To ask how on EARTH you wipe with such a small number of sheets of loo roll?

[AmyFarrahFowlerCooper]

I see this every so often on here (the SIL thread is the one I'm thinking of atm) where people use 8 sheets of loo roll for a wee. How?! How does that work? Do you just wipe once with all 8 squares or use a sheet for a 8 little wipes? Don't you get wee on your hands?

This is a genuine question because I use a million rolls a week and I'm dumbfounded every time I see a post about a family of four using a quarter of what I use for a week.

[BoysAreLikeDogs]

Family cloth is boggling

Is it for all the family?

[Mamagiraffe]

I use family cloth.. Wash and reuse, just like ds'j reusable baby wipes x

[AKissIsNotAContract]

I always use 2 sheets for a wee and 4 for a poo. Always folded, never deviate from this.

I had an unfortunate incident with a bumhose on holiday. I thought I could use it to clean out my mooncup. It was a pretty forceful waterjet and sent period splattering all up the walls and even on the ceiling.

[tanukiton]

And it has a dryer so your undercarriage gets wafted dry so technically you would never need loo roll again....

[tanukiton]

m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=_M26PPTHYmE&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D_M26PPTHYmE

For all your rear end cleansing needs :)
Mine has adjustable temp and jet control.

[BadLad]

How do blind people know when they have finished wiping?

[WafflyVersatile]

surely if you use loads of sheets there's a point where it get's like trying to paint coving with a standard paint roller?

[shewhowines]

Thought about this thread this morning when doing the business. I thought I used 2 or 3 sheets for a wee. I can officially verify from this morning, that it is exactly 3 folded roughly along the creases then all folded in half again - so a 6 sheet thickness for the price of 3!

I thought I used loads for a longer job but at three sheets a go' and about 10 to 12 wipes, i'm still well under your 50 sheets for a wee. I'm at the 2 wipe per poo brigade. Your digestive system must be better than mine.

[LillethTheCat]

Im with the OP. 2 sheets folded leaves hardly any room. I know (well hope) we all wash our hands afterwards so its not really a big deal if people use less than others, but I really dont see how its done with so few pieces. I dont count the number of pieces I use, but I would say its at least 5

[theodorakisses]

Sorry but I do have a maid but I do my own laundry and if you squirt properly they are simply used for drying.

[theodorakisses]

The bum squirted is ok for 3 goes but after that, at 44c is a bit warm. My oh has taught me that when you are constipated and desperate, a few squirts with the hose means you can then pass the log, gross, tmi but effective

[PunkHedgehog]

Ah, I see.

Well, I don't see, but at least I have some idea of what you're talking about.

How any of you still have a working flush is beyond me.

[BergholtStuttleyJohnson]

How the hell can you use 50 sheets for a wee? Do you piss into the tissue? I don't even use that much for a shit and I'm very clean of arse. 2 sheets is sufficient for a piss, I don't get piss on my hands but if I did I'd just wash them like I do anyway.

[MrsPennyapple]

Splash barrier: A bundle of loo roll that you put down before you poo, so as to avoid splash-back and also minimise sound effects.

[PunkHedgehog]

Splash barrier?

Er. Where and how is this constructed?

[valiumredhead]

Garlic-it's called 'shataff' in the description I so want one !

[valiumredhead]

I use whatever I need, counting is very funny

I want a bidet or bum squirter !

[shewhowines]

2-3 here but it has to be good quality. I would over compensate with cheap stuff.

One or two wipes per poo though. Piles put paid to that.

[mirry2]

Yes the linen towels sound dreadful. Who washes them? Do people have maids to do it?

[JackieTheFart]

Well I'm a scruncher, I don't count pages, and I use bloody loads for a poo!

I don't put a splash barrier down, who does that??!

[Poppetspinkpants]

I'm torn between at the linen towels by the toilet and shoulder shaking giggles coupled with Mutley sniggers at the other descriptions.

Even worse, I'm at work and my colleagues are giving me funny looks.

[cantspel]

No you dont get poo on them as the arm folds to the side of the loo and you pull the lever to move the arm after you have finished pooing.
Not even my kids manage to poo on the water pipe and if anyone could then it would be them.

[garlicnutty]

Ooh, look! A thermostatic one for Brits (and better designed) :)

[garlicnutty]

That GoBidet looks a bit like the Geberit bum-squirting loo that's being advertised atm. I couldn't be happy with something like that - wouldn't the squirty tubes be liable to get poo on them? Then you'd be squirting your nethers with poo water [boak]

There's no reason you couldn't plumb a bum-hose () into hot & cold. In fact, I've just realised that a longer hose for my shower mixer would do just fine! (Tiny bathroom.) That should give visitors something to talk about behind my back ...