Children not invited to wedding - I'm not going either!

[ruby1234]

My DC have not been invited to our DNiece's wedding.

Background: DNiece is the DD of my DH sister.
We are not especially close, as DH is 10 years older than his DS and they did not grow up together. Our DC's from both sides are not friends as such, and have not seen each other for a few years.
DNiece is getting married at a small country manor house later in the year. There are only going to be 40 guests at the ceremony and wedding lunch, as this is the maximum amount of guests the wedding ceremony room can accommodate. There is an evening do afterwards with a band, disco and hog roast for 120 guests.
We knew the wedding date a long time in advance, and told DH'sis that we could only go to the daytime as we have a 30th birthday party to go to in the evening.
The invitations have arrived, and while me and DH are invited to the whole wedding including the evening, our DC's have only been invited to the evening - even though DH'sis knows none of us can go to the evening because of the other party.
My DH'mum says that due to only 40 guests being invited, once bridesmaids, parents, aunts, uncles and close friends have been invited there is not room for the 13 cousins (and partners) on both sides of the family, so the decision was taken not to invite any cousins to the day, just to the evening. (None of the cousins are close).
I have sent a no thanks reply for all of us for the whole wedding as I think that families should stick together at times like this, and that all of us should have been invited to the day, especially when they already knew we had other plans for the evening.
My DC are 28 and 22.

My DH'mum thinks we are being unreasonable to not go at all, and none of the other cousins or aunts/uncles seem to be miffed at the rebuff.

AIBU to say no?

[squoosh]

As all posts are but with added deceit.

[Trills]

I agree with Pag. You can't properly present someone else's view of their own reasonableness.

[kali110]

You do sound like yabvu. Your children are not kids so dont need a baby sitter. Not only would it cost so much extra money for all the cousins, there isn't room for them all. Rather than pick some cousins over others not inviting them all sounds like the fairest. If you dont want to go thats fair enough but sounds like your using your children not being invited as an excuse.

[Dackyduddles]

Your sil is two stops past barking.

I'd be thrilled her and offspring weren't attending.

Snorted coffee thru nose at ages!

[trackies]

I agree with you OP (the bride that is). People seem to think just cos they share some genetic material with you, that they are entitled to all sort of recognition. If they have declined, at least they are saving you money.

[Euclase]

YABVU

[trackies]

sorry i meant i agree that 22 and 28 year old cousins who are not close should not be invited and stupid to get annoyed about it

[kali110]

Just saw last post ruby. Thank your lucky stars they aren't going as sounds like you've had a lucky escape!enjoy your wedding

[Jan49]

YABU for the reverse AIBU.

The guests who are going to a 30th birthday party instead clearly see the birthday as more important than the wedding so they can't really complain about not all being invited.

But I think it's a bit annoying to invite guests to only part of the wedding. I don't think I'd bother to go if I was invited just to the evening.

[QuintessentialOldDear]

I really think reverse aibus are a waste of time, and taking the piss of posters you are deceiving.

[Jan49]

I LOL'd at "two stops past Barking". I just looked it up and that would be Becontree.

[holidaysarenice]

Do you not have childcare for your 22 and 28 year olds?

Or would you like the bride and groom to leave their parents at home to accomodate your children?

[Panzee]

I quite like reverse AIBUs. It often weeds out who hasn't read the whole thread. :o

[HorizontalRunningOnly]

YabridiculouslyU. Your 'children' are grown adults who are more than capable of getting to the weddin exception in their own r in fact planning their own social lives I'm surprises they didn't receive their own invites. How pathetic of u to miss ur nieces intimate and special day for absolutely no reason!

[RandomMess]

Got to be a reverse AIBU

[Doingakatereddy]

Reverse AIBU. my arse, that's five minutes of my life I'll never get back.

I'd rather play with the kids than read this nonsense

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

It is a reverse AIBU, HorizontalRunning.

[MissStrawberry]

Why do you want to go to a wedding of someone you are not close too? Makes a mockery of you saying families "should stick together at times like this" when you don't bother with them for the rest of the time.

YABU and professionally offended.

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

I quite like a reverse AIBU.

[decaffwithcream]

"I think reverse AIBUs should be against talk guidelines.

They are so fucking annoying."

I can't express just how much I second this.

What is the point of them? Why pretend to be someone else in a situation you are not in?

I don't get the justification of using a reverse AIBU to "see if the answers were any different" as how do you know what the answers would have been if you posted honestly?

I don't believe the justification about reversing it in order to be more objective. How can it be objective when it's composed by the other party?

It's like asking your opponent in court if you can present their case as you want to see how the jury react to it in order to work out if you're in the right. And telling them you'll definitely put their point of view across against yourself.

[TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff]

I enjoy reverse AIBUs. Pointless though, but I like them.

[MissStrawberry]

I post before reading the whole thread sometimes (short term memory is shot) so probably look daft now there has been the big reveal .

Have reported your post Tee and suggested why you are right to MNHQ .

[ruby1234]

Apologies to those who find reverse AIBU so annoying - I really didn't mean it to be like that.

My SIL is really getting to me with her stance on this, she is so adamant that blood is thicker than water and that family members should come first to the point I was beginning to think I was wrong.

I am glad she's not coming to the wedding.

Sorry again.

[RoxyFox211]

Yabu imo

[LemonBreeland]

This is almost the same thing as happened at my DBs wedding. He invited Aunts, Uncles and cousins but an Aunt took umbrage that early 20s cousins bf had not been invited. DB had never met him and was having a small wedding.

Aut declined for the whole family as db would not do as she wished. She offered to pay for his meal etc. not getting the point it was a small wedding.