to shorten DD's name however I want?

[Thurlow]

A petty one for a Monday morning, I know not bored at work at all, oh no, not me

DD has a long name, and we also chose a common shortened version to use regularly. For example, let's say she's Catherine, and we chose that name knowing we wanted to call her Katie, she would just have a full version on her birth certificate. However, as she's getting older I find that I'm starting to quite regularly call her Cat. It just comes without thinking, really, and isn't deliberate. But DP hates that shortened version.

This is only playing on my mind a little bit today because we were at a party yesterday and someone who didn't know us said to DP, "so you're daughter is called Cat?" and he said "no, she's called Katie" (with minor death glares in my direction). It made me realise that he really doesn't like the nn Cat.

AIBU to call her a nn I want to, or is it a bit rude to call her something her dad doesn't like?

And Cat is a perfectly good, and rather cool name.

But if you wanted her to be Katie then why not just put Katie on the BC? DD has a 'nickname' with a couple of potential longer versions which we didnt like. In this instance, she is Meg. I didnt want Margaret as I dont like the other NNs so she is just the nn we like.

People on here always say "put the full name on, give them options" but names like Sarah or Claire dont have longer versions for choice.

A petname between a parent and a child is exactly that - between a parents and a child - he doesn't have to call her Cat, he can call her whatever he likes... but what you call her is between you and her. He'd hate my list of pumpkin/chubbychops/cheekypants/OiFred/grubby monster

Mortified - because Sarah and Claire are 'proper' names if you like, whereas a lot of people wouldn't consider 'Cat' a proper name (some don't even consider Katie a proper name). Nothing wrong with either way.

I work with two people called Cat. Even their email is cat.surname@....

I think Cat is becoming more popular as a nickname.

I never had a nickname cause I have one of those boring can't be shortened names. It made me sad when I was younger.

I think names are fluid though - her official name is the name you both chose. What she is known as day to day may well change over the years.

My DSis is in fact Elizabeth - but despite my Mum being unkeen, she morphed into Lizzy aged about 2, and just as my Mum had got used to that she morphed again into Liz!

We named our daughter a name we love that we feel will serve her well through childhood and adulthood. She has chosen a nickname for herself - in you scenario your dh would object to using that nickname - which just won't wash in the long run.

If you like 'Cat'/'Lizzy'/'whatever' then go with it. Your daughter will soon correct you when she's old enough!

I can't decide whether you are being unreasonable or not.

In a way I think i over thought naming our boys and only used names where I liked all the variations ie I could have used James as I like James, Jamie, Jim, jimmy so any one would have been fine as far as i am concerned. But I would have been nervous of using a name where I didn't like just one of the nicknames ie I didn't have Alexandra on my list because I like Allie, Lexi or the full version but not Alex for a girl.

I suppose overall, I wouldn't like my DH to use a version of the name that I truly disliked so if I were you I would attempt to phase it out.

sorry Lindor

We ruled out some names as we didnt like the shortenings. Dd was almost genevieve but i knew it would become jen which i dont like so we didnt use it.

When we chose merryn we thought it may be shortened to merry or ryn/rin both of which are fine. I didnt think dp would come up with mezza...which is hideous. Thankfully he has bern understanding of my hatred for it and doesnt really use it, other rhan occasionally in jest as he knows it sets my teeth on edge. It was never used enough for dd to recognise it as her 'name' thankfully. She accepts merry or merryn or mouse...

Oh and dd has given ds4 a nickname, he is rudi and if amything it gets lengthened. She calls him sushi! And now so do we

I have a Catherine. ATM it's not shortened, but if it was I'd love Cat or Kitty. What I didn't think of is DH and fil's London accent - she's called Cafrine, which makes my teeth itch (although I've got used to it now and DH is better). That, I really can't say anything about!

So you not only chose a name that you where deliberately going to shorten but you have now gone against that agreement.

YABVU.

My mother called me "X" because she wanted to call me "Y" we had a very heated discussion about it when I hit 13. The result being that if she wanted to call me "Y" she should have done so.

I am now known as "Z" a name that is a shortened version of what she named me and she really really hates it.
(awaits "X" "Y" "Z" is a funny name comments ).

If you wanted to call her "Katie" you should have put that on her birth cert.

Bowlers, you win on the examples It's the shortened version that you say you don't like which we decided to use as her everyday name, and which we generally introduce her as, though we do sometimes use the longer version as it seems a shame to waste it. But it's the short version you say you do like which I'm finding myself using more. Does that make it any clearer? Because the name I'm using is almost yet another contraction of the shortened name.

So yes, mmelindor, you were right.

I think I'm more confused now then when I started this thread!!

OP what's my prize?

Incidentally, I used the male version for one of my boys as a middle name as I really like the sound of the whole name.

Also I said I called my children names that I like all shortened versions of BUT with one of them I actually don't like the full name and cringe when it's used, so quickly correct it to the shortened version. I really hope he doesn't revert to it when he's older!

Ummm.... take your choice, or ?

Ooh. Good guess Bowler.

I'm going to say then that YANBU, Thurlow.

It really isn't like calling her Betty when you'd agreed on Lizzie. It's a clear shortening of both her full name and the shortened version.

Perhaps it's because we tend to soften harsh sounding names (like saying Kittycat - I sometimes call my dd this).

Your DH needs to get over himself and stop being a fussbucket

5madthings thanks for the laugh, I nearly coughed coffee all over the keyboard reading this - Mezza - love/hate it!!

I love Lexi and Lex (Lex Luther!!).

BoneyBack, my guess is Charlotte - I had that on my list as I really love Lottie, but I went to school with a Carly and she was obnoxious. I like Charlie for a girl tho, really cute.

See, bringmeroses, Lexi is the one shortening we're not a fan of. We live in hope that because it is quite popular at the moment, should DD end up in a class full of Lexie's, Alexa's etc, Lexi will be the most popular nickname and DD is more likely to stick to the short versions we use as a way of differentiating herself. This is probably a lost hope, but there you go! It doesn't make my teeth itch or anything, so if she decides to call herself it, we'll just go along with it...

Glad it mad you laugh bringme but god I hate mezza its vile and we took so long choosing her name as well, and its such a lovely name, shortening it to mezza is sacrelous. (So)

DS has a four letter name. This has been extended, having been given a nickname by one of his friends when they were two. I started using it, even his playschool staff do it (his friend is at the playschool too). Used to irritate the hell out of exP, but then his nickname for DS irritated me too. However, that was 'their' thing, and this is 'ours'. We've both respected that we have different nicknames for DS, he answers to all of them, and all is fine.

At first I thought YANBU but then remembered that I hate a particular possible nickname for my DD and have been very vocal about not wanting people to use it (adding an ie on the end). I would be really put out if DH ignored me. Therefore I would say don't use a name your DH hates.