Students next door

[LittleMilla]

New lot moved in yesterday - eight lads who are starting their second year in sept but hoping to find work over the summer.

Early signs not good: music blaring yesterday and without sounding too uptight, they just strike me as being druggy chavs tbh.

I'm 37 weeks pg with ds2, ds1 is 2.

Tonight I was eating supper with ds in the garden and had to poke my head over wall to ask them to stop smoking weed whilst we were eating. They apologised but I'm not shitting myself for year ahead - last year's lot were great in comparison.

We introduced ourselves yesterday and my intention is to just be as friendly as possible. But ds was pretty obviously outside, it was 6.30pm and yet four of them still thought it'd be ok to smoke reefer? Doesn't bode well does it?

So I think I know I'm not being unreasonable, I'd love to hear any thoughts on how I 'manage' this lot moving forward! Wwyd?

Perhaps try explaining your situation, ie young children and see if they'll limit loud music to sensible, agreed times.
Ask for forewarning if they have a party planned so you can vacate.
Compromise or else move house.

Do you live in a very student-y area?

I'd be out of there!!! Or, as said above, try and be really friendly and they might turn out to be really sweet. :-)

Hopefully there will be no late night fights or drunken vandalism though if that's what they are doing

Sorry to sound flippant but having had differing types of students and transient young people as ndn's for years now I would be inclined to overlook the reefer smoking if that's the extent if it. Weirdly I quite like the smell, so that doesn't bother me at all.

Area is a real mix of families and students, they've got a family on the other side too. I'd say about 70% of houses are families here.

I've actually got no problem with weed tbh, just don't want it being smoked when kids are playing outside. Planning to say that when I next see them. Instead I just said can they wait until he's in bed.

I know that I'll need to compromise a bit but want to know what others would deem acceptable? God, I shudder what I was like in my second year at Uni. And realising that last year's lot were angels!

If this was 20 years ago and you had asked me to not smoke weed in my garden because of your PFB I would have laughed a lot, tbh. Your child is in no danger from second-hand smoke outside (a whole garden away!) and of course have no idea what next door's funny smell is. I think asking them to stop is silly, will cause no end of merriment and possibly some serious PA smoke-over-the-hedge situations.

Pick your battles. Music, loud and anti-social behaviour, absolutely you need to nip in the bud if it happens. But if you start pouncing on a quiet puff in the garden, you won't get anywhere.

Hmmm I think you're right to be concerned. your approach of being nice and having a quiet word seems very sensible. they won't want the confrontation either tbh. I would keep popping my head over and pulling them up on the weed smoking. maybe throw in a little white lie of one of the neighbours being in the drugs squad, make out you're doing them a favour by telling them

Wilson - it wasn't "a whole garden away". We were sat eating and it was blowing right at us, they were sat all of five feet away.

I told them we were eating and asked if they could just wait until he was in bed. Really didn't think that was too unreasonable tbh? They're young and I really don't think they would've realised it's not particularly nice.

Was going to nip over there tonight to say that I don't mind weed bit would prefer it if they didn't smoke when kids playing. Dh reckons I should just leave it and say in passing when I next see them so it doesn't seem like too much of a 'thing'.

Now wondering if I overreacted? Shit.

the people in the flat downstairs smoked weed. after several complaints from lots of neighbours, they were raided by the police. (i think several resident became a pain in the neck to the police and they did something to shut them up)

just saying like.

its early days and i don't think you should judge them yet. my son lives in a house with 5 other boys as a student and the neighbours cause most of the noise....according to him. loud music and the telephone which is next to their wall. i imagine your children cry during the night occasionally and sometimes wake a little earlier than say 9am on a sunday? noisy games in the garden....etc etc

Wellll...we live in student vile. And you just need to be aware that they will have NO UNDERSTANDING of your needs unless you spell it out to them. My neighbours upstairs are students, we tell them when we're going away on the implicit understanding that they can do at they want noise wise as we're away. I've also ad to point out that Thursday not ideal time if parties "as we work on Fridays, yah?"..you know, the obvious things that most adults know...check term dates and go away for the last weekend....stuff like that, there's no reason why people can't live side by side. My neighbours, however are angelic vets, yours don't sound like that.

This might be all high jinks, but I'd nip it n the bud now. If you're in a primarily non student area, then that will be much easier....they will be aware that they can't behave as though they're in halls (unlike where we live sadly). I've even a vocal hussy a couple if times and the message is sinking in.

Also, bear in mind that the landlord will need an HMO license which gets revoked if complaints re noise etc ramp up. I imagine each council handles HMOs in diff ways but I've had two licenses taken off neighbours, both had to sell up. You alone have recourse through university, nose team, and cops. So you are, in fact, fairly well protected if it does get bad.

Thanks pig, really helpful to know.

My approach last year was fairly gentle cajoling "Friday is bin day, I'll remind you on thurs night when I'm putting mine out of you like" which they responded to really quickly. We also asked for advance warning of mega parties etc. only once did I go apeshit - which was when they were running around on the scaffolding whilst off their tits on whatever. They were very sheepish when I next saw them and I also felt quite embarrassing for going nuts .

I've managed to build a derby rapport with llord who always seems keen to keep me happy. Neighbours on the other side (who are attached) had bigger issues last year as weed smoke was going up chimney and in to their house . She went ape and I know that she's likely to have a tougher time than me if this lot play up.

I agree spelling things out in a friendly way is a good approach.

We had students below us last year who were a bit terrible, they kept shrugging off complaints, until finally DH went down and said in a kind of older brotherly way: look, everyone around here is families and old people. If you want to make a racket, you need to live in the halls or the student neighbourhood. If you choose to live here, you have to fit in a bit more with everyone.

They really got the message and were so much better after that.

I think you did the right thing asking them not to smoke up, it's good to set some general boundaries early on, so they don't get the idea at the start that anything goes. It's harder to walk people back from no boundaries if you see what I mean.

Hmm we live in a student-y area. Weed smokers down stairs, loud gunshots at night from x-box downstairs, loud sex at 4 am from next door, had stuff stolen - we are moving to a more countrysideish area in September because of DP's work, and are so tired by the whole thing that we will possibly just go for wherever looks quietest in regard to our flat/house hunt - a hut in the middle of no where would do!

Mint - I'll shut up as it sounds like a ball in comparison. We're not attached to them house-wise so noise is always going to be limited.

Thanks for replies everyone. Very helpful.

Haha, sorry, was not trying to trump you Milla, I was just bitching - you are PG and have a toddler, so it would bother be a lot more if I were in your situation anyway!

The only problem with complaining in this type of situation is that they may well do the same about any noise etc that your toddler makes, also when the baby cries at night etc. It is difficult, for example I have neighbours that play music and tv loud at night but I dont complain because my 5.45 am alarm is loud enough to wake the dead (although it doesnt wake me straight away! ). The weed smoking is a difficult one but I would be tempted to let that go too.

So, they only moved in yesterday, and already you're judging them to be "druggy chavs". Give them a chance!

I don't think you're being unreasonable to have concerns. I wouldn't be too pleased if 4 people were smoking gear in the garden whilst I was eating with DD. not because I think she's going to get stoned but because I can't stand the smell.

I'd give them a chance but if the antisocial behaviour gets worse (and I don't mean a bit of music, the occasional party here)- you have the options of complaining to the landlord, the Uni and for drug issues the police.

When I was a student we had a very uptight neighbour who had obviously had problems in the past. He was an angrier version of Phil Mitchell (manner and looks) and used to come and bang on our door for the slightest misdemeanour. They got their revenge by having a baby that wailed all night shortly before our finals.

Tell the landlord. I don't understand your posts though. On one hand you're calling them druggy chavs and on the other you don't mind them smoking weed! Weird.

we're in studentville too and its bloody awful. we are surrounded by the buggers. we cant move as a) dh works at the uni and b) we cant afford too right now.

btw... i was told (by someone that works in admin) that if you complain to the university about them... once, twice, three times a lady or however many times you need too, then it goes against their final marks. not many people know this... and they dont tell the students either.

I was wondering about that, InLove. Where I used to live in the US, the universities had community liaison offices, and if off-campus students caused problems, they could be disciplined by the university. It really helped a lot.

We have new students below us now btw and I swear to god, they never make a peep! We keep wondering if they're even there but yes, the light is on, they just never make a sound. They are business students though .

remember that they will probably have blown out their hearing with their ipods, so need to be told what acceptable volume for music is. They all own headphones and can use them.

from my experience of living with gappies (same as students) - set boundaries in words of one syllable, because they won't think otherwise. For instance, no noise audible outside the house after 11pm or before 10am. Wind awareness with smoke of any kind - basic consideration. Don't chuck the dog ends into your garden. Put the bins out etc. They do indeed have to live like humans, otherwise that is what halls are for.

if rules are broken after trying politeness, go apeshit, especially if you have a husband with a deep voice. They may look tough but being shouted at by 'dad' will scare them.

the inside of the house, fortunately, will not be your concern. And if it gets too bad, report to the university.

and as for 'druggy chavs' -well, they do smoke the stuff in public, don't they? Not generally the sign of the smartest knives in the drawer...

....or even the sharpest... :-)

You do as the others have said, being nice and polite etc. If you get nowhere with this and they become terrible neighbours, then contact the university and tell them. Even though it is probably private renting, they will still know who they are (they do a search on their systems) and the uni can discipline them.

We do that for our students, so I would think it is a common thing throughout higher education.