to find it really irritating when people who earn a lot say...

[Doodledumdums]

...But I work really hard for the money I get.

Sorry, totally unimportant, but it really irritates me!

I have a few friends who earn quite a lot of money, and I don't begrudge them this at all, but I just find it really insulting when they say 'But I do work really hard for it.' I also work hard! I feel like it implies that I don't! Okay, I am on maternity leave at the moment, so am not actually at work, (although i'd say that to some extent, looking after a baby is harder than my actual job anyway!) but when I am working, I am usually in the office by 8am, and often don't leave until 7pm, and I earn literally a fraction of what some of my friends earn. That is fine, I knew that when I got in to my chosen industry, but it doesn't mean that I don't work as hard as they do or deserve more!

They don't need to be defensive about it at all! It is totally fine that they earn what they do, I just don't understand why they can't be a bit more gracious about it and say something like 'Yes, I am lucky that I have a job I love which pays well.'

Oh I don't know, maybe I am being unreasonable and ultra-sensitive. I am sure they don't mean to imply that I don't work hard, but it just feels like that sometimes. Totally a first world issue!

P.S- I have self esteem and anxiety issues...which is possibly why I find this upsetting!

[garlicnutty]

... Oops, I missed out the other important part! Highly-paid workers, apparently, hate their jobs and trudge around endlessly weighed down by their responsibilities and professional concern.

My arse! Most of the best-paid jobs are enormous fun! If you're fortunate enough to have an aptitude, passion, and the right breaks, people can't pay you enough!

[MorrisZapp]

Garlic you're inventing stuff that wasn't said. People in well paid jobs generally made choices to get there. Nobody said low paid people have no responsibility, or that they dance home from work.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

I think people often come out with stock phrases such as I work hard for my money because they are concerned that income differences can be a source of tension. I don't discuss my salary with my siblings or some of my friends because the differential is too great. My annual salary is more than the value of my brothers' houses. They both work hard too. I do pick up the tab at family events though.

[garlicnutty]

I was replying to a specific quote, Morris, which I quoted. It included "They could have chosen to do something they enjoyed more ... or chosen a job where the responsibility ends when you walk out the door."

The quote clearly implied that high-paid jobs are all important drudgery, while low-paid ones are carefree fun.

Which is bollocks, as should be obvious.

[MorrisZapp]

Most of the best paid jobs are enormous fun? Are we talking being Mick Jagger here or what? Fair enough, people like him are lucky sods. But I'm assuming Op isn't hanging out with uber wealthy performers and artists. I thought she meant those in senior positions in eg medicine, industry etc.

[UpTheFRIGGinDuff]

Yes,and so does mine.
He doesn't switch off either,he finishes at 11pm and starts at 6am some days,in between he is planning and worrying and hoping he'll get everything done in time.

His boss is a total bastard,he knows the job market it shit so he's made it clear if DP complains or asks for help in the kitchen he'll be fired.

In fact DP's salary was supposed to go up after 3 months,he's been there a year (got the food hygine up from 2 to 5 and gets complemintents from customers for everything he cooks) and every time he mentions it he's told there are plenty of people who'd work for less.

[MissHC]

Totally agree with garlicnutty.

So nurses, care workers and the like can obviously switch off completely ones they go home?

As in my post above, I used to work in a call centre. We dealt with government grants that included installing heating systems in people's homes. I can't tell you the amount of times I went home crying or didn't sleep at night, because someone spoke to me for an hour earlier that day, begging me to please get their heating sorted because they didn't have any hot water nor heating and it was the middle of the winter and they had a 2 year old and no where else to go. Or the person with terminal cancer. Or the mother of the disabled child. Every single day there were hard breaking stories, and all I could do was sit and there and tell them I was sorry but that there was nothing I could do to get them prioritised. And that the timescales were 6 months (if they were lucky).

As mentioned, I earned £13k a year in that role. Working 40 hours a week. I can tell you that when I went home I could NOT switch off.

Now I earn a multiple of that and I can go home and not care if something's going wrong because what I do doesn't have any influence over anyone's well being.

There are THOUSANDS of jobs that people have to put their live and soul into and the pay is crap. Pretty much all healthcare jobs to start with. I think it's extremely obnoxious and arrogant to say that people who are on £100k+ salaries work harder than others.

My dad earns that and yes, he works hard and he deserves it. But so does a nurse in a stretched NHS hospital on a £20k salary.

[MorrisZapp]

Nope, that quote does not imply that low paid jobs are carefree or fun at all. It does however point out the reality of how much responsibility one generally takes on when progressing the career ladder.

[garlicnutty]

I worked in advertising and fashion. One year, I earned 30 times what my cleaner's husband did.

While out & about with my advertising pals, I'd often run into bunches of finance people. They earned even more than we did and had at least as much fun.

You don't have to be a rock star to live a pretty nice life.

[garlicnutty]

I've reached my pompous tripe tolerance threshold. Goodnight, all you "worthy" and ungracious high earners!

[harverina]

Well there are some professions which require a lot of hard work, determination and intelligence to get into and be successful in. These people are deserving of their high salaries and have arguably worked hard for it. You have people who are on professions who earn lots of money without doing much for it.

On the flip side, you have people in low income jobs who work hard and are committed to their jobs.

I agree that in most cases, more money is paid for more responsibility. If your willing to be a brain surgeon and have worked hard to get grades to get into uni, completed uni then done the post qualifying exams then I would tend to agree that this person has worked harder than say, a sales assistant.

I don't think that by saying "well I worked hard" is necessarily putting you down or suggesting that you don't work hard.

[Mamafratelli]

I have a friend who earns a hell of a lot she would never say it but she works bloody hard. A lot harder than anyone else I know. Often found at her desk at midnight, even 2am then back in before 7 the next day.

She loves her job but I don't envy her for a second.

[ShellyBoobs]

I'm on the fence with this one.

I know people who earn very little but work very hard for it. I genuinely feel for them. One of my closest friends is in this position and it seriously upsets me how hard she works to see her just about scrape by. So much so that I try very hard to help her out where I can, without insulting her (she's a proud woman).

I also know a few others who wouldn't dream of doing anything other than the bare minimum, arriving at and leaving work on the dot without caring if things are left unfinished. I assume they don't earn a huge amount. That seems fair to me.

My own salary is good but I made and make a lot of sacrifices to be in a position to earn it. I studied full time until I was 26 whilst working full time hours on top - I had no choice but to leave home and make my own way at a young age so I don't feel 'lucky' to have got the qualifications I did.

I also don't feel lucky that in the last 7 weeks I've done 2 weeks in Indonesia, travelled back to the UK for a week, gone back out again for a week and then travelled from there to Thailand for a few more days. I've also spent 2 separate days in London (we live in Yorkshire) and spent 1 night in Amsterdam. Oh and I was away for DD's birthday. Again.

Whether I'm travelling or in the UK I will work 60+ hours most weeks and on top of that I'll be checking and responding to emails at night and over the weekend. On top of that, a lot of the long-haul travel is at the weekend in order to be where I need to be on Monday. That's not lucky either.

My circle of friends don't discuss incomes (thank god) but I know I'd be cat's-bumming if there was any insinuation that I was just 'lucky' to earn well.

[stopgap]

The hardest jobs I ever had were factory jobs while I was at university. One involved folding linen in stifling heat for up to ten hours a daywith nary a sufficient break to eat a soggy canteen sandwichand the other involved packing boxes of medical supplies at lightning speed. The exhaustion at the end of the day was indescribable, and subsequent professional jobs in copywriting and editing have been far easier in many ways.

As for nursing, that seems to hit all the grafting high notes: stress, physical toil and long, unsociable hours.

[IsSpringSprangedYet]

YABalittleU

Maybe they feel a bit guilty or awkward sharing their salary and feel they need to defend themselves? And maybe they aren't 'lucky' to earn well - maybe they actually do work hard?

I wouldn't have read that as them insulting you, just that they were defending themselves IYSWIM?

[HabbaDabbaDoo]

I've never heard anyone say the bit about working hard for their money. But then I work in the City and so do my friends. We all earn a lot so we don't have to feel defensive about money.

[HabbaDabbaDoo]

.. around each other.

[MorrisZapp]

Garlic, I'm not surprised you and your friends had great nights out and have nice lives. I'm talking about the actual work day.

A high earning accountant for example, certainly might have fun at the weekends and enjoying great holidays etc. But the time spent at work is different.

Most working people enjoy their 'down time', regardless of income.

[ShellyBoobs]

The hardest jobs I ever had were factory jobs while I was at university.

For physical toughness, I would say exactly the same. I worked nightshifts in a cardboard factory while studying; I don't think I could ever get used to the heat, noise and hard physical toil.

[Alisvolatpropiis]

doodle

As you will see in one of previous posts I did say I found myself unemployed because my (fucking awful) employer found himself unable to pay me. He sacked me because I was the newest employee and therefore the easier to get rid of.

When I say keeping a job is not down to luck I meant in a business that is functioning well. I wouldn't dream of saying that somebody who found themselves made redundant/ sacked prior the year (or two years as it is now) before having any kind of legal rights because of cash flow problems was to blame.

[garlicnutty]

Does nobody understand the concepts of humility & gratitude any more? :(

"Lucky" is not an insult, you dimwits. Why on earth can't you just acknowledge your relative privilege; good fortune; luck?

Just acknowledge it, and acknowledge that not everyone gets the breaks. Then you won't have to do all that ridiculous posturing, and you will be gracious.

Easy, isn't it :)

[ShellyBoobs]

garlic are you pissed?

You're making personal attacks on people now.

[UpTheFRIGGinDuff]

Morris how are people on low wages supposed to enjoy their 'downtime' when they've got no fricking money,or time,to do anything?!

Mainly,when we are not at work,we are asleep. We are exhausted,and even if we weren't,we don't have any spare money for outings or nights out.
We enjoy our DC and each others company,but I do wish we could have some fun days out together,as it is we simply can't do anymore overtime to get the extra cash for it.

At least if we worked hard for a decent wage we could have the luxury of that.

All we can do is hope that one of us will stumble upon a better paid job,or that we'll find the time to pursue our other qualifications that are on the back burner as we haven't the time or money to invest in them.

[garlicnutty]

No, Shelly, only on one person It is unlovely of me, though a common enough reaction to adversaries who insist on pretending to misunderstand one's points. Like some other posters, too, I find it extra repulsive when wives are supercilious on behalf of their husbands' earning power, and wanted to check whether Morris was one such.

Not pissed, but incredibly tired and really do need to shut the browser.