to get my cat put to sleep?

[BionicEmu]

I am so torn over this, so would appreciate some brutally honest replies.

We have 3 cats & a dog, all of which we've taken in when they were in need of a home.

I'm really struggling with one of the cats though. We've had him 15 years now, no idea how old he is but he was a fully-grown adult when we got him.

He pees all over the place. It started a few years ago when he'd very occasionally pee somewhere other than his litter tray. Over the past few years it's snowballed, and now he is peeing elsewhere several times a day. Commonly in the dining room, but also in front of the front door, in the hallway and in the living room. Even on DD's baby play gym & on DC's toys sometimes. He's missing a back leg so it's not just a puddle, he drags his tail & remaining leg through it, smearing it behind him as he walks.

I have spinal problems and a couple of weeks ago slipped on a puddle in the kitchen that I hadn't noticed and fell, hard. Was in immense pain & immobile for a week. 2.5 year old DS has also occasionally slipped in it when I haven't cleaned it up properly, resulting in hysterics - fair enough. DD is 5 months old & will be crawling soon.

I just can't cope with him any more. The children & I slipping in it is dangerous. I don't invite anybody to the house because I know it stinks. I clean it up as soon as I see it, but it's just too much & too often. I've been struggling with PND since DD, & was admitted to hospital for a while too.

Over the years I've tried everything that I can think of/that I've heard of/that I've been told and nothing's helped.

So took him to vet out of desperation & she thinks the only option is to put him to sleep. Health-wise he is in brilliant health for his age though. He's slowed down a bit, but then I think everything physical is more difficult for him due to the missing back leg. He doesn't run about like he used to, I think he's starting to get a bit stiff, but he's always been a lap cat anyway.

I just don't know what to do. Part of me thinks that yes, I need to put him to sleep, the peeing situation is unacceptable now. But the other part of me thinks that I'm being incredibly selfish - he's a healthy cat, and part of the family.

Sorry for the length of this, thought I should probably add some detail so people can appreciate the situation fully. I need some honest opinions, please.

Tyler - no. I haven't yet as she has seemed otherwise healthy. But I lifted her today and she felt thinner - I think maybe her thyroid needs checking.

If it's causing any problems then I shan't go for prolonged treatment as my mum's cat ended up a zombie on pills for years and my mum couldn't bring herself to PTS through guilt...it's no way to live imo.

I think mine is just getting old really. I'll see how it goes keeping her out at night, and if it works then maybe we'll stick with that for a while.

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's taken the time to reply.

Logically, I think it is time to let him go before he starts suffering more. We can't carry on like this, for everybody's quality of life. I hadn't thought about how it can't be nice for him to get into a state with pee either. He is starting to show his age I guess too - he certainly doesn't run or climb any more. He's actually the oldest cat I've ever had! Realistically he can't go on forever, so he's going to go in the next couple of years anyway, I guess we should do it now while he still has happy, peaceful times & my memories of him are good.

Logically, I know that, but emotionally I'm struggling!

I was wondering if I was being completely unreasonable or not, that's why I posted here. It's really helped to have some objective & honest replies, so thank you.

You know him best and if you feel it's time then don't feel bad. You have loved him and taken care if him and this isn't a boredom or laziness thing. Cats hate being dirty and living in mess and I agree that he's probably not happy if he's doing all this. his last days can be at home rather than a shelter. Better for both of you if it's done calmly and with love while you can both remember what you meant to each other. X

I'm normally a lurker and not a poster on AIBU, but felt compelled to post on here. I think YANBU in getting him PTS. There is obviously a problem and I believe it's kindest to let him go than keep him going. It would be so much more stressful, for him and you, for him to go into Cats Protection - they are undoubtedly a fabulous charity, but at his age the chances of adoption are slimand after living in your home I doubthe would cope with it well. Let him go with kindness and dignity - when you do that is your choice, you will know when the time is right, but don't feel guilty about it, it's giving him the kindest end.

I remember years ago one of my cats went the same. The vet said she had feline dementia and the kindest think to do was to put her to sleep. She was weeing and pooing all over and as she was used to being clean, it really distressed her.

I cried a lot, but the vet said it would only get worse and she would get more upset.

I'm so sorry you are having to make this decision.

I think you know the decision you need to make.I suggest picking a date,maybe in a couple of weeks,and spoiling him rotten in the meantime.

We have exactly the same problem. Our cat is 20 and has been soiling in the house for a long time. We have fitted a cat flap but she will only use it during the day, at night she goes in the house. We limit her access in the house but it is driving me mad.
We found out she has thyroid problems as she was very poorly (even said our goodbyes as thought the vet would pts) however the vet said he wouldn't do it as he felt she didn't need it. So now she is on expensive medication and the problem continues.
Am in the same boat op as cant face doing it but she is very old and not very mobile any more, however the vet made me feel like a murderer for even contemplating it.

brown wow 20 that's incredible. You know your cat best and you have Clearly looked after her well. Don't ever feel like a murderer for trying to do what's best!!!

I think you have done really well OP. I am a cat lover and hjave three but in your shoes I would PTS. As a thought, if I end up incontinent and with senile dementia - peeing all over my home - I hope I have the choice to end it and someone to jelp me legally. We Brits at present are indeed far kinder to our animals than our loved ones.

Good luck OP

Brownster if you have a catflap you might like to try doing what we did. My 17 year old cat is also fine in the day, but messes the house at night if she has access. The solution my DH came up with has worked a treat. We are all much happier. (Only downside, when we go away on holiday we have to pay someone to come in twice a day instead of once, so she can be put in and out of her box!).

Our cat also had this problem - The vet diagnosed him with Hyperthyroid over a year ago now. Takes medication twice a day. He has been happy and well, and virtually no accidents in that time. I was pretty amazed that it could make that much difference. (£50 a month on tablets though)

I've been lurking for a couple of weeks but felt I had to sign up to reply to your post BionicEmu.

I'm sorry that you are in this predicament but I do think YABU to have the cat put to sleep. You said in your opening post he is healthy and he obviously still enjoys his life with you. When we take on animals we accept that as they get older they may have undesirable behaviours, and I know you are a responsible owner to not have moved him on to someone else already.

If all tests (full blood work, urine sample testing etc) to investigate if this is a medical problem have been carried out it must be a behavioural problem. Most behavioural problems can be corrected, although admittedly it will be more challenging that this habit has gone on for some time.

Does he ever use his litter tray? When you clean up accidents do you use any products? Biological washing powder is an excellent neutraliser. If he can smell cat wee then he will mark the same place. I do sympathise as a couple of my cats began inappropriate toileting following a house move. They are getting on but otherwise happy and healthy, and the problem went away after a couple of months of persistent cleaning of accident spots, more frequent litter changes, using a better type of cat litter and physically putting them in the tray to get them back into the habit. We also limited their space as a short term measure and it definitely helped. Putting your cat in the kitchen, at least while you try to resolve this, is a far better prospect of a life than no life at all IMHO.

When you feel annoyed at his behaviour (and it is very frustrating) please try to remember all the love and affection he has offered your family over the years.

YANBU, its sad but he won't know a thing about it

Yanbu

He has had a long life with you and been very much loved. If you isolated him in a shed he would feel abandoned and confused. A three legged, incontinent 15+ year old cat would be very difficult to rehome.

This is not an occasional accident or a puppy not yet housetrained, it's an ongoing problem that's been steadily getting worse over a long period of time.

I think the kindest thing is to put him to sleep