Students next door

[LittleMilla]

New lot moved in yesterday - eight lads who are starting their second year in sept but hoping to find work over the summer.

Early signs not good: music blaring yesterday and without sounding too uptight, they just strike me as being druggy chavs tbh.

I'm 37 weeks pg with ds2, ds1 is 2.

Tonight I was eating supper with ds in the garden and had to poke my head over wall to ask them to stop smoking weed whilst we were eating. They apologised but I'm not shitting myself for year ahead - last year's lot were great in comparison.

We introduced ourselves yesterday and my intention is to just be as friendly as possible. But ds was pretty obviously outside, it was 6.30pm and yet four of them still thought it'd be ok to smoke reefer? Doesn't bode well does it?

So I think I know I'm not being unreasonable, I'd love to hear any thoughts on how I 'manage' this lot moving forward! Wwyd?

Get chatting to them and tell them how you're a police officer on maternity leave...

The could be good - ie someone at home during the day (with that many in there someone will be around), young nimble bodies to shinny up a drainpipe if you get locked out... but they can be bloody awful!

We had some lads - first time away from home and they were nocturnal! Running up and down the hall, banging doors, loud music, smoking god knows what in communal areas... up to all night parties, breaking windows and doors. There was also very early AM doorbells going (drop offs/pickups hmmmmm) and they would often ring our bells by mistake.
It was a nightmare. They were sweet boys when you did see them but they trashed the flat too.

I personally wouldn't be bothered by the weed smoking, the noise would be more of an issue for me, but I think if they get the sense that its something which could lead to your tipping off police they will if they have any sense listen to you.

I would have a really friendly word now, just saying you don't want to be a killjoy but you'd appreciate no weed smoking when your kids are in the garden and could they just be sensitive when playing loud music and forewarn you if they are planning to have a party. That's really all you can do at this stage. Unless they are complete numpties or have a deathwish they won't want the prospect of your calling the police hanging over them.

If they ignore you or turn belligerent then start keeping a note of the incidents. If you want to involve police/noise control you'll need to catch them in the act, so to speak, so be aware of what the patterns are.

Definalty do not let things get out of hand, let them know pretty soon that noise and parties on a constant basis will not be tolerated.

Say you understand that they are young, want to party, but that sadly the house situation does not lend itself to wild student days, hopefully they willl realise this as the last lot did.

If they want a party can they tell you in advance, or you will call the police, no weed smoking by the house or anywhere you and your DC can smell it, no loud music that you can hear at all, they can get head phones.

OP I feel your pain (long time lurker first time poster here XD) when the students moved into the house that was 2 doors down from my poor old mother it was terrible the screaming and shouting the loud music all night and the drugs it was awful keeping an elderly woman awake all night scared that someone was going to break in. All they boys (despite being about 18 and posh) thought they were the bee's knees lording it around my home town and the girls sounded like shreiking banshees til 5am til theyd had enough chardonnay to pass out lol - not!!!

DONT LET THEM TAKE DRUGS NEAR YOURE KIDS. GIVE AN INCH THEY TAKE A MARATHON!

I was probably being a tad harsh on the druggy chav label. But I've got an 18 yo sis and am still "in touch" enough to work out that if you smoke weed all day and listen to pretty hardcore music, you're likely to take stronger stuff too. Let's hope I'm proved wrong.

To someone's earlier point about reminding them that they're not on halls, I overheard one of them saying on the eve they moved in "I can't believe we're stuck between too families!" And so I've no doubt my poking head over the wall last night prob made them think they've chosen a shit area to live in. We've got one of these street playing out things next weekend too, which will hopefully serve as a reminder that this area is in fact chocka with kids. Who knows?

We're not attached to their house (both end of terraces) and so sadly they won't get the joys of my newborn unless I take him in to the garden . I will save that for a rainy day if they're being sods.

Also really good to know about informing Uni etc. I had NO idea about any of that. Thank you.

I think you would be way out of order to "tell on them" for smoking weed. You dont have to eat outside. If they take any notice then they are very polite

I think you would be way out of order to "tell on them" for smoking weed. You dont have to eat outside

Y'see, right there is an attitude that is completely wrong. So OP should have to stay inside because they are smoking weed outside? Since when does Class C drug use trump having dinner?

I think OP was quite reasonably asking for them to consider her wants and needs (not to have dinner with her child in a cloud of smoke) and there's no harm in that. I wouldn't make a huge deal of weed smoking per se, as long as it is kept within reasonable bounds. But the students are living between two families and cannot do whatever they like. The sooner they get that the better for everyone. No one need fall out, they can have some fun and not feel completely circumscribed and OP's life will not be a nightmare.

We had music students next to us who were not pleased to find that we did not intend to put up with 12 hours of instrument practice a day. It completely took over, there was no peace. We made an agreement, they stuck to it for months then broke it, we rang and rang and spoke to them about it until they moved out. Harsh perhaps, but who moves into a terrace expecting to be able to impose that kind of noise on people for hours and hours every day?

I think a friendly chat is fine.

I lived in a quiet all girl house at uni,you would have loved us being your neighbours.

However most aren't like that and as young people living on their own for the first time,consideration for other goes out of the window. If they're a reasonable bunch they'll take it on the chin and play fair.

So I saw one of the lads this evening. Said that I didn't want to come across as too militant yesterday, but would they mind not smoking weed when ds is out. He said that it's completely fine and understandable and they'll pay a bit more attention in the future. But basically said that it was fair enough to say something and they'll be a bit more considerate.

Phew.

No we'll see! Ha.

Just had a meltdown on DH. Students basically didn't sleep all weekend and were outside when we went to bed and got up (at 6/7am). They're now outside again tonight and I'm just getting so anxious about what lies ahead.

My baby is due in two weeks. After a year's renovation our beautiful house is finally a home and now these tossers have ruined everything.

DH is reasoning that it'll be pissing with rain in a week and we won't hear them (much) after that. And should they wake ds or get really noisy (at the moment it's just 6-8 people being a bit rowdy) he'll go over.

But, argh!!!! I had always rationalised that living in a city with two unis you could move somewhere without students but then still end up with them along the way. So we shouldn't turn down house because of student neighbours. But now I'm just so about what lies ahead.

I have been the student who lived below the family.

Washing machine spin at 6am?
Cry it out toddler at 3am?

Or a 50 minute temper tantrum banging the wooden floor at half 10 the night before my finals?

Oo and let's not forget the time they asked us not to come in during our lunchbreak - 'the baby was sleeping'

Its give and take, and believe me in the last days of term I gave them a lesson in problem neighbours!!

I geniunely don't think this is a situation likely to end with both parties being happy. I think YABU a bit to live in a student area and not expect to have some impact on your life, but I also think they ABU to behave as they do. I've been in both positions! I honestly don't think your nice conversations will lead to a lasting outcome where they behave more considerately, much as you may wish it, and would be reasonably entitled to it. Are you in a position to either a) move or b) complain to the Uni/Landlord?

Op we have long experience of student neighbours. Some are lovely, others are a frigging nightmare.

If they are causing a noise nuisance, you can phone local council noise team

Better still, get their landlord's number and when they are making a racket at 4am, phone the landlord and tell them to deal with their tenants. The holy grail is the phone numbers of students' loving parents - a quick phone call to mummy at 3am to complain that Tobias is off his head on weed and could he turn down the 'music' works wonders.

Failing that, phone the university - our local one has an officer who deals with this stuff. Also in Scotland landlords have to be licenced and you can oppose the renewal of these licences on the grounds of noise etc.

Another approach is to talk to them - explain you are having a baby, they need to redirect the fact they are in a residential area now.

think YABU a bit to live in a student area and not expect to have some impact on your life

She is absolutely not unreasonable to expect neighbours to be considerate. It died not matter whether they are students.

I can see both sides of this.
On the one hand I do think YABU, on the other NBU.
We have students surrounding us. Stupidly we didn't even think about renting a flat opposite a University. The twunts directly upstairs are the worst. They play some sort of Kazakstani thrash folk till about 5 in the morning, go to bed, then start again at 4 in the afternoon.
Our security guards go and talk to them, they turn it off, once the guards have gone on it goes again. This can happen 20 odd times a session (and has).
We are unable to have them evicted because the law is different in Malaysia.
OTOH, give them a bit more of a chance. Perhaps you could go round there with your baby bump emphasized with tight clothing, mascara down your face and your hair in a mess and tell them you are having a hard time with their noise.

Agreed with DH that we'll go and chat to family on other side of them - they've been here much longer and will hopefully be able to give me some perspective on whether this is acceptable and what we think is ok.

As I've said previously, there are a few student houses round here, but it's predominantly families. So it's not as if we've moved to student land.

I think that last year's lot had lulled me in to a false sense of what it might be like. I hadn't anticipated people over 24 hours a day and not sleeping .

Any crying my baby might do will have little impact as it appears they won't be sleeping much anyway . Damn it!

Nope, you should expect them to be normal human beings and behave accordingly. Please just call uni, landlord, police and noise control and don't even let thus become a problem. Call the council, see if there's an HMO, if not, grass them up.

My husband has cracked basically and we are selling up because of a group of students. Im Heartbroken and angry. We just can't face another couple of years or my kids being woken by "monsters In the night" and all the other shit that comes with living alongside people with different lifestyles.

And to the person who used to live below families: you can't control a baby's nocturnal actions obviously ... And people getting up at 6am is nothing as disruptive as others staying awake all night.

Pig - that's what I'm worried about. We've moved here as our ten year house - plan for ds to attend primary school here before moving out to the sticks. Now I'm just feeling so stupid for not realising that you could get a really shite group and how much it'll impact us.

I need to keep on reminding myself that we had pretty bad (non student) neighbours in London who thought nothing of a bonfire on a hot sunny eve. Which meant I couldn't open windows to try and cool my newborn down. Bastids. On the bright side, I guess that at least students will move out and you can hope for a better lot next time? Can you tell I'm feeling more optimistic as they're not up yet this am and so I can actually hear the birds for once !

I really think you have to talk to them again.

They listened to you about smoking in the garden. They just obviously have no idea how to behave, but if you challenge their disruptive behaviour they may change it, they have once already.

Good luck and I hope you get through to them.