please give me your opinions about mother approaching dh on school run..

[wintertimeisfun]

would you have alarm bells rining if your partner/dh told you a women he often sees on school run (he shares it with me due to my job) & exchange smiles (as one does with many of the other mums to be friendly) has approached him asking him if he wants to be her 'cycling buddy' as she has seen him cycling. he said he was quite taken aback as he doesn't know her and has only smiled to before. possibly she thinks he is single etc or it could be literally just what she suggests although she could have approached anyone. tbh i wouldn't go upto someone else's partner at the school gate and ask them if they want to come with me to ie the gym or on a trip to do what i do for a living (if i had heard he was also into the same thing). opinions please... i am not very comfortable with it (or he) and i am not a posessive type, quite the opposite normally

[youarewinning]

I like the suggestion above about you approaching her to do the number exchange.

A friendly - I understand you'd like to join DH and I cycling. What's your number - ill text to arrange it.

You'll soon know if its a cycling buddy she wants I'd your DH and his number! 😃

[mrsravelstein]

"the divorce courts are full of people who trusted their spouse implicitly, and equally of spouses who genuinely didn't go looking for an affair."

totally agree

[Salmotrutta]

Calamity - I do trust my DH. Completely and utterly. And I think the OP trusts her DH too.

Marriages can only be broken if a spouse is not a good person or is untrustworthy.

[WhoNickedMyName]

It wouldn't bother me, but then again my DH would have given her a polite brush off.

But as your DH has been 'naive' in the past (really? a musician that has been on tour and dealt with groupies, naive?), and he has already given her his number, then I'd be none too pleased.

[Salmotrutta]

No, the divorce courts are full of people who cheated because they weren't good people and weren't trustworthy to begin with.

[mrsravelstein]

i would be really bloody amazed if my DH was "led astray by some other woman", salmotrutta, but then again, this forum is full of women who have been amazed to find out about their husbands affairs.

[Salmotrutta]

But their husbands were lying, cheating bastards. mrsravelstein

DH and I have been married for over 30 years and I know him very well. He is a good and honourable man.

I sussed that out about him before we even got engaged - I knew I had a keeper.

[Salmotrutta]

And actually I shouldn't have used "led astray" -that implies no choice.

He would no more have an affair than fly to the moon would have been better.

[thebody]

Most people I know who discover an affair have also had fantastic trustworthy partners too!!

By all means trust but done be blind.

[mrsravelstein]

yeh, see, in my experience, men don't actually walk around wearing signs saying "i am a lying cheating bastard". and i know several good and honourable men who have cheated on their very nice wives for years.

[thebody]

Indeed agree ^^

[wintertimeisfun]

the thing with dh when i say naive is that is isn't at all vein, he is the most unvein person, one of the things i have always loved about him. he doesn't recognise when a female is flirting as he just doesn't think he is attactive, bless (he is), this is why i say he is naive in that he thinks she isn't flirting and just wants a cycling buddy but the more i think about it the more ridiculous it seems. there are loads of other fathers at the school gate (and women) who cycle around. my friend thinks she may know who he is (i don't) but she thinks this (he plays with a successful band) and may find that attractive although he is good looking in an odd way. i feel really rocked by this. to see her on the school run knowing she has called my husband and wants to go off out with him but i don't know her from adam, really not happy but don't want to be the one to say i don't want you to go. so ANGRY to be in this position from nowhere. i don't think dh should have given her his number tbh although i understand it may have been tricky, i get asked my number sometimes by people re work and dobn't really want to give it out

[aldiwhore]

On the days I've felt brave enough to ask someone about something they do that I'm interested in I ALWAYS come across as an absolute buffoon. A little too direct.

I would let this go, it may be exactly what she says.

[whateverwhoever]

I would be amazed if a mum would plan to strike up an affair with someone whose child is in the same class as hers, unless she wanted to cause unending trouble for herself and her dc. She's probably been on here saying she's shy and needs a cycling buddy and been told to ask him!

[ARealDame]

Sounds weird to me.

I think it would be different if she knew him better (so perhaps knew if he was single or was a cycling enthusiast), or knew you both.

If your DH was taken back, then I assume that's the end of the matter, so not clear exactly why you're posting ... But I'd say your instincts were right.

[thebody]

Whatever,

in my neck of the woods the vicar and the church counsellor were at it for years with 6 kids between them.

Disastrous fall out of course but people do it every day of the week.

Op just tell him he can't go and end of.

[WhoNickedMyName]

I don't know what the woman's motives are, but I do think the OP's DH has been a bit more friendly and chatty with this woman than he's making out.

I mean, he's given the woman his phone number. Who actually gives out their number to a random woman in the playground that they've only ever exchanged smiles with?

[monicalewinski]

I think its odd. I wouldn't be happy if it was my DH, and similarly I would think it odd if a virtual stranger bloke approached me to be a "cycling buddy". I don't control my husband at all, but I would definitely ask him to keep his distance from this if it were happening to us.

[LaurieFairyCake]

My dh runs with random women at running club twice a week.

Can't even imagine thinking anything untoward.

You either think your partners going to fuck someone else, or you don't.

[AhCmonSeriouslyNow]

I can understand your discomfort and if it did make your OH feel uncomfortable, his instinct is probably right. On my initial read of your post, it could have been totally innocent but if there are lots of other cyclists and she singled him out while barely knowing him, it is a bit odd.

With regards to you seeing her - could you mention the whole thing to get it out in the open? Maybe even "oh, husband hasn't been able to call you back - to be honest, his cycling is his time on his own, I think"

(provided husband is happy for you to say something like that)

[FryOneFatManic]

So, from information already posted we have a woman relatively unknown to both OP and OP's DH, who is now beeping and waving at the the OP's DH, while seemingly isn't bothering with OP herself. Who then rocks up to OP's DH and out of the blue asks him to be her cycling buddy when many other parents at the school also cycle.

Parents that she might actually know better?

Sounds a little weird to me.