of sense.

Really? you are actually asking? Isn't it totally blindingly obvious?

You know the difference between the sea and a bath? It's a bit like that.

I think what's happened is that your DD is like me and my DD. We both have very fair skin and turn red very, very easily so we always have suncream on and are very conscious of this. Other friends of mine cannot believe how quickly we burn. They obviously do not think of suncream all the time and probably not in the late afternoon as they have no experience of people burning so quickly. I think it was unfortunate and no one is really to blame, but you are right to teach your DD to think about suncream now.

Some paddling pools I have seen are deep.

I still think an 8 year old need supervision around a paddling pool in the garden.

OK. An actual pool is pretty deep and would be dangerous to leave an 8 y/o completely unattended whilst they were playing in it.

A paddling pool is the opposite of the above.

Jamie - By the same token the neighbour didnt know that the child didnt already have cream on, or that OP hadnt already just lathed her DC in it. I know that kids do all sorts of things that can't be predicted. Which is why if my DC goes to someones house I send them with cream or pop round to check they have got enough on, or ask the other person if they would mind checking my DC has got enough on.

I honestly wouldn't supervise an 8 y/o in a paddling pool.

Unless the paddling pool was actually floating in the English Channel.

8 years old is still very young for them to know exactly when and how often to apply sunscreen without adult reminders and supervision. The least your neighbour could have done is to check with your dd if she had suncream on when she removed her top. Surely 8 year olds need supervising around paddling pools?

Maybe I am just over protective then.

YANBU.

If a child came into my garden to go in the paddling pool and was not wearing anything, I would ask if they needed suncream. I think the adult has more responsibility than the child, that would be the adult that is WITH the child?

Would everyone be saying that if the OPs child had gone round to her (eg) father's house and returned burned? I don't think so. They would be saying the dad has a responsibility to make sure the child is creamed up. I don't think it's different with someone else's child - you can always say no and send them home after all!

Why would an 8 year old need supervising around a paddling pool, most of which go up to their ankles?The deepest might go half way to their knees! What on earth do you think an 8 year old is going to do themselves in that?
Do you supervise them in the bath too?

My dd is almost 8, and yes, I wouldn't be out of earshot when she is in the bath, especially as she is fond of pretending she is a diver and totally submersing her entire head and body. My dd and her friends are complete nutters around a paddling pool, running, jumping etc. It is possible to drown in shallow water, although that needs to under the water is the nose and mouth. It is unlikely, but a slip or fall which knocks them unconscious could result in drowning. Better safe than sorry.

Yes...our road is much the same but I know if my DC are at another house in a paddling pool.

I supervise ds aged 7 and dd aged 4 on the bath.

Any slip or fall could, at a long shot, result in death. Honestly, cotton wool kids or what?

Slipshod, obviously living abroad for the last 18 years you have absolutely no idea how litigious Britain has now become.

Defiantly no way should anyone apply sun cream to anyone rises child unless parent gives permission.

As a TA and an ex CM this is fundamental to your policies.

If the child was playing at mine I would have stuck sun cream on her but text mum diary to check for allergies.

The body, I live overseas. I don't live on a different planet. I do understand schools and childminders have to follow strict rules. This is a play date. Surely if someone is that concerned about litigation, s/he would leave the child in a t shirt, check verbally about allergies or otherwise take better care? Its Just common sense.

Slipshod it wasn't a playdate she had gone to play with her friend next doir and its an entirely different thing. If someone calls round to play with one of my dd then they are playing together I am not looking after the child nor am I responsible for them.

I do smother my dcs whole bodies in cream under their clothes too. I use a once a day formula so I can happily forget it and not worry if they change or have thin tops on etc, its easier all round than worrying about missing bits.

Show us one case of a neighbour being sued for putting sun cream on a child. Or not doing. Or anything even remotely similar.
I'm betting you can't. I call bullshit.

I think neighbour may have asked and op's dd has said yes, as she did have it on (albeit, arms, legs, face) not thinking that neighbour meant all over. Both have made a mistake... It's unfortunate but no one is to blame. Chalk it up to an experience.