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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think parents should watch their children more closely at beach

55 replies

BlingLoving · 08/07/2013 22:12

Spent afternoon at beach today. Was lovely. But aibu to think that if you have a child under 5 you should not let them play in water alone? One boy, about 3/4 was splashing around all the way to his neck,and kept approaching dh and I while his dad wasn't even watching. Another boy, slightly older,maybe 5 was also splashing around. His carer was so uninvolved neither dh not I were even able to figure out who he was with.

I found it quite stressful because I couldn't ell watching out for them because I was so nervous they'd get into trouble and the parents wouldn't notice or would be tok far away.

Aibu or just a judgy pants?

OP posts:
Wonderstuff · 08/07/2013 22:59

I agree with Childcareisscary though I also think that it gets really dangerous is when there are lots of adults in the party and everyone thinks someone else is watching..

4 because that is when I started trusting dd to not run into the road, ds is nearly three and I don't trust him yet, maybe 3.5? But I have seen small children run into the road on school run and still there parent allow them to run ahead.

Road accidents and drowning, number one and two causes of accidental death in children aren't they?

DorisIsWaiting · 08/07/2013 23:02

YANBU we live near the sea and it horrifies me how little understanding some people have of the danger. Halfway up a beach does not constitute supervision, you can do nothing if your child is pulled under.

katykuns · 08/07/2013 23:09

My DD is nearly 7 and I got quite anxious letting her collect water from the shallow bit in her bucket that I watched her like a hawk. She can't swim, but even if she could I wouldn't let her swim without me in the water nearby.

As for rubber rings, my sister nearly drowned upside down in one and I have never been tempted to go anywhere near one.

KhaosandKalamity · 09/07/2013 07:54

How scary. I don't understand how parents can think this is ok, I have seen the threads on here about how no one would leave their child in the bath alone for even a moment, but think that being meters up the beach will be fine.

We are also surrounded by water here and there are always water safety campaigns running, basically saying if they are not within arms reach they are not supervised. It only takes seconds to be pulled under, and if they wander into a rip there is no way you could run and swim to them in time.

Though I am a bit paranoid, I love the beach, but as a teenager almost drowned in less than 10cm of water. I fell over getting out of the water and every time I tried to stand up another wave would push me under, even with my aunt pulling on me and trying to help me stand it took well over a minute to get up, and I was close to blacking out by that point.

TwllBach · 09/07/2013 08:09

I live in a tourist spot and have stopped going to the beach in peak season because I get so antsy about people not watching their children. I just can't understand it. We live on a smallish island and we run water safety lessons every year in every class in our school.

TwllBach · 09/07/2013 08:10

I also nearly drowned in a biggish rock pool as a child - it just suddenly dropped away from my feet and I couldn't kick against the bottom or reach the surface. My mother was right there with me and didn't realise I was under for a good few seconds because she was chatting to another man there. I still remember the panic I felt under the water, kicking my legs and searching for something to kick against.

MrsMelons · 09/07/2013 08:21

I was at the beach last summer when a mum had let their 3 year old out in a rubber dingy with their teenage sibling, they got into trouble and a man drowned saving them. The children were ok but the man died and left behind his wife and children. So so sad, children should never be allowed to swim in the sea without an adult and rubber rings/dingys should not be allowed at all as we have very strong currents!!

Jossysgiants · 09/07/2013 08:27

Yanbu. There is a massive difference between the shallows in the sea and a kids swimming pool. The sea can be dangerous for anyone but particularly for a tiny non-swimmer. I wonder if there is something about being in a holiday environment that makes people choose to take risks they perhaps wouldn't otherwise take. In my home town it was sometimes terrifying to drive around the streets because of the number of grockles spilling into the road. After all you can't get run over on holiday. Nor can you drown.

Hasitfallendownagain · 09/07/2013 08:29

YANBU. At 5 and 2, mine are too young for me not to be there, although I would consider letting the 5 year old splash in the shallows while I watched from nearby. But I'd want to be right next to the 2 year old.

As far as holding hands by roads - my children are very well behaved and I would be 99.9% certain they wouldn't step off the kerb. But they could still trip and roll into the road, or drop something they were holding and dart into the road, or be distracted looking at something and step into the road...

saintlyjimjams · 09/07/2013 08:34

You would be amazed at the number of young ,kids who are body boarding alone. It's bloody dangerous IMO. I came across one last year when I was surfing who was about 8, out of his depth & drifting out. I offered him a tow back in but he refused. Just as I was about to insist a surf instructor came over & moved him back words shore while telling him not to go out of his depth. But it happens all the time. I think parents just have no idea how easy it is to get into trouble in the sea - and they have no idea how to spot a rip from the shore so no chance of teaching their kids.

EDMNWiganSalfordandBlackpool · 09/07/2013 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thegreylady · 09/07/2013 08:37

When my dgs was three his mum and dad were paddling with him in France. He was between them when a wave unbalanced him and the undertow swept him out of his depth in seconds. Fortunately his daddy was so near he was able to get to him very quickly. If they had been watching from a towel they may have lost him. It was a safe family beach and the wave wasn't even huge. They will never forget it.

VikingVagine · 09/07/2013 08:46

YANBU

EDMNWiganSalfordandBlackpool · 09/07/2013 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bakingaddict · 09/07/2013 09:39

I agree if you have young children watch them closely if they are in the water, the sea in unpredictable. If you are further up the beach away from them the minutes you take getting to your child can be the difference between a minor accident or a tragedy

Mumsyblouse · 09/07/2013 09:43

I think what the OP is suggesting is that under 5 (ish), the parents should actually be in the water, as opposed to way up the beach. It is very sad about the 14 year old, but you wouldn't expect to accompany a teen into the water on all occasions, even though I agree they are at risk especially if they drink/don't know the currents/may swim out too far.

NoComet · 09/07/2013 10:39

The most frightening experience I ever had, in the sea, was with a full grown adult man not a child.

Swimming of a Cornish beach, big waves, strong undertow. Very borderline day to be swimming.

I was being very cautious to check I could get back against the current. When a large man called for help. Fortunately a lad with a surf board swam over and toed him in. No way could I have helped.

The lad said he was the third person he'd helped.

BetsyBell · 09/07/2013 10:50

I had no idea rubber rings were so dangerous Hmm Are armbands better? My kids haven't spent much time in the sea but we have 2 beach holidays coming up. They are both reasonable swimmers (though not used to the sea) and we will be supervising properly but I'd also like us all to feel happy, safe and be able to enjoy ourselves!

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 09/07/2013 10:54

You used to be able to buy flotation devices on eBay from china which were like rubber rings that went around the neck and held your head above water that way, didn't look too comfortable though! Me and DH take it in turns to go down to the water with them as yes it is easy to assume the other is watching them if you haven't specified

saintlyjimjams · 09/07/2013 14:16

If you want to be safe on the beach learn to spot a rip from the beach, and learn how to get out of one.

doingthesplitz · 09/07/2013 16:24

Even if you're watching your very small children from a distance, other people don't know that and it is natural, if a young child seems to be in the water unattended to feel obliged to keep an eye out in case something happens to them. Just make it a bit obvious that you're their parent/minder and the situation is under control. That way, everyone can relax.

Pixieonthemoor · 09/07/2013 16:42

It's not just the water you have to watch for on the beach though. Every year some kid dies from digging a deep hole and the sides collapsing or tunnelling into a sand bank or dune and the tunnel collapsing. They cant be dug out in time, the sand keeps falling back and they suffocate. Every fucking year. It makes me so bloody cross. Just how stupid are these people?? Angry Sad

KirjavaTheCat · 09/07/2013 16:48

I wouldn't dream of doing my own thing while my children were swimming, whatever age they were. I've seen firsthand how quickly and quietly things can go wrong if you turn your back for a minute.

softlysoftly · 09/07/2013 16:50

Yanbu mumnotmachine we were on that beach yesterday and they were searching the low tide line, so sad :(

I'm afraid dd1 (3) ran off into the sea before I could stash her back and got a resound telling off and a warning using the lost girl as an example. Still not sure I did the right thing but it's so so dangerous.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 09/07/2013 16:58

10 seconds away is too long. You don't know what dangers are hiding in the water. Hidden currents, rip tides, sudden drop offs, freak waves. Grown adults die or disappear, there were 2 little girls who died within a week of each other last year. Add to that, strangers on crowded beaches...