Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take a baby to the red light district in Amsterdam.

110 replies

honeytea · 02/07/2013 09:22

We are staying in Amsterdam for 2 nights next week, I asked my Dutch friend what she would recommend we do whilst in Amsterdam, she said we must walk through the red light district it is a real experience and it probably won't be around for ever.

We have a ds who is 6 montgs old. He would be asleep either in his pram ( with a blanket hung from the hood) or snuggled up in a sling.

My dp and my friend think it would be fine to take a baby to the red light district ( friend also had a young baby) I amnot too sure. Dp is Swedish and he often says I am a prude. Dp's logic is that ds won't remember it even if he does wake up ( which is unlikely.) when ds has seen naked women other than myself ( sil's sunbathing and friends popping in and out of the sauna) he has just stared at their breasts as if he is thinking hmm they have milk too!

The culture of sex around children is very relaxed in Sweden, most people co-sleep and in our
Preparing for birth and parenthood class the midwife encouraged us to resume a sexual relationship even with the baby in the bed, ds was given a children's book about the body which included a picture of an erect penis and sexual intercourse ( the book is hidden for now.) my dp has liberal ( Swedish) views which often clash with my less liberal ( British views possibly)

So mumsnet jury, aibu to take my asleep baby for a stroll around the red light district?

OP posts:
annh · 02/07/2013 13:01

I have no idea why your friend would think this is a "must see" experience when you are in Amsterdam. I lived in Amsterdam for several years and walked along the very edge of the red light district to get to work. There is nothing edifying or pleasant about watching underage girls or 40-something women gyrating in their underwear in a window at 8.30 in the morning.

I actually found the RLD safer at night than during the day, unless it was late at night. Evenings however were fine - lots of tourists, lots of lights covering the grime, lots of bars with music etc. I expect later on when the stag parties get drunk is a different experience. For me, day time was more distressing. You can see how young (or old) the girls are in the cold light of day and how dead behind the eyes. You notice how shabby lots of the buildings are and any of the "locals" on the streets look either menacing or stoned.

WorraLiberty · 02/07/2013 13:03

I'm loving all the people who have been there...telling the OP not to go there.

So it was OK for you to satisfy your curiosity, but not for the OP to do the same thing?

And all these people who 'stumbled across it' or 'ended up there', is it not very well sign posted or something?

OP, it's no the sort of place I'd want to go to. But if you want to go, I don't see how your baby will ever remember.

LizaRose · 02/07/2013 13:11

Birds, without doubt there are illegal, trafficked prostitutes in Amsterdam, but the ones in the windows in the RLD have licences, pay taxes and are entitled to be protected by the police so they can carry out their business. They get unlimited free condoms provided. In any case, I think it's worth people seeing for themselves before they make a judgement. I certainly didn't see any bruised women with blank stares gyrating in the windows.

Do you have any links to the stories you mention?

WitchOfEndor · 02/07/2013 13:17

empowered women and a respectful but festive atmosphere Grin

It's sad/bored women in dayglo bikinis being leered at by drunk British stag do's. you can hear them coming down the street roaring football songs.

It is interesting to see, but not the same as going to Anne Franks house!

nenevomito · 02/07/2013 13:22

Worra - I didn't go to Amsterdam to satisfy my curiosity about the red light district. Its actually pretty hard to visit the centre of Amsterdam on-foot and not see the women in windows unless you get cabs or the tram around the edges to get where you want to go.

As for getting there by accident - its quite easy as its just off the main foot thoroughfares.

nenevomito · 02/07/2013 13:27

Liza - just because someone has a license and pays taxes doesn't mean they're not trafficked.

WilsonFrickett · 02/07/2013 14:44

To be fair Worra we went through as a short-cut at 10am, naievely thinking it would be shut. It wasn't. We walked for one block then turned right and got out of there. We certainly didn't 'go looking' or plan a walk through that famous 'respectful festive atmosphere' as part of our trip.

QuintessentialOldDear · 02/07/2013 14:47

.... I think people are telling honeytea not to go there expecting a fun, empowered and festive atmosphere! Not that she should not go there at all.

But Amsterdam has SO MUCH ELSE to offer, I personally would not waste time having an outing there. We wandered off into it by chance too, and really nothing much. Not something that required a whole day!

QuintessentialOldDear · 02/07/2013 14:49

I actually think it really sad that OPs Dutch friend is touting the red light district as a must and an attraction for a young family on a stop over. Sad

Rather than museums, or art galleries.

maddy68 · 02/07/2013 16:41

I would have no qualms in taking a baby they have no idea what's going on. It is a fascinating city.
The red light district is interesting tbh
I also took teenagers with me. Sparked an interesting debate too. Seems my children have far more morals than their mother!

mrsjay · 02/07/2013 16:49

why would you want to go and see prostitutes and the leering punters who use them just because it is legal doesn't make it right take your baby if you like I would avoid exploitation of women as much as i could and would assume it was a tourist attraction ,

mrsjay · 02/07/2013 16:52

remember being under-whelmed. Is that it? I thought to myself. Seemed a bit sordid and grubby

prostitution is sordid and grubby though

mrsjay · 02/07/2013 16:54

wouldn't assume it was a tourist attraction* it is easier to Traffic young girls into amsterdam than anywhere else I would imagine as it is legal , these young girls are promised riches but end up on their backs forever

Winterwood · 02/07/2013 17:04

It is a tourist attraction in as far as it is full of visitors, not locals. The Dutch friends I have find it seedy and a bit of a blight on their city. They get a bit tired of tourist s assuming that this is representative. There are moves to close it I think but I don't know how successful they will be. It is just a few streets not far from the station. No harm in walking past in the day. I haven't never been there at night but you can see amateur films posted on youtube if you want a flavour.

Original poster
honeytea · 02/07/2013 18:05

I ( obviously wrongly) assumed that because it is legal the women would be there by choice and have a fair and safe working environment.

I don't disagree with selling sex in principle, but I do disagree with vulnerable/young/desperate women being forced by other people or their circumstances to sell sex.

In my imagination I imagined women who had made a positive decision to sell sex but I can see I was very wrong.

OP posts:
McNewPants2013 · 02/07/2013 18:14

I have been and there is no way i would take a baby through there from a saftey point of view.

eurozammo · 02/07/2013 18:15

As others have said, if you want to see it, it's no problem to go wiht your baby. It's just bored women in underwear. A 6 month old is unlikely to be scarred for life by that. At night it does attract the drunken stag contingent, although they were pretty well-behaved when I was there.

The Sex Museum is worth a trip though - the Victorian Pron is hilarious (particularly the pics where they keep their top hats on)!

Dontbugmemalone · 02/07/2013 18:16

I wouldn't take myself, let alone a baby.

I really don't see the appeal of looking at prostitutes in windows. The red light district is not a must see IMO.

AnyFucker · 02/07/2013 18:18

OP, have you had a look at those YouTube videos of the Red Light district ?

Why you would consider traipsing a child through there, I don't know

Even more illuminating though are the comments afterwards.

Happy reading (not)

TheMagicKeyCanFuckOff · 02/07/2013 18:21

I wouldn't want to go. And I say that as a relaxed Swede (who was given a book similar to the one you describe for your DS....when DS was born).

Coconutty · 02/07/2013 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 02/07/2013 18:27

They also have public urinals in the middle of the streets. Lovely.

AnyaKnowIt · 02/07/2013 18:28

Your husband thinks your a prude Shock that would be my first issue.

And why would anyone with an ounce of decency want to go to a RLD?

Vagndidit · 02/07/2013 18:28

Dangit! We were just in Amsterdam over Half-term. How did I miss the cat boat?!?Hmm

We were there for 4 days and managed to completely avoid going anywhere near the RLD with our DS (5) Amsterdam is a gorgeous city with loads to keep kids quite happy that don't involve touring through seedy neighborhoods.

(Take the bus to Zaanse Schans instead Grin)

Lj8893 · 02/07/2013 18:30

I have been to Amsterdam several times, and always stayed in hostels in the middle of the RLD. In the evenings its gets very very busy and can be full of drunk people, and lots of drug dealers and so I wouldn't feel comfortable with my baby there.

The daytime is fine though (although not much to see and does not have the same atmosphere it does at night).

Swipe left for the next trending thread