To ask how on EARTH you wipe with such a small number of sheets of loo roll?

[AmyFarrahFowlerCooper]

I see this every so often on here (the SIL thread is the one I'm thinking of atm) where people use 8 sheets of loo roll for a wee. How?! How does that work? Do you just wipe once with all 8 squares or use a sheet for a 8 little wipes? Don't you get wee on your hands?

This is a genuine question because I use a million rolls a week and I'm dumbfounded every time I see a post about a family of four using a quarter of what I use for a week.

[CamelBalls]

Ewwwwwww not a bum squirter!!

[garlicnutty]

Despite having only read 2 pages of your thread, Amy, I really want to thank you!!! I thought I was alone ... The Bog Paper Monster, whose bottom must be loads more gummy than everyone else's, because they can't get over the amount of paper I use ... :(

Actually, I suspect they all go round with bits of slowly-drying poo stuck in their bum-cracks. I find the British (I am British) pretty disgusting for our suspicion of bidets and wet wipes. I'd like one of those bog-hoses.

[towerofjelly]

I remember my DS giving the loo roll a swift yank and whatever landed in a pile on the floor was scrunched and used. Many many sheets. Still the same. Me 2 sheets wee 4 sheets poo.

[CamelBalls]

How did you get on from using 50 wipes - did you half that for a wee?!

[cantspel]

The bum squirter is gross and they tend to be plumbed into the cold water supply.

What you need is a GoBidet. Fixes to the loo itself and is plumbed into the hot and cold water supply so you wash your arse with lovely warm jets of water, then just part dry with a sheet or 2 of tesco's value.

[cantspel]

69.89.19.46/bidets-gobidet.htm

[BlackMini]

Surely wiping with 8 sheets is like wiping your fanjo with a duvet? Especially with some of the more luxurious brands.

I'm a 2 sheet for a wee and 2 or 3 for a poo using as many as necessary, kind of girl. It just feels so wasteful to use more.

[Pumpkinette]

I use about 6 sheets for a pee. Not sure how much for a poo. Probobly around 6-8 sheets for wiping, the 'splash barrier' however must take the sheet count to at least 30.

[garlicnutty]

That GoBidet looks a bit like the Geberit bum-squirting loo that's being advertised atm. I couldn't be happy with something like that - wouldn't the squirty tubes be liable to get poo on them? Then you'd be squirting your nethers with poo water [boak]

There's no reason you couldn't plumb a bum-hose () into hot & cold. In fact, I've just realised that a longer hose for my shower mixer would do just fine! (Tiny bathroom.) That should give visitors something to talk about behind my back ...

[garlicnutty]

Ooh, look! A thermostatic one for Brits (and better designed) :)

[cantspel]

No you dont get poo on them as the arm folds to the side of the loo and you pull the lever to move the arm after you have finished pooing.
Not even my kids manage to poo on the water pipe and if anyone could then it would be them.

[Poppetspinkpants]

I'm torn between at the linen towels by the toilet and shoulder shaking giggles coupled with Mutley sniggers at the other descriptions.

Even worse, I'm at work and my colleagues are giving me funny looks.

[JackieTheFart]

Well I'm a scruncher, I don't count pages, and I use bloody loads for a poo!

I don't put a splash barrier down, who does that??!

[mirry2]

Yes the linen towels sound dreadful. Who washes them? Do people have maids to do it?

[shewhowines]

2-3 here but it has to be good quality. I would over compensate with cheap stuff.

One or two wipes per poo though. Piles put paid to that.

[valiumredhead]

I use whatever I need, counting is very funny

I want a bidet or bum squirter !

[valiumredhead]

Garlic-it's called 'shataff' in the description I so want one !

[PunkHedgehog]

Splash barrier?

Er. Where and how is this constructed?

[MrsPennyapple]

Splash barrier: A bundle of loo roll that you put down before you poo, so as to avoid splash-back and also minimise sound effects.

[BergholtStuttleyJohnson]

How the hell can you use 50 sheets for a wee? Do you piss into the tissue? I don't even use that much for a shit and I'm very clean of arse. 2 sheets is sufficient for a piss, I don't get piss on my hands but if I did I'd just wash them like I do anyway.

[PunkHedgehog]

Ah, I see.

Well, I don't see, but at least I have some idea of what you're talking about.

How any of you still have a working flush is beyond me.

[theodorakisses]

The bum squirted is ok for 3 goes but after that, at 44c is a bit warm. My oh has taught me that when you are constipated and desperate, a few squirts with the hose means you can then pass the log, gross, tmi but effective

[theodorakisses]

Sorry but I do have a maid but I do my own laundry and if you squirt properly they are simply used for drying.

[LillethTheCat]

Im with the OP. 2 sheets folded leaves hardly any room. I know (well hope) we all wash our hands afterwards so its not really a big deal if people use less than others, but I really dont see how its done with so few pieces. I dont count the number of pieces I use, but I would say its at least 5