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Neighbour kid is annoying me! Help!

160 replies

Momofthreeloudkids · 03/07/2013 05:27

We just had new neighbours move in right beside us. The day they started moving in an adorable 9yr old boy walked into my house, introduced himself, proceeded to tell me how we will be seeing a lot of him. I thought it was cute at the time. I didn't even think to say something about it then because he's new and overly excited. I let it slide. (noted that keeping the doors locked would be a good idea incase he's used to just walking in on strangers)

I have a 2yr old boy, 3yr old girl and an 8yr old girl. My two toddlers keep me hopping as it is. We don't have play days everyday because its just too much. Anyways, this new child comes over about 10am the day after. No problem! My oldest girl was delighted to have a friend right next door. I was excited for her as well. Most of the morning was spent perfect. Then lunch time came around and I told him if he wanted to stay he was welcome but had to go home and ask his parents if it was okay. Not two minutes later he was back and his dad asks if I can watch him for a little while they have to run out. Uhhh... What?! You don't even know my name. We have not met before and that's the first thing you ask me? mind boggled Being neighbourly I say " sure, that's okay." So he stays for lunch. We continue playing outside. He starts fighting with my three year old daughter over every toy she has. I get that he's a single child but at 9 he should know how to share and not snatch. Yet every time I or my DH caught him he claimed she did it first.

Then dinner time rolled around ( take into consideration that I'm used to parents picking their children up before dinner. It's like an unwritten rule where I live). Parents didn't come over to get him. I tell him that he needs to go home for dinner. He says " My dad said I can stay for dinner too." Umm... Okay, I guess. So we have dinner. By now I'm thinking surely the parents will be calling him to come home. Nope, no such luck. At 7pm I finally shipped him home. Day one is over.

Day 2- ding dong. "Can I come in?" I tell him the girls are outback. It's a beautiful hot day. Not three minutes later he wants back inside the house. I tell him that we are only playing outside today because its so nice out. He pouts, I don't want to play outside blah blah blah. My kids enjoy all the time they can get outside. I stand my ground and ship him back outside. Then the battling with my three year old beings, I watch him take toys away from her and tell my oldest girl that he doesn't want to play with my 3yr old. My daughters are very close and my oldest ALWAYS includes my youngest. She's not happy he's acting like this. Then he starts doing anything to make my youngest cry. I try talking to him but he constantly talks over me while I'm trying to correct him. He argues EVERYTHING! I've even threatened to send him home and it doesn't make a difference. Then my DH and kids went out so I sent him home. Before leaving he spent 5mins arguing DH as to why he should be allow to go too. I'm in the house cleaning about 20 mins later and ding dong. I answer the door and its him. He wants to come in. I explain that I'm home alone and the kids are still out. He proceeds to beg, argue and offer to help me clean. After about two mins of saying No. I finally had to say "Go Home!" My husband pulls into the driveway and isn't even out of the car yet and he's at the car door. My DH tells him that we need to have lunch and will come over to invite him over when we are done. He begs, pleads, argues and wont leave. Finally we have to yet again tell him to go home. He doesn't take no for an answer, constantly arguing and talking over you. It's such strange behaviour for a 9yr old boy! As we are in the kitchen our daughters tell us that he's in the living room window telling her to tell her dad to let him come in. REALLY!? DH goes to the window and it takes three times saying no and to go home before he goes over to his house. After lunch I send my daughter over to invite him back. After all we said we would. Although by now we didn't really want to. He continues to pester my 3yr old every chance he gets and complains about playing outside instead of inside my house. He stayed till dinner and we sent him home. We had a late dinner around 630 so he didn't come back after.

Day 3 - the kids and I go outside in the morning. Not 5mins after he's here. I let him come into the yard to play. He starts asking to go inside. I tell him no, we are spending the day outside. He starts fighting with my three year old again, making her cry, whining and arguing about playing inside my home vrs outside. I'm not exaggerating when I say this kid argues with me about everything!!! The mom yells from her Deck she has something to do and will be back. didnt even ask my permission to leave her son. I may have three kids but that doesn't give people the right to assume I babysit theirs. he starts telling my oldest not to let my youngest onto the trampoline. Finally, I've had enough, my kids had enough... Time to tell him to go home. We go inside :( just to avoid having to play with him. Not an hour later he's back. I tell him we are busy and won't be able to play for the rest of the day. He whines , begs, keeps asking what we are doing that he can't do too. I keep telling him no, he has to go etc. Bot playing more today. He leaves. 30 mins later ding dong! He's back. Ugh! I tell him " I told you we aren't playing anymore today" .. He demands to know what we are doing that he can't do, he could just watch etc etc... No matter what I say is not getting through to him. Finally I had to say... "Please go home right now". He proceeds to tell me " this sucks!" I shut the door. One hour later ding dong! Really? You have got to be kidding me! Open the door and no one is there. Go to close the door and he jumps out from around the side of my house! "Did I scare you?" mind boggled I tell him that I've already told you we aren't playing anymore today. He now wants to know again what we are doing in our home. I don't feel I owe this child an explanation at all. I just say " we aren't playing everyday all day , we don't have friends over that much.I've already explained this to you. Stop coming back and go home." He pouts, still talking over me. Finally I say goodbye and shut the door. Not two hours later he's back! And says to me " I can't remember did you say all day they can't play." Gezz! I tell him " yes, all day." He says why? I repeat the other conversations. Again he's pouting, arguing, begging and again demanding to want to know what we are Doing that he can't. I said that we needed family time and now I was making dinner and the girls were playing together. Wrong answer! "Playing!? Why can't I join?" I tell him I'm sorry but I already told you we don't have friends over all the time and I've told you numerous times no more today. He begs, talks over me while I'm explaining and finally I just say goodbye and basically have to shut the door in this child's face cause he won't leave until I do! He got the message this time. He didn't come back. Until tomorrow I'm sure :s

I feel bad for him because he's in a new place, new house, new friends but my three year old is constantly being tormented by this boy and my 8yr old doesn't like that he's not nice to her sister. I have no idea what to do! I would appreciate any advice! Talking to him doesn't do a thing. I thought about talking to his parents but its only been three days. I'm scared to make enemies with the neighbours. After telling my husband all this he wants to go over and tell the parents he doesn't want their child at our house anymore. I don't know what to do. Thought I'd write here and maybe someone would have advice for me. Help please! :(

OP posts:
wintertimeisfun · 06/07/2013 20:21

ffs, i was sympathetic to your post until i read your fucking reference to the kid being a brat because he was single, ffs, such fucking type cast bullshit Angry

wintertimeisfun · 06/07/2013 20:21

*i meant a single child, too pissed off to type properly and haven't bothered to read the rest of the post

Slainte · 06/07/2013 20:27

Yes, the single child reference is sticking in my craw too.

Sheshelob · 06/07/2013 20:32

Why? I don't think she meant any harm by it.

Sparklingbrook · 06/07/2013 20:32

We have a bit of this but not on your scale Mom. The child in question is so thick skinned and unaware of what they are doing it's baffling.

if my 2 say they aren't playing the child sits at the end of the drive waiting, or shouts through the open windows.

I would just draw the line and say no more. He would be better going to find some boys to play with that are his own age.

Klingyston · 06/07/2013 20:33

Don't be ridiculous, of course an only child is more likely to come round than one with siblings - he wants other children to play with

wintertimeisfun · 06/07/2013 20:34

i finished reading it out of curiosity..he sounds like a bloody nightmare but am hurt tbh that you attribute it to him not having any siblings. dd doesn't (obviously..) and ain't NOTHING like that. either a/ his parents are crap parents and have over endulged him/he is very lonely thus fitting the stereo typical description of an 'only' or b/ something dodgy going on in his home or c/possibly somekind of special needs? eitherway, it's not your responsibility, i'd back right off although i do feel sorry for him and you :-(

Sparklingbrook · 06/07/2013 20:34

I thought that Klingy is that wrong? Confused

Slainte · 06/07/2013 20:36

Actually the reference to being a single child was I get that he's a single child but at 9 he should know how to share and not snatch. Nothing to do with him coming around because he has no siblings.

wintertimeisfun · 06/07/2013 20:36

kling bollocks! whilst that would certainly be right for alot of 'only' kids, not all. how do i know? because i have one fucking dd and she (forunately) LOVES her own company. i would invite kids round here and there but i am lucky as it has never been a problem. your post really fucks me off, very small minded.

hermioneweasley · 06/07/2013 20:36

The sudden change in behaviour is worrying - I wonder if he's had grief from his parents for being home too much?

I think it might be worth a chat with them anyway - need to specify that they can't just leave him with you and go out without checking first, at least.

Sparklingbrook · 06/07/2013 20:37

The only children of the male variety round here are always knocking looking for others to play footy with.

wintertimeisfun · 06/07/2013 20:38

i hate the implication that children with no siblings are lonely and thus unhappy. i hate a chip on my shoulder, i know because i couldn't have anymore children so i hate reading anything that labels 'only' children in a negative way, i can't help the way i feel especially as i have not experienced that with my dd

wintertimeisfun · 06/07/2013 20:38

i have*......

Sheshelob · 06/07/2013 20:39

Winter, I think you are being a little over sensitive about the only child thing. I have one DC and it genuinely didn't bother me.

wintertimeisfun · 06/07/2013 20:40

if you love football you would need someone else to play with. dd loves reading and other things that don't require company, thank the lord otherwise it would make my inability to reproduce all the more painful

Sparklingbrook · 06/07/2013 20:41

I would imagine some only children look for company and others don't the same as adults do. I have no experience of only girls, just the team sport boy thing.

wintertimeisfun · 06/07/2013 20:42

you are right, i am overly sensitive on the subject, hands up there but having ttc for 8 years has damaged me emotionally on the subject or anything to do with it. besides, 'onlies' often get bollocked here on MN by mothers who completed their family, i have noticed this, lots of opinions on mothers with just the one

Sparklingbrook · 06/07/2013 20:42

I had a brother but still went out looking for others to play with growing up.

Sheshelob · 06/07/2013 20:42

Sorry - x-post, winter.

I'm sorry you can't have more kids, winter, but I think jumping all over a thread because someone makes a throw away comment about only children is a bit over the top. It says more about your own worries about having one child than what other people think. Your daughter sounds great. Why not just focus on the positive rather than look for criticism everywhere?

wintertimeisfun · 06/07/2013 20:48

i know shesh just senstive, especially at the moment on the subject. ignore me, lets' get back to OP's post. sounds like a really difficult situation. sounds like there is more to it than is obvious, sounds like an unhappy kid, fancy begging to come in :-( instead of going home

Sheshelob · 06/07/2013 20:52

I can understand, winter. I hope things get better for you, as your daughter sounds lovely.

Smile
wintertimeisfun · 06/07/2013 20:53

thank you :-)

Momofthreeloudkids · 06/07/2013 21:15

Sheesh! All I said is I understood he was a single child but that a 9yr old should know how to share with a three year old. If anything I was trying to come up with a reason for why he can't get along with a three year old. Maybe he's not used to playing with younger children, maybe he spends a lot of time alone .. Etc. I never once said a single child is a brat or more likely to be bad. I think you are reading too much into an innocent comment.

OP posts:
Momofthreeloudkids · 06/07/2013 21:22

Before this post offends anyone - I am only speaking in regards to my neighbour child not anyone else's child.

OP posts: