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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask do you ALWAYS have birthday party for DCs

46 replies

greencatseyes · 02/07/2013 14:03

Three out of three DCs birthdays within two weeks.

Be gentle with me.

last few weeks have had one significant parent birthday/family event to organise, one large music event to help DP with, one massive parents and school camping trip to organise, directing whole PTA school fair, managing our own business, trying to start own business, mentoring visiting 17YO relative on career choices for a week. Amongst other things. Lots of visitors and people staying recently, so having house to ourselves is a novelty to the moment (no frantically putting stuff away all the time)

I am whackadoodledandied, not sleeping, and endlessly tired. Plus the summer holidays are looming like a massive iceberg ahead. I know I should have prioritised the birthdays, but I took on voluntary roles that that snowballed and feel a bit helpless.

The thought of organising a party for a 7YO and then for two 5YO's is doing my head in big time.

Do you ALWAYS have a party for DCs?? Would I get away with a trip to Legoland?

Can I defer it and have party in a few weeks?

OP posts:

ShadeofViolet · 02/07/2013 16:17

DD (4) had a party last year and is having another this year.

DS1 got to 8 and then we did family days out/weekends away

DS2 is 6 and never had one. I dont think he would like it and he doesnt really have any friends. We do days out for his birthday too - Legoland, gullivers, Whipsnade.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 02/07/2013 17:07

All the 'naice' parents throw parties round our way. It is a nuisance tbh. £200 a pop is average spend. I wish everyone would just agree to stop! I also resent wasting days going to lots of other people's party events [grumpy fucker]

mrsjay · 02/07/2013 17:10

We used to go on a day out with family and birthday dds friend it worked well we would go to the zoo or cinema and then for tea, I couldnt be bothered with birthday parties every year, they had 1 at 5 12 15 18 dd2 wants hers at 16 though

LittleSporksBigSpork · 02/07/2013 17:17

No, we rarely do them actually. We usually do a morning with a balloon filled living room and pressies, a day trip out as a family to where the birthday child suggests, and then the dinner and dessert of their choice. Only DS1 has asked to have a proper party, but he only wanted to invite a couple friends to eat food, watch a movie, and break a pinata at our place. I have four kids, though only two are back to back like that (DS1 and DD2 are weeks apart, with mine in the middle, DD1 and DP's are within a week of each other as well), it does get hectic when they're close together. The simple trips are usually the best. Mine just like having a day mostly in control.

formicadinosaur · 02/07/2013 17:44

Birthday tea with a 3 friends?

Ragwort · 02/07/2013 17:50

I do BUT I only have one child and no where near as busy a life as the OP .

Now that DS is 12 a party is more like an outing to a swimming pool/cinema followed by a pizza & sleepover for 5-6 friends.

Most parties when he was younger were village hall type 'old fashioned' parties with games and a party tea, wouldn't dream of having an 'organised party'. Because I am very bossy and find it quite straightforward to run a childrens' party. Friends often used to comment that they liked the old fashioned party .

culturemulcher · 02/07/2013 17:54

I did what you're planning this year. We took advantage of DS(6)'s birthday being in the holidays to decide not to have a party, but to have an expensive family day out instead.

I actually gave him the choice of a party or a day at X and he chose X .

It worked really well. DD had a party a few weeks later, and next year I think DS will have a party and DD will have a day out.

ReginaPhilangie · 02/07/2013 17:57

TBH we've never done birthday parties for either dds. This started as dd1 is autistic and has never really had more than one friend so parties have been a bit of a no no. We always take them on days out on there birthdays though. We let them pick where they want to go, and as long as it's not too expensive we go. DD1 is 10 now and we've done Legoland, trips to the fair, safari park, the zoo, water parks etc. We always have a little tea party when we get back and invite family around and they still get to have birthday cakes with candles.

NoelEdmundsWig · 02/07/2013 17:58

Three of my four kids have their birthday within five days. So birthday, miss a day, birthday, miss a day, birthday.... and there is only four years between the eldest and youngest. We have regularly missed birthday parties, combined them and put them off .

I don't think there has been a year where they all had a separate birthday party. They have never minded sharing the limelight at all.

We once waited several months for one of them to have a party for their friends.
At least they will never forget each others birthdays.

MadeOfStarDust · 02/07/2013 17:59

no - we don't - they get presents in the morning and cake at tea time...
sometimes we have a small party with 4 or 5 friends, but generally don't....

KirjavaTheCat · 02/07/2013 18:02

DS is three on Monday, we're just going to a pick-your-own farm and having a picnic with cake. Parties make me nervous

5madthings · 02/07/2013 18:04

No they don't always have parties, we do a bday tea on the day with cake and bday child chooses what to have for dinner, tomorrow is ds2's bday and he wants chilli,

Some years they have parties, others trips out, we did legoland one year, cinema trips etc.

No need for a party every year.

shewhowines · 02/07/2013 18:05

We did when they were little but it all downsized to sleepovers with one or two friends by the time they were 7 or 8. Their choice.

I enjoyed and could afford to do the parties. Not everybody did them though so it's up to you to do what you want to. Don't be pressurised into doing things you don't want to/can afford to.

shewhowines · 02/07/2013 18:08

Could you organize an informal meet up at the park over the summer for all three kids and their friends? Provide a few ball/ bats etc and snacks. Let them get on with it and organise thamselves? Party bags optional?

kinkyfuckery · 02/07/2013 18:09

Erm, no!

DC1 had a 'big' - nursery/school and young relatives and friends kids bouncy castle party at local sports centre - party for 4th and 6th birthdays.
DC2 had the same for their 5th.

That's it, I'm done. They get a friend or two and family round for cake and presents and that's it. For DC1s birthday this year (8th) me and my mum took both DCs and a friend to the cinema and McDonalds, then back to ours for cake. Think last year (7th) we went swimming with a friend and her family then back for cake.

mrsyattering · 02/07/2013 18:45

we took our two to Thomasland last year at easter for both birthdays (within 4 weeks of each other) they had parties this year. Hoping to do a trip again next

intheshed · 02/07/2013 18:51

As long as there is cake, candles and maybe a few balloons it is a party, even if the only guests are the kids from next door! We generally just do a tea party with 3-4 friends.

jamdonut · 02/07/2013 18:56

I did one birthday party for my youngest when he was 5. Never again.

None of my children have had birthday parties (apart from that one). They've all survived and have friends.
Daughter usually had a friend over for tea with maybe a cinema trip or something similar. Oldest not bothered at all, youngest has had a friend over for tea a couple of times.

Mostly, I make a cake and we have a lovely family tea, something that the birthday person really likes eating.

Parties are really not worth the hassle or expense,in my opinion

redwellybluewelly · 02/07/2013 19:00

YANBU!

We seem to have fallen into a pattern of every other year with dd1, first birthday (as she wasn't expected to survive and it was a major milestone) and also planning her third birthday party because she has a new baby sister and I'd like DD1 to have a bit of limelight.

Think it depends in the circumstances bit having watched my SIL almost implode over the stress of parties then I'm going for the KISS approach!

Original poster

greencatseyes · 02/07/2013 21:05

PHEW!

OP posts:

Original poster

greencatseyes · 02/07/2013 21:07

I enjoy the old fashioned party with pass the parcel, pin the tail on donkey, musical bumps etc, and I'll miss it when they are too old, but Legoland beckons!

OP posts:

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