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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that a GROWN MAN should be able to pack his own suitcase?

73 replies

Salmotrutta · 04/07/2013 21:05

... Without shouting "where are my pants?"

"Did you move those socks?"

a) I don't know where your pants and socks are

And

b) You are a Grown Man!

And

c) Shouting the length of the house will not magically make your pants appear!

And breathe....

Only two sleeps to go.

OP posts:

mumnotmachine · 05/07/2013 07:30

I went away with an ex boyfriend to North Wales, we were going for a few days trekking through Snowdonia.
The contents of his suitcase were case were awesome.
Including flippers and a snorkel
And box of 500 bendy straws!
Of course...just what you need while climbing Snowdon!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 05/07/2013 07:35

I pack everything for all of us.

I won't let my husband near the suitcases because he'd put things in the wrong order

He is perfectly capable of packing, but he doesn't fold things the right way or arrange them the right way.

I am a total control freak. If he does shove stuff in the case, I take it back out again to pack it properly

(properly being not only how it's folded but in what order and what position in the cases items go.)

Mindyourownbusiness · 06/07/2013 17:07

Eyesunder and you can imagine in the building trade how many years of pisstaking mileage his workmates got out of it .

GilmoursPillow · 06/07/2013 17:18

Given the amount of threads that have the words "pack his bags" or "I'd pack his bags" or "go and pack his bag" then I'd say no, grown men are not able to pack their own suitcases.

My DH who constantly travels for work and packs his own bags/suitcases once I've folded his shirts is obviously the exception to the rule

SelectAUserName · 06/07/2013 17:34

Hecsy I'm exactly the same. He does all the washing beforehand, including mine, he chooses what he's going to take and puts it in a neat pile beside the (shared) suitcase but I have to be the one to pack, otherwise it's just wrong.

limitedperiodonly · 06/07/2013 17:44

DH is a great packer but insists on unpacking the cases at least once before we go out of a nagging feeling he's forgotten something. Often we get there and he has forgotten something of his.

He does all the packing because he doesn't trust anyone else to do it right and it's not worth fighting over it.

He won't admit, that no matter how good he is, that I edge him as a packer. My dad taught me. He was in the Army.

I go on business trips and the first time, he sniggered because my case looked like an explosion in a laundry when I got back. I opened the lid and things actually did burst out.

That was because I'd been taken for a quiet farewell dinner that turned into a fantastic night out and I ended up back at my hotel at about 4am, throwing everything drunkenly into the case ready to leave at 6.30am. No sleep.

I've now learned to pack before I go out, just in case, so now I open the case when I get home and it looks perfect. I do that thing where you put trousers on the bottom with their legs hanging over the edge and put other things on top of them and then fold the legs over when you're finished so the trousers aren't all creased to buggery.

It really annoys him and he refuses to take that tip even though he knows it's a really good one.

EliotNess · 06/07/2013 17:47

Two more "sleeps " are you 6?
Seriously though. I know of an MD of a software firm whose wife packs for his business trips. Unbe fucking lievable

EliotNess · 06/07/2013 17:47

I can't imagine my h packing mine

Freak out

Hasitfallendownagain · 06/07/2013 17:48

We usually only take one suitcase between us.

I make a list of what I am taking for myself and DC.

DH makes list of what he wants to bring.

I pack it all during day while he is at work, more efficient as then I can put all shoes at the bottom, DC pyjamas etc near the top.

The morning we leave DH will have a carrier bag of all the stuff he forgot to put on the list, which will have to be crammed into my carefully packed suitcase.

limitedperiodonly · 06/07/2013 17:59

Now I've read the thread properly I identify with the people who say their DH takes too many things.

We have a small inquest before holidays about the last one where he says half the stuff was unworn and I say: 'That'll be your stuff.'

He is much keener on clothes than me because it's his job, although I'm pretty keen too. I'm really not one for that capsule monochrome wardrobe. I do take lots of things in different colours and several pairs of shoes. For a three-week holiday it's an average of about seven pairs.

It's just that I'll be the one saying: 'let's not take those shoes because I only wear them with one dress and we can leave the shoes and the dress behind.'

He invariably says it won't hurt. I don't care because suitcases are on wheels these days and if they weren't, he'd be carrying them anyway.

limitedperiodonly · 06/07/2013 18:04

I have memories of another packing thread where someone accused me of having an abusive husband . That was a little extreme.

He does have control issues though and I throw that out there for any posters who say that only they can pack.

Really, it's just folding things up and putting them in a box. We can all do it if we have to.

noddyholder · 06/07/2013 18:05

I couldn't fancy someone who didn't pack his own case

cantspel · 06/07/2013 18:12

I pack the suitcases not because no one else is capable but because we take 3 cases between 4 of us and pool our weight allowances. I dont see the point in each of us having our own cases and taking things just for the sake of it. I like to travel light and use the hotel laundry.

limitedperiodonly · 06/07/2013 18:25

We have Fed-Exed luggage and left things - toiletries and sandals - at hotels we're going to go back to repeatedly during the summer.

You just have to remember how much you have to bring back on the final trip otherwise you get charged excess baggage if you only take one case instead of using everyone's baggage allowance.

Yes, I am looking at you DH, and your competitive 'I can get it all in one case-ness'.

hermioneweasley · 06/07/2013 18:32

My old boss's wife always packed everything for him. It was always a surprise to him what he ended up with. Astonishing.

SelectAUserName · 06/07/2013 18:33

Limited, I wasn't here for that thread so wasn't one of the people to whom you refer, but I do know on a rational level that my DH is perfectly capable of putting things into a medium-sized rectangular box. It doesn't matter, or occur, to him that putting heavy items on top of delicate ones, putting stuff you'll need as soon as you get to the destination on the bottom, or folding items that wouldn't get creased if they were rolled or laid on top, isn't logical. He wouldn't think to roll socks up and put them inside shoes to save space, or to take a multipack of new underwear out of the packaging and pop each pair into odd crevices rather than trying to squash the original pack with all its extraneous cardboard and plastic. (In his defence, he has cognitive impairment.)

All those things do matter, and occur, to me. I'm irrationally proud of an efficiently-packed case with the maximum number of things fitted into the minimum amount of space with minimal ironing needed at the other end. So as it doesn't bother him to let me do it - although he'd happily oblige if I asked him to - and it DOES bother me to know we're taking a bigger case than we need to / my dresses are going to be crushed rags / we're carrying packaging we're only going to throw away at the other end, and I'm happy to pack and can do so quickly, it works for both of us.

SelectAUserName · 06/07/2013 18:34

am not one of the people

EliotNess · 06/07/2013 18:36

I agree with noddy. Again

Tinuviel · 06/07/2013 19:15

I pack for me and the DCs as it all goes in 1 case and needs to be packed in the right order (heavy stuff at the bottom etc). I also have a list and tick things off as DCs bring me their stuff. However, DH packs for himself as he takes shitloads of crap, never decides what to take till the last minute and then realises the night before we leave that he wants to take something that needs washing. So he has a smallish suitcase and can take what he wants.

The downside last year was that he forgot his swimming trunks when we were going to the south coast and we all had to waste lots of time finding a shop that sold them (none near the beach we were going to go on) and I wasn't prepared to sit next to the knob wearing jeans DH on the beach on virtually the only really hot day last summer.

Tinuviel · 06/07/2013 19:18

If he goes away with work, he's on his own, although I did lose the plot last year when he forget to pack his shirt and we had to turn back en route to the station to go back for it. He was already late setting off and caught the train by the skin of his teeth. Pack the night before when you're getting a 7.30 train and your wife is ill? Why would you?

gazzalw · 06/07/2013 19:21

I think you'll find we do not have the best organisational skills for such things....

marriedinwhiteagain · 06/07/2013 22:14

Grown men should but I think a lot of us have grown up boys .

exoticfruits · 06/07/2013 22:47

Probably their mothers did it for them. Once they got to teenage years mine did their own - then they are not a problem later.

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