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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that 'Big Head' is a horrible way to refer to a child?

32 replies

PinkSippyCup · 03/07/2013 10:57

Dd is 8mo and my pfb, so am willing to accept I may be being a little but precious.

SIL has recently decided that 'Big Head' is an acceptable nick-name to call DD. Every time she sees her it's "hey Big Head!" Angry

Now aibu to think this is horrible and DD will grow up thinking it's true?

I'm thinking I'll either start calling SIL the same name or suggesting that we save the nick-name Big Head for when she has children Wink

So AIBU?

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 03/07/2013 11:03

No, it's not nice.

Your SIL sounds like one of those "Oh I was only jokiiiiing!" Types.

Bundle of nasty laughs they usually are. Hmm

jemstipp · 03/07/2013 11:06

Kind of made me lol but such a bitchy thing to continue on with. She could have gotten away with it once but not to name your child such. You need to tell her now not wait til she has kids as you can bet she won't take kindly to name calling.

Salmotrutta · 03/07/2013 11:08

It didnt make me "lol" Hmm - but then I don't find "jokes" based on appearances particularly funny.

YouTheCat · 03/07/2013 11:10

I'd bet she has an area of her body she is touchy about so start calling her 'Huge Arse' or 'Mirco tits' and see how she likes it.

You can guarantee she'll get all huffy about it.

I had a friend at school who called me 'Titty' or something (I wasn't that bothered at first but it was constant). Funnily enough she took a massive hissy fit when I started calling her '2 fried eggs'. Wink

jemstipp · 03/07/2013 11:12

I didn't mean it like that Salmotrutta. It's just funny that she thinks it's acceptable behaviour. She seems like the bigger child to do it in the first place.

WorraLiberty · 03/07/2013 11:12

I'm thinking I'll either start calling SIL the same name or suggesting that we save the nick-name Big Head for when she has children

I'm kind of thinking you should tell her to stop fucking saying it

Funghoul · 03/07/2013 11:12

That's horrible! I am biased though, mil just bought changing mat with the words greedy pig and little pig pictures all over it because my dd is a greedy pig according to her. Dd is 7 weeks old...

Yanbu!

xylem8 · 03/07/2013 11:15

It did make me LOL, but I wouldn't like it if it were my baby.Just call her Big Arse!

jemstipp · 03/07/2013 11:15

Hi to Funghoul again! Yeah totally agree with Worraliberty, stop it straight away.

Salmotrutta · 03/07/2013 11:16

Ah, I see jem!

Anyway OP - people like your SIL are usually the type who think its funny to make jokes about others then accuse those others of "having no sense of humour" when they get upset.

Come across a lot of those in my time, oh yes.

Can't stand that type of "humour".

Salmotrutta · 03/07/2013 11:18

And Worra is right.

Just say "Is that supposed to be funny? Because its not, it's just offensive"

Passmethecrisps · 03/07/2013 11:18

Yep. Just tell her to stop. My sister did this when a relative kept calling her baby "big pudding". Sounded cutesy but she had her reasons for not liking it. Big head is just horrid

Beeyump · 03/07/2013 11:18

What's wrong with having a big head?? Mine's massive...all those brains Grin

jemstipp · 03/07/2013 11:19

They are the ones who normally have some insecurity am I right Salmotrutta? She was prob the bully at school when she was younger, just don't let her start on your baby.

Cheeseatmidnight · 03/07/2013 11:19

Call her big gob next time she says it

LookingForwardToMarch · 03/07/2013 11:19

I call mine stinky bum

But then she is only 4 months old

And it's generally around changing time that I call her it

Grin
Salmotrutta · 03/07/2013 11:21

Yes, I think there is insecurity involved.

Maybe a mechanism to deflect attention/ criticism from themselves.

Or then again, maybe just plain lack of emotional intelligence combined with a mean spirit.

jemstipp · 03/07/2013 11:22

I used to call mine "seal pup" and "chubber" because she was 10lbs 14oz when she was born, she grew into it though (now 16months and tall for her age, plus she was my child so that's ok, someone else doing it, not so much. Would have cracked me up.

Chivetalking · 03/07/2013 11:27

Unkind and unnecessary. "D"B nicknamed DC1 something faintly derogatory as a baby and it always made me Angry when he said it. He'd have been the first to whinge if I'd done something similar with his kids when they arrived Hmm.

YANBU

Funghoul · 03/07/2013 11:28

Oh god I'm a mil basher...
Hi jem Blush

jemstipp · 03/07/2013 11:29

Haha Funghoul it's a SIL this time ;-)

Original poster
PinkSippyCup · 03/07/2013 11:32

Thanks for replies.

Yes I will tell her to stop, but just know in laws will all pile in, stand-up for SIL and use this as another example of how up-tight I am.

SIL isn't generally nasty. I think it's more wanted to have a 'special name' Hmm that she calls DD. This is the second NN, the last one was calling her by the first letter of her name. That used to piss me off as well, but at least it wasn't horrible.

Gah. You spend months picking out the perfect name for your DC, why can't people just use it!

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 03/07/2013 11:42

How old is she?

If she's not normally insensitive or nasty could you have a quiet chat away from prying ILs ears?

Original poster
PinkSippyCup · 03/07/2013 11:46

22, old enough to know better IMO, but likes to play 'the baby'.

Won't make it a big deal, I'll just say something about it being horrible next time she says it.

I loathe any kind of confrontation, but know I need to stand up for DD.

OP posts:
carolthesecretary · 03/07/2013 11:48

What?! Rude cow. In what way does she think that's okay?

I would start calling her big arse if she did that to a child of mine... Oh, and be too busy to see her.