To say no to being a Godmother

[ThisWayForCrazy]

Back story. BIL met a girl who had an ovulation app on her phone, convinced BIL (who is desperate for a family to TTC) and within 5 weeks of being together she got pregnant. As soon as she was pg she decided he would be a useless Dad and partner and walked away.

It is my nieces Christening this weekend. DH and I are driving half the country with our kids to be there in support of BIL. It has been hinted that we will be asked to be Godparents where we get there.

I want to say No. I am not going to see this child grow up, and will have no influence in her life whatsoever. I have nothing to do with her mother, the last time I encountered her I was told where to get off, having said nothing remotely wrong at all!

DH thinks I'm being silly and should accept this role gracefully.

Also, which perhaps sways this too, I am religious, the mother is not, so the whole Christening seems like a show to me.

Without commenting on your particular situation specifically, I refused to be my nephew and neice's Godmother when my sister asked as I don't attend church regularly, and didn't feel I could actually "do the job" and be a Godmother.
Just a stray thought too - are you Christened? you need to be to be a Godparent, so if you aren't, and need a "valid excuse" to refuse, that could be it maybe?

Oh well, it was a total set up! And a shambles. The whole family practically ignored us. We turned up and it was really obvious we were not welcome and just got glared at, I have no idea why on earth they invited us!!

I held my niece for less than a minute before being told "that's enough of that then" and by the three godparents (who were siblings and best friends) we were asked "Oh, I bet you thought you'd be asked and now your gutted/disappointed/sad" 'twas totally rehearsed!

Honestly can't get over how ridiculous this all was. I drove a total of 700 miles to be made to look a total twat.

Wont be making the same mistake again! But thank you for your comments.

I can't say I'm remotely surprised by anything in your update. Try and be there as much as you can for your niece and when she's old enough, hopefully she will want a relationship with you.

I hope so, she's a cutie

We will just pop some money in a savings account her Dad is setting up and send cards for her birthdays etc. if and when he gets her for a day/weekend we will try and get together.

you weren't made to look like a twat. The people who behaved badly were the ones who looked like twats.

You looked like nothing more than someone who had a 700 mile (round?) trip to attend her niece's christening.

Nothing about that makes you look like a twat.

Hecsy I totally agree. I hope that BIL gets more contact & you get to see her more and she will see you care.