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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think parents should watch their children more closely at beach

55 replies

BlingLoving · 08/07/2013 22:12

Spent afternoon at beach today. Was lovely. But aibu to think that if you have a child under 5 you should not let them play in water alone? One boy, about 3/4 was splashing around all the way to his neck,and kept approaching dh and I while his dad wasn't even watching. Another boy, slightly older,maybe 5 was also splashing around. His carer was so uninvolved neither dh not I were even able to figure out who he was with.

I found it quite stressful because I couldn't ell watching out for them because I was so nervous they'd get into trouble and the parents wouldn't notice or would be tok far away.

Aibu or just a judgy pants?

OP posts:
HeySoulSister · 08/07/2013 22:15

Why under 5? Why do you think under 5's need closer supervision than any other child?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 08/07/2013 22:16

The OP never specified that under 5s should get more attention Soul she just pointed out how young the boys were. YANBU OP. I would have taken him to his Dad and said "He's on his own out there and it's not safe."

RubyGoat · 08/07/2013 22:18

YANBU. That's awful. Can't believe some people can be so careless with their kids. There could be unknown currents, sharp things in the sand, quite aside from possible danger from strangers.

Wonderstuff · 08/07/2013 22:19

YANBU I hate when I feel compelled to look out for strangers children. The sea is just so dangerous. People who don't insist on holding hands with under 4s near roads bug me too.

Damash12 · 08/07/2013 22:19

YANBU. My Ds is nearly 5 and I certainly wouldn't let him be in the water on his own. I'm assuming your referring to a uk beach? Well, aside from getting into difficulty, I'd like to keep an eye out for what he could be inadvertently swallowing iykwim!!

HumphreyCobbler · 08/07/2013 22:20

I find the beach bloody stressful tbh, I just can't relax for checking the children. I wouldn't let mine anywhere near the water on their own.

I am so paranoid though, it is hard to tell if I am reasonable or not.

HeySoulSister · 08/07/2013 22:23

Op specified under fives

What magically happens when they turn 5? They suddenly are ok to be left to it? Why under 4's holding hands near roads? Where do you pluck these ages from?

I find it interesting before anyone asks..... And worry about my teens and older children in the sea just as much as an 'under five'

NoComet · 08/07/2013 22:25

How do you know a parent isn't watching, I've left DD2 from 5 ish play in the shallows and on the range of the sand on calm Majorcan beaches while I have a swim.

I still kept an eye on her and she could swim very well.

NoComet · 08/07/2013 22:27

Yes I still try and keep an eye on them now they are 12 & 15, but DD1 dons a mask and snorkel and amends more time under the water than above it.

NoComet · 08/07/2013 22:28

Soends

FunnysInLaJardin · 08/07/2013 22:28

yes, how do you know the parent isn't watching? We went to our local beach on Sunday and the DC aged 3 and 7 were in the sea. I was watching them from my spot up the beach and so it may have looked like they were alone. They weren't. I was less than 10 secs away from them. I would watch out for your own children and try not to worry about other peoples. I don't Grin

NoComet · 08/07/2013 22:31

Spends (proof reading is not my strong point tonight)

mumnotmachine · 08/07/2013 22:32

A 14 yo is being searched for at a beach local to me.....the dangers are there whatever the age of the child

steppemum · 08/07/2013 22:34

wonderstuff

I didn't hold my dcs hands near the road, for the simple reason that they wouldn't and didn't step off the kerb, they walked along it all the time and stayed on the pavement. (well, maybe not at 18 months, but certainly at 2 1/2 or 3)
Kids and situations are different

I have been on a beach and closely watching my dc, but from my towel, not necessarily where you would notice me.
On the other hand, I can well believe they were unsupervised and in danger Sad

AuntieStella · 08/07/2013 22:38

Children need supervision in and near water.

Now that my youngest is 9, I will let them go together to a life-guarded beach. But this year is the first time. And I suspect I'll still find myself going in with them.

LookingForwardToMarch · 08/07/2013 22:39

Yanbu

I had fish some poor little lad out by his legs (about 5yrs old)

Poor thing was so jammed into his rubber ring that when a wave tipped him he got stuck upside down!

Have you ever tried to run through thigh high water! His legs were kicking slower and slower...

Fished him out and started walking to the life guard hut (lad was ok just shaken)

His mum asked him where he had been as we walked past her. She had been quite a way back from the sea, sun bathing.

I suggested that she better take more care with her son as he had just almost drowned. She became quite the attentive mother then.

LookingForwardToMarch · 08/07/2013 22:41

That happened two years ago...

Still have a mini panic attack when I see rubber rings

(shudder)

Childcareisscary · 08/07/2013 22:42

I went to the beach recently, and though I watched my son like a hawk, twice when I simply turned he took the opportunity to run back into the sea. He loved it so much, he simply ran off and he knows better and never does that type of thing normally. Luckily for both of us, the sea was out and he had to go a pretty long distance to get to the sea, by which point I had fortunately found him.
The point I want to make is, I would appreciate other parents looking out for him. Yes it's my responsibility and I did watch him for the entire 8 hours, but I slipped up twice and I'm grateful for another pair of eyes.

To OP, it's nice you care, but I wouldn't tell off the parents, since child might be able to swim or they may be keeping eye out. However, I think as parents it's important we keep eye out for other peoples kids too. Not overly protective, but just being aware of them. Well I would appreciate it anyway, on hear doesn't appear others would necessarily.

steppemum · 08/07/2013 22:43

yes rubber rings are lethal, I hate them, since I have seen kids flip over int he pool and get stuck in, they are then held in drowning position!

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 08/07/2013 22:47

mumnotmachine we must live close to each other. The search has now been called off Sad. This has happened on a beach with RNLI patrols.

Beaches and the sea in particular are dangerous places. They don't suddenly get safer when children hit the age of 5.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 08/07/2013 22:53

YANBU neither of mine can swim yet and so I wouldnt leave them alone in water.

Doesnt surprise me though that other people do. Came back from holiday abroad last month and the amount of people letting their very young children jump in the pool while they sunbathed (so lying down either face up or face down, therefore couldnt see their DC very clearly or at all) was shocking. Maybe if the children could swim it wouldnt be so much of an issue but all these children I saw had on arm bands or similar so most likely couldnt swim.

Preciousbane · 08/07/2013 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsPotato · 08/07/2013 22:56

Urgh

We live near the beach and this constantly happens. Invariably a child whose parents can't be arsed attaches themself to us. At least they're safe as I actually watch my children in the sea. It knocks me off my feet at times so what chance would an unsupervised young child have?

steppemum · 08/07/2013 22:57

We always insist on armbands on ours if they can't swim, even if we are close by. It is too easy on the beach to slip in the see or be knocked over by a wave.

steppemum · 08/07/2013 22:57

or even the sea

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