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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not understand what it's ok to show violence on tv but not people making love?

62 replies

Scarletohello · 02/07/2013 23:37

Ok this was promoted by watching an episode if Famly Guy where a little girl was being kicked in the head and I know it's a cartoon, and I'm not really talking about cartoons here but it does piss me off that its ok to depict horrific violence in films tv etc but its not ok to see normal people having normal, pleasurable sex. And I'm not talking about porn here as that's filmed for the man's pleasure. I mean the kind of sex that most people have. What do other people think?

OP posts:
Dorange · 02/07/2013 23:42

I think it is OK to show both.

But it is not OK to show both to everybody.

Children need to have their innocence protected.

"what you open the eyes of a child for...

Original poster
Scarletohello · 03/07/2013 00:10

So how is normalising violence protecting their innocence..?!

OP posts:
Ilovemyself · 03/07/2013 00:13

I agree with Dorange. You have to treat adults with a modicum of intelligence and assume that they can tell the difference between fact and fiction.

claw2 · 03/07/2013 00:18

They do show people having sex in films or TV after a certain time.

Startail · 03/07/2013 00:23

YANBU,
The TV version of 'Fatal Attraction' I've seen cut the fucking on the kitchen counters, but left all the blood and gore at the end.

Always seemed a twisted view of the world.

Startail · 03/07/2013 00:32

Why do children need their innocence protected? Most have seen their parents naked. Many have a jolly good idea what sex is from an early age.

I've know the facts of life since I was a toddler. I'm told why was my favourite word.

I've never understood why DCs can't see nakedness and normal consensual sex in films and TV and in films.

Children can kill children (hunger games) and it's a 12. Sex and it's an 18.

Society has gone wrong somewhere.

cantspel · 03/07/2013 00:56

Family Guy maybe a cartoon but it is not for children as it is not recommended for viewers under age 18.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/07/2013 02:33

Because people are weird. In order of complaints about TV received:

1 Swearing (which harms no one)
2 Sex (which feasibly could harm some people, obviously if it is not healthy/consensual/pleasurable etc.)
3 Violence (which harms anyone in contact with it)

Why isn't it the other way around?

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 03/07/2013 06:16

There's been a big increase in programmes showing graphic violence, especially sexual violence on TV. I'm a bit sick of sexual assualt and autopsies being offered up in an almost titillating way in programmmes such as The Fall, Silent Witness, Luther.

I'm a fan of crime fiction, bit too much detail of torture and sadism, especially towards women are in danger of desensitising us from the shock and horror of violence.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 03/07/2013 06:18

Startail

12 doesn't even exist in the cinema anymore. They've fudged the ratings so that basically a child of any age can see a 12A as long as their parent is with them.

TheRealFellatio · 03/07/2013 06:22

I've never understood this either. I live in a country where even innocent kisses get edited out of TV, yet you can watch a any amount of gratuitous violence with no watershed at all. Hmm

wigglesrock · 03/07/2013 06:44

I agree with Startail , it's so screwed up - people seem to think that children are untouched by violence on tv, it can be brushed away with "oh it's just pretend" or "only the baddies do that" etc, but God forbid you should have to explain to your child what two people in bed are doing.

Thisisaeuphemism · 03/07/2013 07:04

Agree with op and Jamie- the only way you get to see a naked woman on tv these days is in the mortuary after a sexual attack.

I would like to see more normalised nudity and average sex (!) and much less violence.

MeanAndMeaslyMiddleAges · 03/07/2013 09:43

I agree totally with you OP. something I've been thinking about recently. I'm not talking about banning anything and obviously age restricted stuff matters too, but it seems all manner of violence and crime is seen as good quality entertainment, yet normal consensual sexy times is sooo taboo. And I do worry about the correlation there may be between this fact and the increase in porn (although the ease of access nowadays may be more relevant). I worry for the teens in our society where porn is so accessible and normalised but there are still so many taboos about sex that young men grow up with very twisted notions about what normal relationships will be like.

A while ago I read an interview with George R R Martin (who wrote Game of Thrones books) and he was bemoaning the fact that he was allowed to write graphic depictions of someone getting their heads cleaved in with an axe but if he wrote about boobs or sex he'd get complaints or his editors would try to persuade him to cut them. Now I appreciate he may not be the best example to give, but he said that he found that really troubling and I have to agree with him.

WhiteShakette · 03/07/2013 09:52

Agreed. I sometimes find myself thinking I must be highly unusual in that I prefer not to watch films or TV with graphic violence, because I find it deeply unenjoyable, and I simply don't understand how so many people are ok with it. I saw so many good reviews of The Fall recently, but I found bits of the first episode (the only one I saw) unwatchable - the dead bodies of female murder victims posed in titillating ways, and, far, far worse, the long scene at the end with the solicitor struggling and screaming through her gag on the bed before she was raped and killed.

My friends used to laugh at me for having seen so many romcoms in the cinema, but to be honest, the real reason was that you can be more or less guaranteed no one is going to have their head blown off in slow motion.

ARealDame · 03/07/2013 09:56

Because sex is a private activity, that's why.

I feel sorry for actors and actresses that are now continually forced to get their clothes off and simulate sex, even in the mildest dramas. In fact Equity are complaining about this at the moment.

wantaholiday · 03/07/2013 10:11

I think they do show sex scenes so don't really know what you're on about with that, are you saying that you'd like to see more sex scenes? I think sex scenes are rarely intrinsic to the plot, so don't see the need to show more.

Agree with you about violence though although that is very often intrinsic to the plot so maybe that's why it's shown?

I feel sorry for actors and actresses that are now continually forced to get their clothes off and simulate sex, even in the mildest dramas yes me too.

mrsjay · 03/07/2013 10:14

most children dont watch family guy and quagmire is a bloody sexual deviant Confused

samandi · 03/07/2013 10:18

I thought it was ok (as in legal) to show both. It's pretty unusual to see any realistic sex though.

Every time I turn on the tv there seems to be another forensic/crime show with women being sadistically murdered. Who are the writers/producers trying to shock? It's the same old tripe, trotted out again and again.

Yes, it would be refreshing to see some realistic sex scenes from time to time. I'm not someone who needs sex in every tv show, though.

WhiteShakette · 03/07/2013 10:18

But why are we so fixated as a society on forms of entertainment in which violence IS so intrinsic to the plot? And, given that sex scenes can be conveyed 'off camera', do we need to see graphic rapes and close ups of violently killed people's bodies...?

Obviously, violence is a horrible reality, as depicted in the news, but why do we, as a society, find it entertaining to the extent that we also opt to watch so many violent crime shows?

mrsjay · 03/07/2013 10:21

you do see sex in films though I think there needs to be a context violent films will show well violence drama programmes will show people in bed I am not sure what you are going on about , a programme aimed at children will generally not show extreme violence , but in the simpsons for example they show marg and homer in bed and they snuggle

mrsjay · 03/07/2013 10:22

MY dh is watching Banshee at the moment I am Shock at the sex and violence in it it seems equal

Bramshott · 03/07/2013 10:25

Yes, absolutely. I'd much rather see (and much rather my soon to be teenage DDs see) healthy levels of nudity, sex (as long as happy and consensual) but I DESPAIR at the level of violence in most films rated 15 Sad. I have learnt by experience that most things with an 18 cert are far too violent/upsetting for me to cope with.

Dorange · 03/07/2013 10:26

startail since parts of our society don't view sex as only a beautiful and natural way, I do think children do need protection
see parents naked at home is very different than see actors naked in films.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 03/07/2013 19:37

"And, given that sex scenes can be conveyed 'off camera', do we need to see graphic rapes and close ups of violently killed people's bodies...?@

Agree WhiteShakette

And I won't be watching the next series of the Fall. I thought the whole thing was designed to tittilate