To wish people would stop telling me how to use the internet?

[Tee2072]

And MN in particular?

Well...am?!?!

It's a thread about, recently, thousands of threads.

Tee

What, in all fairness, did you actually expect?

I expected to be the antichrist by now, actually, Honey.

Hec promised!

::another massive strop::

Although the removing chairs at unicorn dinner visual is making tears roll down my face and my husband thinks I'm insane.

Your work here is done, then....

Thanking Ye

I reached new unforetold heights of nuttiness today. I was listening to a French earworm thingy whilst walking the dog.

Which was fine, till I remembered I was no longer in vast open fields, but back in the populated area.

I merrily told the dog

Asseior!!

Au pied!!

Tres Bien, Bon Fille

Thankfully, the only witness to my cuntiness was the Postman. And he's forgiven me.

Where is everyone?! MN seems empty lately

The Po won't let us play anymore

Everyone's fucked off to FB or Twitter.

Or if the competitive shower thread is to be believed,they are too busy showering to mumsnet.

I have been cleaning because of the lack of action in MN

I am even thinking of just going to bed and even turning the internet off for the night!

It might be time for me to bid MN farewell if it doesn't pic up.

That's why people should have baths. They don't interfere with mnetting

Oh are people saying the shower every 5 minutes with a bath in between usual?

Yes SP, the average mumsnetter showers 15 times a day.

I have started a thread meeting btw.

Isn't that what everyone does? Jesus I'm lucky if I shower every two days!

Omg SP, you must honk

Obviously I would but I have some cats that lick me clean between showers. Has that been said yet on the thread?

I don't know how to use the internet really.

I just keep pushing buttons until I get near where I want to be. I seem to be okay at finding filth and depravity. I'd probably benefit from a bit of patronising - send them my way Tee.

Can I take my laptop into the shower?

are these cats stuck on the unicorns horns?

what is this "internet" thing you keep talking about?

There appears to be a small human child in my bed. Did one of you lot put it there?

Mnet is quiet because instead of people merrily typing any old shit, people are wringing their hands and thinking of the children.

I have called a meeting and so far only one person has shown up! That is appalling behavior

The toddler is grinding his teeth as he sleeps! I hate it

Arrrgh the grinding.

When I say small human, it can still take up and entire bed.

Honey, I had the biggest on my face reading your French commands to the dog - did she pay ANY attention?

I'm in the small humans bed. We are top and tailing.

My bed is covered in clothes, make up, magazines. If my mum could see it she would bollock me

Yes she executed all commands perfectly