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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think dh is a bit unhinged (parking related and a bit boring)

45 replies

TheWoodsAreScaryAtNight · 05/07/2013 10:41

The family across the road seem to be very close to their extended family. They always seem to be in and out of the house.
Often, there is picking up and dropping off by car and they often park across our drive whilst they wait. Even if there is space outside their house, they tend to park across our drive because its easier. We have driveways on both sides so its a nice clear space whilst they have a parked van next door.
Sometimes they are waiting 10-15mins.
Personally, I don't care. There's always someone in the car and they would move if we need access.

It drives dh mad.
He will go out if they've been there a while and make them move. Sometimes he just gets in the car as if to drive somewhere so they move. He'll get out and come back in once they have.
Sometimes he tells them.
Once he had a huge argument and shouting match about it with them and the fact that they still do it after that drives dh mental.
He's always looking out of the window if he notices cars outside.

I find his behaviour ridiculous and embarrassing. I tell him to just chill out and we end up having a row.

He thinks this would annoy most people and that I'm not normal.
He won't chill out about this and I think he's a bit deranged. It's actually become an issue in our relationship now as this occurs at least 3-4 times a week.

Would love to know what the majority think.

OP posts:
1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 05/07/2013 10:44

He's going to make himself Ill getting so stressed about something that really doesn't matter.

scarletforya · 05/07/2013 10:44

It would annoy me.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 05/07/2013 10:45

Is he at home a lot?

BlackeyedSusan · 05/07/2013 10:48

it would annoy me, but I would be tellling myself that they are in the car and are perfectly reasonable people who move if I need access and not to get stressed as it is not worth it.

TheWoodsAreScaryAtNight · 05/07/2013 10:48

No he's not at home a lot thank goodness - he'd definitely have a heart attack if he sees the amount of picking up and dropping off that occurs during the day!

OP posts:
CSIJanner · 05/07/2013 10:49

I have take away drives parking over mine. I don't mind that much as I know they'll be quick. The arse of a student house down the road however was different when they just parked over, blocking us in and then got hugely drunk so the car was still there in the morning (20minutes of banging on the door, the driver refusing to give me the keys to move it as he was over the limit, my offering to therefore have them towed...)

If they're going to move soon or are in the car, then HIBU as it isn't to difficult to them to move quickly, especially as it sounds like you have an alternate route out. If your husband has that much of problem, he can have a quiet calm word with the neighbours about where family park. 1Very is probably right - he'll make himself ill and fall out with the neighbours soon

EmmelineGoulden · 05/07/2013 10:51

It would probably irritate me a little, but if there is always someone in the car and they happily move when you get in your car then I think you're right and your DH is B(V)U and a bit unhinged.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 05/07/2013 11:31

So your DH will get into his car and drive somewhere random just to get them to move.

Confused
LimitedEditionLady · 05/07/2013 11:45

Is this a kind of territorial thing?

LastTangoInDevonshire · 05/07/2013 11:51

My neighbour is like this - 1" into his 'space' by the back gate and he is out prowling and harrumphing. 'Tis a male territory thing!

DontmindifIdo · 05/07/2013 11:51

It would annoy me. Can you not just knock on your neighbours door and politely ask them to ask their guests not to park across your drive?

TheWoodsAreScaryAtNight · 05/07/2013 11:56

70isalimit No, he'll mostly just get in the car and that's enough to make them move and he'll just get out again and come back in! No driving involved except maybe 3 feet up the drive.

Don'tmind we're beyond that. He's had a huge row with them (where I ended up crying!) about this. But in that case, the car was left parked.
They don't leave the car anymore but still do it.
They are not horrible people and I used to say hello to them but now I'm too embarrassed.

OP posts:
EmmelineGoulden · 05/07/2013 13:40

If they have previously left the car parked without anyone in I'm a bit more on your DH's side. Your neighbours sound pretty selfish to have done that ever when their own drive was free and I would probably be expecting them to revert back if they aren't kept on their toes. They could just block their own driveway instead. But your DH isn't doing himself any good by getting so agitated about it - it sounds very disproportionate to the inconvenience.

SanityClause · 05/07/2013 14:16

Of our next door neighbours, "she" is a perfectly reasonable person you could have a chat to, but "he" is a loon, who said it was our fault that he got cold callers on the phone, because our cable crosses his land. (It already did when we moved in. We've arranged to have it moved, but I don't know if he still gets cold callers.)

Anyhoo, your neighbours probably think the same - you are perfectly reasonable, he's as mad as a box of frogs.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 05/07/2013 14:17

If they're actually in the car the whole time and they'd move if I actually needed access, then I wouldn't give a shit.

If it bothers him that much, why doesn't he park his own car across the drive when he's home. Then, if they happen to be there when he is, he won't have to see someone at the end of the drive in their car for ten minutes.

Or get collapsible bollards. Or a chain. If by across your drive you mean on your property.

Alternatively, close the curtains. Grin

Honestly, he needs to understand that looking out of your window every time you hear a car just in case it's someone going to park across your drive for ten minutes and wait in their car is really weird!

Tell him to piss up and down the path. That's how territory is marked, isn't it? Wink

babyhmummy01 · 05/07/2013 14:20

Tbh it would piss me off to, perhaps you could just have a quiet chat with neighbours along lines of "look I am really sorry dh is being an arse about the parking thing, I am so embarrassed, but would you mind asking your family not to park over our drive as I really would like to avoid ww3 with dh. I don't want any of us to fall out but I can see it happening as dh finds it really intolerable"

sooperdooper · 05/07/2013 14:23

If they're in the car and would move if you needed them to then it's a total non-issue and if DH started behaving like this I'd find the behaviour incredibly irritating, it's ridiculous of him to carry on like this and makes him sound like a crazy grumpy old man

Triumphoveradversity · 05/07/2013 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chattymummyhere · 05/07/2013 16:53

I'm on his side to be fair.. I would be out there everytime telling them to shift their car off my property unless they would like to pay a surcharge for use of my land..

OneMoreChap · 05/07/2013 17:01

ImTooHecsyForYourParty
If it bothers him that much, why doesn't he park his own car across the drive when he's home. Then, if they happen to be there when he is, he won't have to see someone at the end of the drive in their car for ten minutes.

This.

Wouldn't bother me, but I tend not to notice people taking the piss.

I suspect, that if they know it upsets him, and they keep doing it, that's exactly what they have been doing, and the OP hasn't twigged.

K8Middleton · 05/07/2013 17:04

Has he tried macramé? I understand it is quite soothing and it would keep him occupied.

BrokenBanana · 05/07/2013 17:08

We have a similar set up with our drive, we get quite a few people for the neighbours waiting on it. Doesn't bother me as I don't drive, doesn't bother DP when he's home on the weekend.

ComposHat · 05/07/2013 17:28

Your husband needs to stop being so uptight over something that doesn't matter one iota.

or as my foul-mouthed fried would have it: ' telll him to have a wank and get over himself.'

tallulah · 05/07/2013 17:53

It would drive me mad too. A one-off occasionally would be different but you say they are doing it often.

We don't have a drive anymore but when we did our neighbour would regularly park over it (or his many visitors would) and would then huff and puff and take his time moving if we needed access. Are you sure they would move?

pianodoodle · 05/07/2013 18:09

Unless they were leaving the car so I had to go and find someone to move it if I needed out, I wouldn't mind.

Some people do go a bit mad over their own patch being used no matter if it truly affects them or not.

The last house we rented had 2 parking spaces attached to it with our house number on. When the landlord came over he'd always go next door and tell them to move off one of them even though I told them I didn't mind them using it during weekdays as we didn't need it then. But to the landlord it was "the principle"

TBH I felt it was only fair to let him borrow the space as I had been "borrowing" his WI-Fi for a few months after we moved in... ;)