DH left saw at floor level behind bedside table where dd could reach it

[MummyOfSunbeam]

Ok - I am very distressed but may need to be told IABU. I hope I AM BU.

Dd is 9.5 months and been walking independently for a month so we have some gates up to try to corrall her a bit until the babyproofing is ready. Thw lovig room and bedroom are v babyproofed and DH has worked hard to help me on this - cables, tv, foam edging etc. he did the bulk of the babyproofing labour, though I have always been the one to point out the risks :(

Now dd has been walking in the hallway between living room and bedroom for a week, to get between the rooms, and he knows this - indeed he has encouraged it. She likes to walk and it is a safe hallway (bookcase attached to wall).

But. One room with be door always open right opposite the living room is rhe nursery-to-be - it is currently full offurniture from the bedroom (she is still in with us t the moment). We are using it also to dry and store clothes so it is absolutely crammed full of stuff. it ia not babyproofed yet (that is important to admit). It is PACKED with stuff literally no floor space at all. Stuff to eBay, clothes drying, boxes of baby clothes, three chests of drawers, big cupboard (from
bedroom) etc. i go in there daily to get clothes out and she is in my arms never playing in the floor .(no floor available!!)

However this nursery doorway is literally 60 cm away from the living room doorway. He has seen her walk up to and past it numerous times. He has seen her stand right by that doorway and sit by it.

And here is the thing that appalls me: just now I discovered that be had left a naked handyman saw - a serrated edge handheld thing - slid against the wall right beside the nursery door - he says it was BEHIND a bedside table in there for storage but when we saw it it had slid over and was balancing precariously right by the doorway where she could have easily reached it.

I found this out when I was in there just now to get clothes, holding her on my hip, I bent down to pick a t shirt up and the saw slid down and nearly hit her - it did hit my foot but by the handle.

Ony yesterday she was sitting by the doorway pulling things out of the room while I was preparing the pram in the hallway. I feel utterly sick. He knew that thing was right there by the door - although admittedly he says he thought it would stay behind he bedside table and not fall out or be pulled out. The room has not been babyproofed yet.

Ok - obviously I am unspeakably horrified. I instantly called him and asked wtf. And he was horrified too and w explained he didn't realise she was already reaching for things in that room. I do NOT think he did this maliciously - the room is chaos and very packed - and it was presumably behind the bedside table at one stage.

but I am appalled that he wouldn't realise it. it was ao easy to reach and and totally right by the door.

I am now nervous about him caring for her alone during my 10 h workday a week because this just seems too in-in-tune with risks to her? We were very pleased that his work are going to let him compress - I was far happier with that because then she would only have nursery two days a week, two days with me and one day with him. He ADORES her. But this kind I oversight seems to me to show lack of imagination re threat.

OTOH I could be over-reacting because I do overreact about her safety. Please tell me IABU considering the following:

• he says he didn't realise she was interested in the nursery doorway (he has seen her walk in the hallway and approach the doorway though. But I admit he hasn't seen her sitting by it.)

• the room is indeed totally full and hasn't yet even officially babyproofed. He explained that is why he didn't think of it yet. But leaving a naked saw by the side of an open doorway within reach of your walking dd is pretty damn astonishing.

• he adores dd. He plays with her for hours, hugs her, comforts her, reads to her, changes her, cooks for her - he was cooking until midnight last night because he wanted to learn new recipes for meals she might enjoy! (She loves lentils so be has hurtled off and found hordes of recipes. he hates lentils but is determined to give her delicious things she likes). He has wonderful games with her involving hats and toys. He has invented a song he sings especially to her and she loves it. He definitely loves her. He has been so excited - and nervous!- about having the chance to compress so he can care for her Tuesdays

He says he is horrified by what happened. He says he will go through the whole room and babyproof it tonight. I know he would never do anything to hurt her. But what worries me is that he didn't think it through. And if he can be that STUPID frankly then I am worried.

But please tell me IABU. I feel IABU to have ever carried her near the room but I had no idea we even owned such a dangerous thing!

So he babyproofed tge vast majority but made one error of judgement and you are going on like he left an obstacle course of nails and cables and live socjets sparking in her face

Think you need a grip

Dear OP parenting is a long series of gradually helping your children towards independence. As Floggingmolly said god's given you a free one. It's hard for you to see it now but there will be a stage in your lovely baby's life not too far away when she's covered in bruises as she's constantly crashing into things. You both sound like good parents... do relax a little.

YABU. I understand over worrying about stuff but you need to get a handle on it and soon. My mum totally over worried about everything and as a result I've had some pretty serious anxiety issues. Please don't let your neuroses affect either your DD or DH, he has to know you trust him. By all means ask him to be a bit more careful but I think your reaction is over the top. I am troubled by why you had to say twice that you don't think he did it maliciously or that he would ever hurt her - that is a worrying thought to even cross your mind. If you find yourself troubled by this level of anxiety on a frequent basis then perhaps some counselling or CBT could help you. I don't think this is a normal level of anxiety, and I say this as a very anxious person myself. Anxiety is horrible and it's so much worse when it's focused on DC.

Is this the first potentially dangerous thing that's happened with your - presumably PFB - baby? If so, then although you're overreacting it is pretty standard to overreact at this time. The first time ds1 rolled off the bed, I was practically hysterical. Nowadays, dc4 bumps his head and we laugh it off with him. You learn to put these things into perspective. Nobody was actually hurt, everyone learned a lesson. I'm not suggesting you should be cavalier with anyone's safety but it's a learning curve and you will get there.

Have a cuppa, chill out and be thankful that nothing awful DID happen.

Of course she hasn't noticed anything, because nothing happened!

Take a deep breath, shut the door and forget about it.

Sorry I meant to say DD needs to know she is safe and secure, it's amazing how they pick up on your feelings.

This will not be the last time you have a fright I'm afraid. It was a mistake, it has been pointed out and you will both be more careful in the future. You were BU but I think you realise that now!

I think it's been said already. i won't repeat it.

I'd be upset, too.

He needs to think more.

What an arse.

YABU. The home is full of dangerous things. You just have to make it as safe as you possibly can and accept that mistakes and accidents happen at times no matter how much you try.

You put foam padding on the furniture?

You are worried in case - at 9.5 months old she noticed anything?

I mean, I know we are all a little precious about our first borns but this is just taking the biscuit. If you completely babyproof your home then how on earth is she going to learn about danger? The first time she steps out into the big wide world and realises that when she falls over - IT HURTS is going to be one hell of a shock.

Babies learn by having little accidents every now and then. They need to learn that when they fall over, it hurts a bit. This teaches them caution. They also need to know that some things you don't touch because they are dangerous.

I never babyproofed by home, I never bought those plug socket covers and we never had a stair gate. I taught my kids how to come down the stairs backwards; I taught them never to go near anything electrical and they learnt that the table edges were sharp so they were careful not to go near them.

Yes it's hard when they are this age and into everything, they don't understand when you tell them about dangerous things, but if she had pricked her finger on the edge of the saw, would it really have been the end of the world? She's hardly going to pick it up and saw her leg off is she? The worst is that she would have grabbed it, it would have pierced her skin and she would have learnt not to go near the thing with the pointy ends. Job done.

My MIL brought 7 children up on a working farm, you can imagine what a nightmare this must have been at the time. Yes they had accidents from time to time and most of them ended up in casualty as kids but with nothing worse than a broken ankle. All 7 survived and grew up with a healthy sense of danger. When my dd was young and we were visiting, dd reached out to grab some nettles and I was about to stop her but MIL told me not to. She said the only way they learn is by making mistakes and as long as they aren't going to be seriously injured, we should let them make those mistakes.

So take off the foam padding for crying out loud. The first time she visits someone you just know she's going to go around injuring herself as she finds out that table edges are hard, that books can be pulled over, that wooden floors hurt, etc. She needs to be learning that now.

The words 'mountain' and 'molehill' spring to mind.

Wow.

I did some baby proofing but not that much. I think you're being a bit PFB with it all.

She wasn't hurt and I think you were a tad dramatic about it. Wait til she is outside and starts scraping her knees.

At least she wasn't hurt though.

Just the last part of your OP. I feel for your dh, I really do. You sound barmy woman.

YABU

It takes some getting used to having a little person in the house who is determined to mess with everything. The best of us miss things, your DH did it, my DH did it, I've done it.

Nothing happened, you've had a fright and he will think things through a bit more now.

smiteyou says it best really, it is a learning curve and you will have close calls. My DD bounced all the way down the stairs on her bum at 14 mos because DH forgot to close the gate. When she got to the bottom she was laughing hysterically. I didn't know whether to shout at DH, thank a god I don't believe in or laugh at her but the gate was never forgotten again.

You know the worst near-miss I had with something one of us ever left near our babies?

Not the electric drill DH left in the playroom after baby-proofing the cupboards, not the scissors which were put on a high table which toddler DS CLIMBED the table to get to, not the bleach which the cleaner left next to their bath toys before I noticed. Nope, it was the change bag.

I put DD, then not rolling, not sitting, not crawling, on a soft squishy change mat on the floor and got out the change bag. I realised I didn't have enough wipes, so I left her - where I thought completely safely - and went upstairs to get some. When I came back down she had reached above her head, grabbed inside the bag, pulled out a nappy sack, and as I came back into the room pulled it across her face. I still get chills thinking about the what-ifs I'd been a minute longer.

The point is that there is ALWAYS something dangerous if you're a baby, and you have to learn bloody quickly to pre-empt disaster, but you also have to learn not to let anxiety take over your life.

Good grief. The poor kid is never going to be able to do anything. You need to get a grip and chill the fuck out.

And you don't need to go over the top with babyproofing. I didn't do anything special, but made damn sure they all knew what the word no meant. Bumps, scrapes and breaks will happen. It's called childhood.

What rhubarb said. We had a stair gate but that was it.

It is a lot easier to houseproof the kid than to kidproof the house - more effective as well as it travels with them.

Saws produce fairly minor cuts and injuries in small children. Ditto safety razors (please don't ask me to confess how I know this).

Pull cords on blinds, on the other hand -- yep, I'd worry about those.

You are over reacting.

Seriously, foam edging????

I think everything has been said. The OP knows she was being a bit PFB and unreasonable. Lets leave it at that.
No need for rudeness Hepsibar