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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be kicking ourselves for making such a stupid decision & wishing we could change it.

59 replies

Fruitstick · 06/07/2013 19:36

We sold our house in London at the height of the financial crisis.

We wanted to leave as had new baby and toddler. House was small, worry about schools etc.

Everyone told us that we may never be able to sell if we didn't get out. Housing market was in freefall etc etc

Have just received email to say, 4 years later it sold for £300k more. Up 50%.

Hmm

We were idiots. What were we thinking. We moved up north and our current house as gone up £10k in that time.

I know it's only money, and hindsight is a wonderful thing but it's making me feel sick to think of it.

I feel we fucked up massively.

Please make me feel better

OP posts:
EvieanneVolvic · 06/07/2013 19:37

But how has the rest of it worked out for you? It isn't all about money after all!

aftermay · 06/07/2013 19:38

It's an anomaly. I don't know how many other properties have increased so much in the meantime. You couldn't have predicted it.

Mouthfulofquiz · 06/07/2013 19:38

Just think - the money was never yours. You didn't have it and you didn't lose it. The folk you sold it to might have done loads and loads to it.
Don't think about it any more! (Easier said than done i know!)

mummymeister · 06/07/2013 19:38

no you did not screw up massively. do you have a better life now, nicer schools, better surroundings, friends and family etc. if yes then any one of these is worth more than a house. you are all healthy? be thankful for the things you have rather than what you don't.

Yorkie1990 · 06/07/2013 19:39

I'm guessing you made a packet on it, entirely unearned, regardless. To be sad at only having an unearned windfall of £10k when millions of people are priced out of the property market because of attitudes like yours is in pretty poor taste.

JamNan · 06/07/2013 19:39

Think of your quality of life especially for your children. It's not about money.

BOF · 06/07/2013 19:41

Easy come, easy go- it's the only way to look at it. I've certainly made decisions which, with the 20/20 vision of hindsight, were pretty abysmal.

It's simply luck. You wouldn't say that our kids have been stupid because they happened to be born after the era of free higher education.

Capitalism screws most people, otherwise it wouldn't be capitalism.

Original poster
Fruitstick · 06/07/2013 19:41

Actually Yorkie we didn't make a penny.

Sold it for £5k less than we paid.

But I know I'm lucky to have a house at all.

Thank you all for putting it into perspective.

I just needed to let it out.

OP posts:
Mouthfulofquiz · 06/07/2013 19:41

Yorkie - that's hardly the OP's fault is it? Jees. Bitter much?

Gruntfuttocks · 06/07/2013 19:41

Who sent you the email? Tell them to fuck the fuck off. Then get over yourself.

TheCrackFox · 06/07/2013 19:42

But are you actually happy with your life? You must have had some reason to move North? It is only a disaster if you still pine for London.

3littlefrogs · 06/07/2013 19:43

Are you happy where you are now?

Are the schools good?

Does your income cover your outgoings?

Are you happy in your employment?

At the end of the day we all make the best decision for us at the time.

The size of your house would have been the same, the worries about the school would have been the same had you not moved..

The price rises in London only benefit you if you are moving out and going elsewhere in the country. Had you stayed you might not have been able to get jobs elsewhere in the current climate, and moving to a bigger house in London to accommodate your family would still have cost you more than you would have sold your original house for.

Our house is worth 8 times what we paid for it. Still wouldn't buy me anything bigger or better anywhere in an area I would want to live in.

BettyandDon · 06/07/2013 19:44

Parts of London have been somewhat immune to the housing crisis. The house opposite us rose in value £200k since 2007 to £540k. I am not surprised you are gutted but maybe you have forgotten the reasons you moved. What if you were allocated a terrible school for example? You could always move back if you are after a big investment...

Yorkie1990 · 06/07/2013 19:44

People believing in the property market as a get rich quick scheme is the root of its problems and the OP is part of that problem. If believing this country needs to focus on creating wealth by actually doing something productive instead of selling houses at higher prices to each other makes me bitter so be it. Although I already own a house, I just have empathy for those stuck in expensive rentals forever.

TSSDNCOP · 06/07/2013 19:45

It could have dropped by 200k, lots of property has.

Then you'd really be cross.

If your new house is working out I think you have to shrug and have a Wine and forget about it.

kitbit · 06/07/2013 19:47

We had similar - moved abroad at the height then watched our house over there double in value...then halve. We sold it for less than we paid for it, and once the buyers fees were paid at the start plus all the selling fees and taxes when we left, we lost all the equity we left the country with and returned with just enough to put a deposit on s rental property.

We have several options: regret the c£120k we 'lost' that would have set us up in a great property over here, regret that we didn't stay here and sell at the height and have probably double that against a property now and a small mortgage (sigh), or accept that oh-my-god it could have been SO much worse - we came back with no debt and we live in a great place and ds is very happy at school with great mates.

You can choose how you feel about it, and there's no point regretting what 'isn't', that way madness lies :)

specialsubject · 06/07/2013 19:52

can you change this situation? No.
can you learn from it? not really, you don't have a crystal ball now and you didn't then.
so why worry about it?

Original poster
Fruitstick · 06/07/2013 19:53

Thanks kitbit Wink

Other things are good. School, friends etc.

However I gave up my very secure career which I'm also regretting as things are now obviously a lot tougher.

I'm trying to clamber back on ladder but it's not going well.

I think it's the mixture of the two I'm feeling sorry for myself about.

I have to remember the reasons for both were better lives for my children - which I'm confidant they have.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fruitstick · 06/07/2013 19:55

Special subject - those are wise words.

I may write them down Wink

OP posts:
piprabbit · 06/07/2013 19:55

15 years ago we sold our 2 bed terrace house and bought a 4 bed family home but in the process of house hunting we very seriously considered letting our 2 bed place and buying a 3 bed place instead.
We were put off by the fact that the rent would only just cover the mortgage on the 2 bed place and we would be very vulnerable to gaps between tentants.

With hindsight, if we'd gone down the letting route we would have be substantially better off than we are now and would probably have been able to take another step up the property ladder. I do kick myself a bit that we let our risk-averse natures talk ourselves out of a good idea.

But this is our home, the house I got married from, where I brought our babies home to. So in my heart I don't really regret it at all. "What ifs" can be poisonous.

Mouthfulofquiz · 06/07/2013 19:56

Oh my goodness Yorkie! I didn't read in the post that they were trying to get rich quick, just pondering what might have been. Different perspectives eh?

inabeautifulplace · 06/07/2013 20:02

12 years ago moved to a new area. Thought I'd live in a few different places first. Didn't get around to buying until 2008, just before prices took a dive. On a five year 5.5% fixed rate, just before trackers dipped to 0.5%. Still happy, I like where I live and I can afford it.

Tiredemma · 06/07/2013 20:03

Things like this really do happen all the time though don't they?

Last year DP got it into his head that if he didn't cash in his shares from work he would lose money. He cashed them in and got 9k back.

If he had waited just 8 more weeks we would have got about 30k back.

kim147 · 06/07/2013 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thurlow · 06/07/2013 20:10

We could have bought a house in London just before the price increase, and made a packet. But we were lazy and kept renting. And now struggled to buy a reasonable house in an ok area. DP beats himself up about this but I agree with the others - It's frustrating, but personally I don't believe there is anything to be gained from mulling over things you can't change. Learn any lessons that are there, and then move on.