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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to move house because of this? (horse related)

50 replies

probablysilly · 02/07/2013 08:13

We bought our house a few years ago. It does not have any land with it so I rented a field from a local farmer for my horse. It isn't a great field and I can only use it for about 6-7 months a year. Over the years he has changed his (originally friendly attitude) and has started asking me to pay more for the field and rent it all year (I originally rented it weekly/monthly as I used it). The field is right beside my house and wasn't really good for anything before he started renting it but now it's prime land afahic.

The problem is that there are some other women renting land from him for their horses and he is basically playing us off each other. They don't live nearby (it's on their commute) and he seems very keen to keep them so he makes allowances for them that he doesn't for me. (different rental terms etc)

They want to rent the field that I usually use (bigger and flatter than theirs) and now the farmer is trying to bid us up against each other. They'll win at this game because they can afford to pay more. It's just made me so upset and angry. I won't have anywhere nearby to keep my horse and tbh that will probably mean that I will have to sell him because I couldn't afford the huge livery fees all year round. Then I'll have to watch them and their horses in the field everyday. :( What makes it worse is that I was the one that mentioned to them that the farmer had land to rent in the first place. So I brought it on myself!

I know this is such a silly problem but it has really upset me. The horse is my one luxury. I'm a SAHM and I don't really have much spare cash. I have dreamed about owning one all my life and now I feel like my dream is just being ruined by all this. I have been crying so much about it that I think DH thinks I'm slightly mad!

We know this isn't our forever house but now I just feel like I want to get out of here ASAP because I just feel so miserable. The problem is, that with the market the way it is, we probably won't sell for a while and we've just had some work done so we can't really afford to just knock down the price to speed it up. I just feel so trapped and sad.

Feel free to tell me how unreasonable I'm being and that I should count my blessings etc. We do actually have a lot to be thankful for but this just keeps overshadowing it at the moment.

OP posts:
EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 02/07/2013 08:18

What do you do with the horse the other 5-6 mo ths of the year? Are there any other farmers who might rent to you?

Original poster
probablysilly · 02/07/2013 08:25

I have to pay for him to go into livery then. Big stretch for me financially so not something I could do all year. I have asked every other farmer locally but no one has anything available.

OP posts:
MaxPepsi · 02/07/2013 08:36

Why don't you and the other women get together and play the farmer at his own game?

Speak to them and see if they can help you.

I don't really get the horse world but it was my understanding that you all helped each other out?

Original poster
probablysilly · 02/07/2013 08:46

Not really in this case unfortunately. They're very 'out for themselves' iykwim. They want the field beside my house and the farmer will rent it to them so that's that. :(

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 02/07/2013 08:52

Are you sure there are no other farmers (or householders with land) nearby that would want the rent?

kungfupannda · 02/07/2013 08:53

The problem is that if the farmer is being offered more money for a year-round rental from other customers, he's hardly likely to prefer your offer of half a year for less money.

Why can't the field be used all year round? Is it too wet? Or is it just that there's no shelter? If it's the latter, could you afford to put a basic stable up yourself and rent the field all year round, possibly on a long lease?

kungfupannda · 02/07/2013 08:54

Or is your horse suitable for a working livery?

AKissIsNotAContract · 02/07/2013 08:54

Can't you take the other field - the one these women currently rent? If it's not as nice it should be cheaper too.

Pedallleur · 02/07/2013 08:56

Unfortunately you are in something you can't win because you haven't got the money. Leave the farmer and the other bidders to get on with it and look at alternatives as mentioned by other posters

TenToWine · 02/07/2013 08:56

Can't you all use the same field, or could you rent the one they currently use even if a bit further?

Butkin · 02/07/2013 08:57

I fully understand your position. We also rent land from our neighbouring farmer on an annual contract and we have competition from other people that rent from him in a similar fashion. We're quite lucky though that he likes us and he seems to be happy not to play us off against each other - which he could do. In turn we go the extra yard by paying another farmer to top our fields etc which keeps them in good order.

I completely understand your pain. Maybe you could try and negotiate an annual contract - I could understand why he wouldn't want you to pick and choose your months.

Try posting here in Tack Room topic where you'll meet plenty of like minded people.

Whoknowswhocares · 02/07/2013 08:59

Is the field big enough for all the horses? Yours will be much happier with company! The farmer sounds very money motivated so would be onside to getting rent from ALL of you! Or could you not swap fields with them, seeing as your horse will not need the same amount of space?
Selling is a last option! Why not put him in livery and find someone to part loan him? That will spread both time and cost commitments

schoolgovernor · 02/07/2013 09:02

As a horse owner I can confirm that if you want a field you need to pay for it all year round, which is what I do. When I've chosen to move mine away for a month or so I still pay my field rent. Otherwise I could hardly complain if the owner decided to move someone else in when it's empty and he's getting no rent.
I can't see any alternative apart from renting something all year round, so that it will be there when you need it. Is their field so bad? Could you swap and maybe pay a bit less for theirs but all year round? What about offering the farmer an annual lease, or longer?
Or, what about looking for a sharer, who would either share the cost of you keeping your field (paid for all year!) and livery period? Or who would share the cost of you taking your horse somewhere completely different?

Curioustiger · 02/07/2013 09:15

My mum 'rents' land to horse owners, by which I mean she allows them to park their horse on her land, then gets upset as they gaily come up with excuse after excuse as to why they can't pay their rent. If you're actually paying your landowner,OP, I think you might be a more precious asset than you think (and if you live in Worcestershire by any chance please pm me!

I'm afraid I don't have a lot of practical advice (advertising in newsagent windows maybe? Local Facebook?) but I do hope you resolve this as it must be really upsetting for you.

Original poster
probablysilly · 02/07/2013 09:17

Yes, Nanny - believe me, I've tried everyone!

I know kungfu , I can understand why he's doing it. It's just so frustrating because I basically put myself in this situation by mentioning to them that there was land available. I've been kicking myself about it ever since. Before they came along he was happy to be getting anything for it! Yes, the field is too wet. I did put a shelter up but it floods in the winter.

No, he wouldn't be suitable for working livery.

akiss They aren't switching fields - they want this one in addition to the one they have so they can rotate.

Ten No, they don't want my horse in with theirs.

Butkin, thanksfor the understanding. I have always been able to rent fields weekly/monthly. He used to be happy with that. Now, he is trying to negotiate an annual contract but I can't afford to pay for it because a) I don't have the lump sum.
b) I can't pay for it while I'm paying for livery in the winter as well.
So nice that you have a good understanding. We did too until I opened my stupid big mouth to these other women :( That's what you get when you try to be nice!

Whoknows - they don't want him in with theirs.

school, he used to be happy with our weekly/monthly arrangement and that's the arrangement he has with the other women too. I guess I could try to to find someone else to go in with me but I'm just worried they'll turn out to be horrible like these ones have!

OP posts:
Original poster
probablysilly · 02/07/2013 09:18

Unfortunatley not in Worchestershire tigerlily :) Maybe we should move in that direction!

OP posts:
sparechange · 02/07/2013 09:19

Can't you speak to them and have your horse in with theirs?
Horses are much happier with a bit of company usually!
That way, you can split the rent between you and them, and the farmer will have to suck it up

Doubtfuldaphne · 02/07/2013 09:23

I would definitely do a horse share with someone so you can afford the livery. Make it a DIY livery to get the cheapest option. Also aren't there any riding schools near you? They could help you out. Another option is to loan the horse out for half the year and keep him the other half. I know that doesnt sound great but its better than selling him!

Original poster
probablysilly · 02/07/2013 09:23

spare, they did share a field originally but the women complained constantly and then just rented a separate field for their horses. There is no way they will put them together. I've had all sorts of stupid excuses about it even when I've needed somewhere temporary to put him (for field being rolled or whatever)

OP posts:
Doubtfuldaphne · 02/07/2013 09:24

Where abouts are you in the world? My family have a livery in Sussex :)

Original poster
probablysilly · 02/07/2013 09:25

Doubtful, I have thought of sharing/loaning him but he's still quite green and I don't really want him getting confused. The rising schools aren't that close to me and they charge £££ for livery. I put him into a private yard nearby for the winter but it's pretty ££ too.

OP posts:
Original poster
probablysilly · 02/07/2013 09:26

Doubtful, we aren't near Surrey. I hope you don't mind me not saying where I am.I don't want to out myself. I'm actually a bit worried that this is too identifiable as it is Confused

OP posts:
Doubtfuldaphne · 02/07/2013 09:28

If the riding schools use him for part of the week would they be able to do it cheaper? Not that it would be much help if they're too far away! :(

Original poster
probablysilly · 02/07/2013 09:28

Thanks for all your posts everyone. I really that I'm just sounding really negative and all doom and gloom about it.

I think I just have to accept that the field is going to be theirs and if I can't afford livery then he'll have to go unless I can persuade DH to move! :(

OP posts:
Doubtfuldaphne · 02/07/2013 09:29

That's fair enough, they could all be mnetters!