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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be disappointed that she let my DD burn...

107 replies

momb · 10/07/2013 15:20

my Dd is 8 and has never had sunburn, until this Sunday.
We were at a music festival over the weekend and were all hatted, creamed and wearing shirts.
When we got home DD went to call for her friend next door and was invited in. 2 hours later she is home crying because her back is bright red and really hot. They had been playing in the paddling pool and had stripped down to their knickers. I have no issue with them playing in the water, but if they were over here I'd put shirts on them and/or smother them in cream.
I'm very disappointed and actually quite cross with my neighbour. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
ihearsounds · 10/07/2013 16:24

Do you understand how sun safe clothing and spf works? Sun safe clothing does not offer full protection. nor does it mean you can sit all afternoon without the need to apply a top up with lotion. Then not all the clothing offers uva and uvb coverage.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/07/2013 16:26

momb

You know, the more I think about it, the more neglectful I think the neighbour was. Whilst a child is in her care, she is responsible for its wellbeing. And that, at the very least should mean asking if she has sun cream on. If she'd do that for her own child, she should do it for hers

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee · 10/07/2013 16:27

I wouldnt be annoyed with the neighbour one bit.

Id be pissed off with myself for not very simply passing a bottle of suncream over the fence to my own child, or checking that my child had cream on.

People nowadays are too quick to blame others for things that are their own doing. Everything is always someone elses fault Hmm

mynameisslimshady · 10/07/2013 16:28

Maybe she did ask and ops dd said she did have suncream on.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/07/2013 16:29

ThToys

Did you read the OPs last response?

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee · 10/07/2013 16:31

Just have, and yours, and my point still stands.

RestingUnderTheSun · 10/07/2013 16:32

The thing is your neighbour had no way to know that your dd would react so strongly to the sun. She might have done what she does for her dd who doesn't get sunburned easily.

Fwiw, I have on dc who is very blond, pale skin etc... but never gets even red. The other who has a darker complexion and gets sunburnt very quickly. from the outside, you would want to take precausion staright away with one (but he doesn't need it) and not the other who does.

PurpleRayne · 10/07/2013 16:33

My skin cancer as an adult was linked to the sunburn I had as a child.
We're supposed to be better educated about these things today! If the skin is burning then it is being damaged.

JenaiMorris · 10/07/2013 16:34

I would have been more attentive than the neighbour BUT that's because I burn easily (unlike ds Hmm ) and so am hyper aware. A good friend of my mum "let" me burn horribly - the poor woman was desperately upset as she had no idea how sensitive my skin was (also nobody really bothered about these things in the 70s unless they were absurdly pale skinned, like me).

I wonder if you neighbour's children are just not burners - a lot of people just don't appreciate how quickly some of us frazzle.

Your daughter needs to take some responsibility, as do you, as does your neighbour - but I wouldn't be too hard on any of you. These things happen.

ihearsounds · 10/07/2013 16:35

Also the neighbour might have thought before letting your dd out she had suncream on.. 20 minutes before going out applications and all that... Or the neighbour asking and because she had been at a festival your dd saying well yes i have some on.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/07/2013 16:35

Fair point Jenai and Resting

RobotBananas · 10/07/2013 16:35

FGS, all the clothes I own stop me burning, even if I'm in the sun for hours. It would have to be a very flimsy fabric to allow skin to burn.

CloudsAndTrees · 10/07/2013 16:39

I would expect an 8yo to know that they needed cram on if they were stripping off tbh, so I think this is six of one and half a dozen of the other.

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee · 10/07/2013 16:41

Lots to do, not enough time. A child calls round for an impromptu visit, neighbour takes the opportunity of her DC being occupied to get a few things done. Wouldn't think to check if someone elses child had cream on.

One of those things. If it was me Id only be annoyed with myself.

5madthings · 10/07/2013 16:41

Well I wouldn't let someone else's child take their T-shirt off if I didn't know thus and sun scream on, I would have said keep your top on or go home and get suncream. So o think your neoghbour was unreasonable actually.

You put cream on the areas necessary and she went out with a t.shirt on so no cream under it. Yes your dd could have asked/mentioned it but she is eight and was excited playing in the paddling pool with a friend. The adult should have checked.

KobayashiMaru · 10/07/2013 16:48

At 8 years old I would expect a child to be able to say they needed cream, and to ask for some or to go home and get some cream on them. If not I would have checked myself what they were doing and is they needed more cream.

katydid02 · 10/07/2013 16:48

YABU. If they are next door to your house then you know they are playing in the paddling pool and can tell your DD to put sun cream on.

Justforlaughs · 10/07/2013 16:53

Bearing in mind the OP states that the DD was hatted, creamed and wearing shirts. all day, the neighbour may well have asked if she had suncream on . Answer - Yes, she did. The neighbour would not have thought to check that she had suncream on her torso, and when it was applied. Make sure next time, that your DD knows that she needs cream on regularly. I remember my DS going to the beach with a friend for a day and coming back like a lobster. She was adamant that she had applied suncream (I'd given it to her) every hour and he had his shirt on most of the time, but he's never burnt before and hasn't done so since, i was fuming. Unfortunately these things happen, chalk it up to experience, learn from it and make your DD as comfortable as you can. Hopefully it'll calm down quite quickly.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 10/07/2013 17:06

katydid

Did you read the OP's last response?

McNewPants2013 · 10/07/2013 17:07

Thetoys so you wouldn't supervise an 8 year old in a pool out the garden.

I think the neighbour should of checked to see if the child was allowed in the pool and if so is she safe to be left unattended.

That way the op would have know to put cream on.

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee · 10/07/2013 17:11

A pool yes.

A paddling pool? No.

KobayashiMaru · 10/07/2013 17:13

Why would you supervise an 8 year old in a paddling pool? Hmm
Why should any have?

McNewPants2013 · 10/07/2013 17:13

What's the difference between the 2.

KobayashiMaru · 10/07/2013 17:13

anyone even.

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee · 10/07/2013 17:15

I think the OP should have thought to check if her own child needed sun cream.

But I do appear to be a bit weird in thinking its not on to blame someone else for my own cock up.