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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask do you ALWAYS have birthday party for DCs

46 replies

greencatseyes · 02/07/2013 14:03

Three out of three DCs birthdays within two weeks.

Be gentle with me.

last few weeks have had one significant parent birthday/family event to organise, one large music event to help DP with, one massive parents and school camping trip to organise, directing whole PTA school fair, managing our own business, trying to start own business, mentoring visiting 17YO relative on career choices for a week. Amongst other things. Lots of visitors and people staying recently, so having house to ourselves is a novelty to the moment (no frantically putting stuff away all the time)

I am whackadoodledandied, not sleeping, and endlessly tired. Plus the summer holidays are looming like a massive iceberg ahead. I know I should have prioritised the birthdays, but I took on voluntary roles that that snowballed and feel a bit helpless.

The thought of organising a party for a 7YO and then for two 5YO's is doing my head in big time.

Do you ALWAYS have a party for DCs?? Would I get away with a trip to Legoland?

Can I defer it and have party in a few weeks?

OP posts:

kerala · 02/07/2013 14:06

There is a very calm supermum at school who is SAHM but has 4 kids. For their birthdays each of her own children is allowed one friend and she does a lovely craft with all of them and cooks the birthday childs favourite tea. Makes the rest of us running around stressing and organising large parties look abit foolish I think. DC really dont need huge extravaganzas just the focus on them for their day.

wonderingsoul · 02/07/2013 14:07

if their with in 2 weeks of each other i would throw one big party, your pretty lucky to get away with that really ;)

7 year old is still young enough for soft play or highing out a hall with a bouncy castle. or replacing the castle with a disco?

but no, you dont have to, i have to close together but cant do the joint part.. think 14 nov 28 dec.. last year ds1 had a proper party, ds2 had an outing with his brother to build a bear and pizza hut

this year ds2 will prob have the party and ill take ds1 out some where or have a sleep over with one or two friends.

yo can still make it awesome for your kids with out having big partys, and sometimes i think it makes it better :)

UC · 02/07/2013 14:08

Yes, I would imagine you'd get away with a trip to Legoland. Or you can defer and have party in holidays. We've done both of these options in the past. Both totally reasonable. We have also given our DCs a choice between a party and a trip to a theme park. Both are expensive, you can only afford one. Dress it up as a big treat, and then have a special birthday tea for them all after you leave with ice creams etc. in a cafe/restaurant (not in Legoland though unless you want to take out a mortgage!)

wonderingsoul · 02/07/2013 14:09

lego land would deffinatly be fine. there'll love it

Crinkle77 · 02/07/2013 14:10

Could you have a joint party for them at home and they can just invite 2/3 friends each. perhaps just do traditional games like pass the parcel, musical statues etc... and put on some party snacks.

MyMelody · 02/07/2013 14:12

of course you don't have to ALWAYS have a party, the police won't come round you know

pizza hut was made for such occasions

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 02/07/2013 14:15

They'll be fine as long as you do something with them, trip out sounds great. If you went to 'The Hut' perhaps they could each invite a friend?

iamadoozermum · 02/07/2013 14:37

We don't do parties generally. DS1 had a party at a soft play last year but that's the only one we've done. We tend to do family trips instead like zoo or theme park. So I think trip to Legoland would be great.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 02/07/2013 14:39

No - DS is 10 almost 11 and his last party was on his 6th birthday. He behaved so atrociously that he hasn't had one since, nor is he likely to, not till he is 18 anyway :)

I would far rather take him and a mate out anyway, maybe to the cinema and then to mcdonalds, pizza hut or somewhere like that!

fuzzpig · 02/07/2013 14:39

We didn't this year, too ill and poor. DD was upset but I took her and best friend (who left the school in summer, so they hardly get to see each other) to the cinema, and that was nice.

Loa · 02/07/2013 14:43

No we try and have them set years - and other years do a trip out.

So they all have a 4th birthday party but not 5 - though that got out of wack this year as DS was in a new class and struggling to settle - so we did him one.

StateofConfusion · 02/07/2013 14:53

yes but its kept small 10 children including themselves and siblings.

ds is having a soft play party in a few weeks £63 for 10 children to play have a buffet and take home a cone of pick n mix and helium balloon, done. we are off to lego land that week too courtesy of the sun and kellogs cereal.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 02/07/2013 15:06

DS is Christmas day so is probably not going to get parties very often, it's just too difficult around that time of year. I think taking them all on a fun day out (like legoland) is just as good as a party.

LineRunner · 02/07/2013 15:08

It's fine not to have a party.

You could let the birthday child pick a DVD or an activity and have a special family tea (and as per kerala's post, maybe with a friend from school).

Or just all go to the cinema or have a picnic.

SeagullsAreLikeThat · 02/07/2013 15:16

Mine have never had a party yet (5 and 3): they have been given the option of party or family trip out and have always chosen family trip out.

Wondering how long I can get away with it for!

crazykat · 02/07/2013 15:46

There's a year and two weeks between my eldest two and now they're both at school they had a joint party with 2/3 friends each. It costs about the same as taking DCs and a friend or two each to soft play and buying them dinner.

Next year we might do the same or might have dinner out, can't really do day out as birthdays are jan/feb so too cold for most places.

QueenMaeve · 02/07/2013 15:50

Totally fine not to have a party! I have 5 dc and wouldnt dream of having 5 parties a year. We have had a trip to cinema, ice hockey, picnic in park, family movie night etc instead of parties. I think as long as they have about 2 or 3 big parties with classmates during the primary school years, thats fine. Once they hit 9 they usually don't want a traditional party anyway

Velvetbee · 02/07/2013 15:52

We last had one 3 years ago (DC3 who was 5 was undergoing chemo and soooo deserved it). I hate parties and would far rather have a family day out - it is supposed to be fun for all of you, no?

Arcticwaffle · 02/07/2013 15:56

yes, we always do, we're all a bit fond of parties. I'd rather thought that kids grew out of them, when I was a child we stopped after aged about 8, but it seems not.

But we do ramp it back a bit when we're feeling over busy, so I might just take a few kids to the cheap cinema session and back for a quick tea, or take a few to the swimming pool floats session + picnic after.

Definitely add all 3 in and just do one party if you're feeling stressed.

OohMrDarcy · 02/07/2013 15:58

we give the DC a choice of a family day out alongside a small little tea party with 3/4 friends at home, or a 'proper' party.

Their birthdays are 6 weeks apart and actually this year they asked for a joint party - had it in between them both and hired a hall, they are 3 years apart and it worked really well actually!

Squitten · 02/07/2013 16:00

DS1 is 5 this year and it will be our first children's party. We refuse to spend the money and time involved in catering for the entire class, etc, and since he'll just have started a new school anyway we're going to invite a small number round to the house (no more than about 8ppl max) for a birthday lunch. 2-3hrs max!

I'm already bricking it!!

LilRedWG · 02/07/2013 16:08

I wasn't even in the country for DS' second birthday let alone organizing parties.

A day trip to Legoland (using Keloggs bogof tickets) sounds perfect.

wigglesrock · 02/07/2013 16:09

No, mine don't have a friend's/ classmates party every year. They have cake, sweets and some buns with their grandparents, cousins but it's not a big thing, an hour on a Sunday afternoon type thing.

piprabbit · 02/07/2013 16:15

I always do birthday parties for my DCs. It's just that, sometimes, I don't invite any other children and we celebrate as a family.

itsonlysubterfuge · 02/07/2013 16:17

I never had a birthday party in my life. Instead we always got to pick a place to go out to dinner/pick up takeaway from and got a cake. We then opened presents with the family and could have a friend spend the night.

I have a family member who has a giant party for her children, she spends more and more each year that she can't afford. I think she is daft. However my daughter's first birthday is coming up and I have already spent a fortune, but it's all in toys I know she will enjoy. There will be no "party" to speak of.

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